Be an Influencer!

If you knew someone was wielding tactics to effectively persuade you to understand their perspective, would you feel manipulated and controlled?

No need, as powerful influencing skills are a competency of emotional intelligence, and a terrific skill set to develop. If done well, powerful influencers can?spur individuals and teams to action, moving them from feeling stuck and/or unmotivated to achieving stretch goals. Influencing and inspiring others can create team dynamics which?fuel?success. Specifically, we're talking about brandishing effective behaviors?which, through respect (not coercion), convince others to be of a similar mindset or to join you in your?viewpoint on a particular issue, a necessary and much-sought-after leadership skill set.?

?“There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.” ― Brian Tracy

Have you noticed that to accomplish most anything in life, we often need the help of others in some shape or form? You know the phrase, "Many hands make light work." Utilizing the strengths of others can give leaders a break from having to depend on their superpowers alone. Powerful?influencing skills help you manage and lead more effectively, gain confidence, move you?more directly toward your strategic objectives,?achieve results,?honing?your ability to manage conflict.?Timelines are better met. Productivity is improved and employee engagement is increased.

"Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It's about impact, influence and inspiration. Impact involves getting results, influence is about spreading the passion you have for your work, and you have to inspire teammates and customers." ― Robin Sharma

?

What does it mean to be a Powerful Influencer?

Psychologist Peter Coleman has conducted a number of studies on the power of persuasion. He notes, "Presenting people with information about an issue in a nuanced way, rather than presenting them with pro-con arguments laid out in a simplified manner, can lead people to have more complex and satisfying conversations about contentious issues."?[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/words-matter/201810/why-people-ignore-facts]

Those?who are strong in this competency of emotional intelligence are good listeners?are?clever, adept storytellers. They are able to capture the attention of their audience and provide information in a way that the listeners want to hear more. They are?skilled at winning people over and have a number of strategies with which to do so. They know how to round up supporters?and?can effectively make their point in a way that others want buy-in.?[ISEI Coaching Toolkit, Belsten, 2010]

There are six principles of persuasion, developed by psychologist Robert Cialdini. These skills have been proved effective in both business schools and in the boardroom.?They are:?

??Reciprocity:?That desire to want to give back to someone who has provide you with something

??Scarcity:?When something is considered to be in short supply, people want it more (think toilet paper in 2019!)

??Authority:?When a credible expert speaks on a topic, people tune in

??Consistency:?This shows up as alignment between values and behaviors

??Likability:?People are more likely to be influenced by those who are??complimentary, cooperative, and positive

??Consensus:?We tend to make choices that are popular and liked by others

[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/persuasion]

Which one of the above is a strength of yours? Which one could use some work?

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” ―?Albert Schweitzer

Emotional Validation

Whether we're?hanging out with friends, or doing your best to persuade your team members that your idea is a good one, or trying to convince your teenager of your viewpoint,?we?engage in some form of influencing almost daily. Think of the last time you were?describing something that happened to you. You most likely not only wanted?the listener to understand the event but possibly even feel what you were feeling...and have them leave the discussion in agreement that your feelings were valid. On the contrary, think back on a past argument -- did you want the other person to think you were right? Were the statements you made efforts?to convince them of that?

It seems emotions have an important role to play in our ability to influence others.?

From verywellmind.com, in response to the question, "Why do people want emotional validation?", author Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault says this: "People need to feel that their feelings matter and that others truly hear what they're saying. Emotional validation makes us feel accepted. An emotionally validated person typically can regulate their own emotions appropriately and self-soothe when feelings threaten to overwhelm."?[https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-validation-425336]

As an example, a study in 2014 analyzed 19 million Twitter posts, and concluded that the platform users were "more influenced by stronger emotions expressed by people in their social network compared to weaker and calmer reactions. They also found that when Twitter users responded to tweets that were similar in emotional intensity to their earlier reactions, the users amplified their emotions to express stronger outrage than others in their social network."??[https://news.stanford.edu/2019/06/13/examining-peoples-emotions-influenced-others/]

"Effective leaders don’t just command; they inspire, persuade, and encourage. Leaders tap the knowledge and skills of a group, point individuals toward a common goal and consensus, and draw out a commitment to achieve results." -- Leading Effectively Staff at the Center for Creative Leadership?

?

Honing your Influencing Skills

The Center for Creative Leadership?outlines four skill sets?needed to exercise powerful?influence:

• Organizational Intelligence:?Being aware of political forces at work and leading in accordance with them
• Team Promotion:?Directing your mindset toward developing your teams, as opposed to being self-focused
• Trust-Building:?Doing more of the things which build trust, and fewer of the things which break trust down
• Leveraging Networks:?Building strong bonds and connections with others so you can lean into them as a resource as-needed

[https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/4-keys-strengthen-ability-influence-others/]

Strong?influencing skills also require good communication?skills -- and these can be learned, and chances are, you’ve already developed a good many. Here are some ways to get started:

• Determine the opportunities ahead of you in which you want to exercise influence
• Outline any possible hurdles which may slow down or limit your influence. Exercise self-awareness in understanding your own personal limitations. If you're not sure, ask a trusted friend or colleague.
• Imagine?the positive outcomes which may?result from your influence. What is it?you hope to achieve?
• Identify the people with which you want to exercise influence and learn?what motivates?them.?Work on your empathy and active listening skills.
• Create environments where you can connect with those you want to influence, in and out of the office.?Work hard to build bonds with others and find common ground.
• Use inspiration. People are moved by meaningful, relatable stories. Don't be afraid to be authentic and share emotions.
• Exercise a good balance between being assertive and taking the back seat.??In other words, stay aware of when to make suggestions and when to ask questions.
• Craft your message clearly and concisely, and frame it in a way that will make sense to your audience. Appeal to their motivations.
• As needed, add credibility to your ideas by incorporating stats, endorsements, articles, data from those who are authorities on the topic.
• Consider enlisting the help of a?social and emotional intelligence coach.

Don't underestimate the impacts of your influencing skills. You never know how the impact you make on others will influence the impact they make on others --and so on, and so on.

"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects." – Dalai Lama