Influence: Mastering Life’s Most Powerful Skill

Professor Ken Brown restored my faith in humanity. He created 12 lectures for a Great Courses program with the same title as this article, and I called him up to ask whether influence and persuasion were really just ways to manipulate others.

Thankfully, he had a great answer for me. Ken started with a quick overview.

"If you are a good person with good intentions and you explain what you are trying to get accomplished in a way that appeals to the interests of the people you are trying to persuade, you are 90% of the way there."

In other words, influence isn't about employing tricks and techniques to get people to do what you want. It involves caring about them and being highly competent in doing what you promised.

Ken continued, "This is a detail that tends to get lost among all the talk about the nature of your handshake, the importance of eye contact and the like: If you are genuine, you are going to do most of the things right."

If you actually listen to others and remember what they say, you will be able to have an influence on their thoughts and actions. This is not because you are a manipulator, but because you are demonstrating genuine interest, concern, and understanding.

Ken explains the need for his course by saying that there are numerous ways you can present yourself and an argument. He assumes you want to get a fair deal for yourself and to make a positive impact on the world. If you present yourself in a manner that resonates with your audience,  you are likely to get a better outcome.

To offer an example, Ken developed what he calls the ATTiC model. It summarizes the key elements present during any attempt at influence:

To illustrate, let's think for a minute about what happens here on LinkedIn. Too many professionals fail to define the Targets they are trying to influence with their LinkedIn profile, updates, and articles. They also fail to understand the context of such influence attempts. As a result, they use overly general language and draw little - if any - attention. For example, if you say "top marketing consultant" in your headline, that means nothing, because "marketing consultant" is a vague term at best.

Are you a consultant for small, medium or large companies. What industries do you serve? What kind of marketing do you do? 

Ken's model helps you get specific. But it still brings you back to his fundamental point: do the right things to help your "targets". Grow meaningful relationships, and treasure them. 

Remember this: when considering new relationships, whether online or offline, people tend to form first impressions in 15 to 30 seconds. That's how long you have to grab their attention in a positive manner. Only then do you stand a chance of influencing what happens next.

Professor Kenneth G. Brown is Professor of Management and Organizations and Research Fellow in the Henry B. Tippie College of Business at The University of Iowa.

Bruce Kasanoff is a ghostwriter and coach for a wide range of accomplished professionals.