Influencing the World Around Us

I was at a soccer game recently where the refs seemed particularly bad (I'm not a soccer expert, but are they always bad? That might be a whole separate discussion in itself.). In this game, parents from both teams were berating the main referee. I admit I got swept up in it for a bit. And then I stepped back and thought "What are we doing?" This is just a guy trying to do his job refereeing a teenage soccer game. The things that were being said to him - and about him - were embarrassing to humanity. I get it, you might say this is small and incidental and it's part of the game...even (debatably) that this is part of his job (if that's true, I'm just glad no one yells at me in my job like that!). Yet this is still a person and it still is a job. And when we engage this way we're not making the world better, we're not making the world the kind of place we want to be in.

How we treat the referee, how we treat the worker at Starbucks who messed up our order, or the airline agent, or the waitress who couldn't get to us because they were understaffed, is how we treat people. How we treat the stranger on social media through the comments we make, is how we treat people. And these actions shape what settles in our heart and affects how we - and they - treat others. It truly influences the world around us. Do we choose charity and patience and assume people are trying their best? Or do we choose anger and agression and believe people are incompetent or lazy?

Believe me, I'm not lecturing, I'm with you in having to make these choices as I've been as frustrated as anyone at games (as my team gets called for another offsides) or restaurants (where no one has been to my table in 15 minutes). But how we show up to others might be the primary choice we make that affects the quality of our life. What we say to them and what we say about them has a ripple effect that is impossible to quantify.

I have long believed leadership is simply about influence. Anyone who influences others is a leader....which pretty much describes everyone! If you're not sure who you're influencing - or how you're influencing them - reflecting on that a bit is worthwhile. You might be surprised about how broad your impact really is. The most basic leadership we do, the most fundamental influence we have, is in our daily interactions and how we show up, both outside of work and inside it. And they affect each other. The worldviews we hold about people in general carry through to how we treat strangers, which in turn affects our friends, our co-workers, and the teams we lead.

The good news is this: we don't have to be perfect to be good. Trying to do good is in fact good. Simply being conscious about how we show up the next time that ref (inevitably) blows the call, might be a pretty good place to start.

"Points of Impact" is a weekly publication expressing thoughts on how we might approach our work differently to have a better impact on others and the world. For more related perspectives, check out Impact with Love: Building Business for a Better World.