The Influential Attitude

Persistence, Respect, and Curiosity

B. Kim Barnes

Instead of thinking of “influencers” as Instagram stars who guide fashion choices, consider the possibility that you and your friends and colleagues are influencers –in a position to influence others to take actions that can support causes that you care about, make decisions that will help your team or organization, and provide resources that will support your own endeavors. Being a successful influencer involves several factors:

·????? Healthy relationships

·????? Positive reputation; credibility

·????? Ability to take the perspective of others

·????? Behavioral flexibility

·????? An influential attitude.

?Let’s focus for now on the influential attitude. This means, of course, that you sincerely believe in your ideas and think they have value for others. When that is the case, there are three elements to the way you approach others that reflect that belief:

·????? Persistence

·????? Respect

·????? Curiosity

?If an idea or approach or suggestion is truly important to you, you will be persistent in getting others to listen to it, respond to it, and take it on board. If one approach doesn’t work, you’ll try a different one. If one person doesn’t want to take the desired action, you’ll find someone else who may be willing and able. Be cheerful and optimistic as you persist – don’t be a nag, but rather operate from the belief that your idea or suggestion is worthwhile and that you understand it may take some time for others to perceive its value.

?If you want to influence someone, treat them with respect. Making the other person look or feel bad, wrong, or stupid will put them on the defensive and they will not be open to being influenced by you. Assume the person is operating from the best intentions, even if you are not fully convinced that is so. Try taking their perspective and explore what may be going on between their ears in relation to your influence objective.

?And finally, approach influence opportunities with curiosity. Set aside any judgment you have about the other person or group. Allow your natural curiosity to pursue information that will help you to reach your objective. Rather than taking “no” for an answer, learn what stands in the way of “yes.” Do so with the assumption that the other person has a need, a concern, an issue, or a practical problem related to what you are asking them to choose, decide, or act on. What you learn may be the key to getting them on board…perhaps you can enlist others they respect, modify your suggestion, revise your understanding, offer an incentive, demonstrate benefits, or educate the other person about potential costs of not acting.

?Approaching life with an influencer’s attitude means that you can…

·????? Take an action rather than wish things were different

·????? Find your team to get things done

·????? Promote the ideas and causes you believe in

·????? Make your contributions without waiting to be invited to offer them.

?If you want to be an influencer, make sure you have a clear sense of what success would look like, think about how your idea can benefit others, and take the time to plan your approach. Each time you consciously set out to influence another person, take a few minutes afterward to reflect on what worked and what you might want to do differently or next. Being persistent, respectful, and curious will very often lead to success as an influencer.

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#influence #leadership #attitude?