Influencing is selling

As a leader, you’re selling a vision or an idea, an initiative or a change.

It makes sense then that, if you want to improve your leadership influence, it helps to understand what great salespeople do, and it’s probably NOT what you think.

Back in the noughties, I used to coach consultants on winning business. Their biggest blocks to success were always their negative beliefs and assumptions about selling. I would ask them "What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a salesperson?" and they'd answer with a list of words which essentially boiled down to:

• Pushy
• Manipulative
• Talkative
• Selfish
• Arrogant

What an unattractive and unhelpful list of adjectives. Who among us wants to hone a skill that's going to make them more of an arse? Crucially, it's also the polar opposite of how great salespeople behave.

Here’s a more accurate and helpful model of what great sales actually entails:

Great Sales = Belief in what you’re selling + desire to be of service + curiosity.

A quick thought experiment before we continue: If we listened to a great sales conversation what percentage of time do you think we'd hear the salesperson being curious?

What do you think? 30% curious? 50% curious?

In my experience great salespeople spend around 70% of their time being curious, asking questions and thinking about their stakeholder's world, needs and drivers. Influential leaders seem to do the same.

Don’t take my word for it though. Think about the most influential people you know - how much time do they spend thinking, asking questions and listening? How many of their messages are focussed on the audience's needs and aspirations? Conversely, think about the people you know who spend all their time lecturing and soliloquising. How influential are they? When someone comes into a meeting and holds forth on their grand idea and why it’s so brilliant, how soon do you switch off and start thinking about what’s for dinner?

The 5Ps model we discussed in the last post explains why this is so. It’s only when you’ve spent enough time understanding why your audience would care (Promise), the challenges they have that your idea can solve (Pain) and what would make your idea a big win for them (Pleasure), that they even begin to care about why your idea is a good one (Proof) and what you want them to do next (Proceed to Action). And NONE of that will work if you've not spent enough time building rapport and trust.

Your Leadership Experiment

Think of a situation where you want to influence an individual or a group.

How much time have you spent being curious?

What 5 questions could ask yourself or your audience to enhance your influence?

Here are some ideas to start you off: What keeps them up at night? What are their fears? What are their hopes? How do they feel? What do they need from you? How could you make their life easier? Why do they care about what you have to say? What's in it for them? What do they hope happens? What do they hope doesn't happen? What's their biggest block to success? How can you be of service?

Don’t forget, often the most critical question to ask is ‘How is your rapport and what could you do to improve it?’