To influence people, make 1 key change in how you talk
This is a snippet from the weekly CNBC Make It Work newsletter, written by Ashton Jackson.
Growing up, I hated asking questions. As someone who excelled academically, I felt like asking for help
This carried on into college until I had to take a fundamental algebra and trigonometry class. I probably would have failed if I hadn’t gotten over my fear of looking unintelligent. I wish I’d known earlier that posing queries in these situations can actually make you seem smarter, according to communication expert
“Asking a question puts you in a position of power,” says Abrahams, a Stanford University lecturer. “I can actually raise my status and lower your status when I ask a challenging question.”
Doing so “demonstrates you care, it demonstrates empathy, it demonstrates you’re willing to learn and, in some cases, admit you don’t know everything,” he adds. “Those are all valuable tools and assets to have when you’re trying to grow your career
Good questions contain three elements, says Abrahams:
? They’re concise, so the listener doesn’t get distracted.
? They build on what the other person has said — furthering the conversation, rather than paraphrasing or summarizing it.
? They revolve around a focused idea, or the conversation topic’s “bottom line."
Above all else, listen to other people before asking them anything, Abrahams says.
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“Anytime you are listening, you’re doing yourself a service. You are showing the other person you’re here,” he says. Then your question is more likely to feel like you’re “inviting the other person to collaborate, and solving the problem [together] helps you foster that relationship in the long term.”
I now ask questions all the time — not just for work, but to learn more about the different people around me. Moreover, I’m less worried about what other people think. I know that I’m intelligent, and that asking questions will only make me smarter.?
Check out the full story for Abrahams' best tips on how to practice asking questions.
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1 个月A professional talk will be taken by others, become an AI product... Social gaslighting is even horrible
Product/UX Designer, Mobile/Web
2 个月Socrates asked too many questions, and he got killed for it. Another method of rational examination is simple debate (“make mistakes faster”) —if people aren’t afraid to make mistakes and can be open to correction
Great perspective! Calling the attention of Bob Tiede who has the same perspective on QUESTIONS!
Business Leader & Entrepreneur/Consultant/Business Strategy/Tactical Leader/Wealth Management Investor/People Leader & Mentor/Expert Collaborator
2 个月Agree with the majority of the perspectives shared. Listening and asking questions is really important and adds value in so many ways which can advance projects, strategy, planning, talent development, engagement, risk management and collaboration (not meant to be all-inclusive). The only caution, “know your audience and culture of the organization”. Unfortunately, people in leadership roles may not appreciate questions especially if they receive the questions as, “your challenging my authority or the objectives of the organization”. Even if, the intent was honest to seek understanding and/or guidance. I’ve seen this happen and it became feedback during annual talent calibration sessions. Most high performing teams are open to continuous improvement, learning and open collaboration with high levels of trust.
Chief Executive Officer | Online News @ Media One News
2 个月The best question to ask in order to help fellow citizens understand what they are witnessing is... 1. How have advancements in technology, such as social media and online news platforms, contributed to the increased polarization and personal attacks in politics? 2. How have changes in media consumption habits and the rise of social media platforms influenced the nature and intensity of political discourse? 3. How have changes in media consumption habits, particularly the rise of social media and online echo chambers, contributed to the deepening of political divisions and the escalation of personal attacks?