You can be a Smart Connector too......

The Smart Connector is a book, podcast and movement dedicated to entrepreneurial and business relationship success.

So I thought I'd write this article about the skills of influence, persuasion and connection.

Let's look at at how you can use these skills to become a more successful and personally powerful version of yourself.

Practising these skills will impact your business success, but they'll also help you get what you want in life too. 

Always be clear about your purpose, or others will use you for theirs.

People are always going to be open to influence and persuasion, because it’s human nature to want to build a ‘tribe’ of aspirational, like minded individuals, who resonate with our values and outlook on the world.

In business, as well as life, at some point, you may meet some predatory and unethical people who will look to use you, without caring about the impact this has on you. At least that's been my experience, as well as many others I know. Getting better at influence and persuasion will help you achieve your purpose, and stop you from falling into other people's - when it's not in your best interests.

Robert Cialdini

The principles this article looks at were first established by the psychologist and granddaddy of Influence and Persuasion, Robert Cialdini, in his famous book - Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion.The book was based on a thirty-five year career of rigorous, evidence-based research, and a three-year program of study. It’s sold over three million copies and has been translated into thirty languages. It’s a New York Times Best Seller, and Fortune lists it as one of their ‘75 Smartest Business Books’, so it’s an undisputed business classic.

It’s really important in business and marketing to understand why people say 'yes' — and to know how to apply this knowledge. Ever since the book’s publication, Cialdini’s theories have been referenced by all the leading advertising and marketing agencies globally to sell and market their clients products. 

One limitation of the book is that it was written in 1984, well before the digital age we now live in. Although it’s based on human psychology, and therefore eternally powerful and relevant, the case studies belong to a different era. So in this article I’m also going to look at ways we can make his theories relevant to our business needs today.

Why is influence and connection so important for entrepreneurs?

As an entrepreneur, you’re likely to be action orientated, with great ideas, intelligence and a passion for your business. But for long term success you must also learn the art of influencing others. 

Relationships aren't found, they're built.

Think of business relationships like dating. The weakest 'daters' are those who go out into the world believing that someone's going to magically come along and 'complete' them. They're thinking in terms of what they'll get, rather than what they can give. They're passive rather than pro-active.

It's the same with bad bosses. Employees don't come along perfect and fully formed: the best managers take responsibility for the training, development and progress of others. But they also choose carefully - prioritising those who are open to influence.

Influence is a concept that is at the heart of business and marketing success. It makes people take action in accordance with your desires. It makes you resonate for them in a way that inspires action. It moves them to buy from you, and aligns them with your mission and goals without you having to push them in an overtly salesy way.

Influence is not awareness

Influence is different from awareness in that it’s not just about people knowing who you are. It makes them actively want to engage with you, in the belief that by doing so, their lives will be wealthier, healthier or happier. 

Entrepreneurs who lack influence can be better than their competition in many ways, but they’ll lose out to others if they don’t master these skills.

Today, opportunity exists on a massive scale, for entrepreneurs to influence thousands or even millions of potential buyers. Get it right, and your millions of customers will exchange millions of their pounds, dollars or Euros for the ‘value vouchers’ you’re delivering to them in return. So influence is the key to wealth as well as your dream life. 

We’re going to look at the 6 pillars of influence and how they can build your success. These are: Reciprocity, Commitment and Consistency, Social Proof, Liking, Authority andScarcity.

Principle 1: Reciprocity – Returning the Favour.

When someone gives us something we feel obliged to give something back. Think of it in simple terms – we get invited to dinner at someone’s house, and bring a bottle of wine or bunch of flowers. We invite our friend’s children on an outing and their parents invite ours back.

Help others to get what they want and need, and they'll help you to get what you want and need too.

Let’s look at how this can work in a business setting. Take the example of networking. People are there to meet others they can do business with. So if there’s someone you want to influence, the best way to do it is to find out what type of person they are looking to find, and generate an introduction - at or after the event. Facilitate an important relationship, and you’ll become associated in your target's mind with the opportunity you’ve created for them. You become elevated above others in their mind, and become someone they want to help too.

The same principle can work online for you. For example, if you offer your leads a free consultation or a valuable piece of content, there’s a good chance people will be more open to hearing about your services in return.

This is what I did my Smart Connector book launch. I invited selected followers of mine to join my closed Advance Reader Smart Connector Facebook group,  and offered them the chance to read 3 chapters of my book for free. Having ‘given’ them this, I then had ‘permission’ to ask them to buy my book at the time limited discount launch price of ￡0.99.

Since the discount was also a form of ‘gift’, I next asked them to leave a review on Amazon. Which most of them did.  As a thank you for their support, I then offered them an online Zoom masterclass, which was very well attended. At the end of the masterclass I offered the unique opportunity to work with me on an invitation only basis for 3 months, again at a significant discount. Without this being a cynical or unethical exercise, I drew my followers into my 'sales funnel' by offering perceived value, multiple times. And you can do the same.

To summarise, there are three elements that will make Reciprocity most effective:

• Offer something first – allow your targets to feel indebted to you. In the above example it started with 3 chapters of my book.
• Offer something exclusive – allow them to feel special – it’s ‘just for you’. The group was closed rather than public.
• Personalise the offer – make sure they know it’s from you to them, and that they matter to you as individuals. Subscribers were invited individually by me.

Principle 2: Commitment and Consistency – we stick with the things we’ve chosen 

 We’re bombarded with choices to make every day. For convenience, and also because we don’t like change, we tend to  make a single decision and then stick to it for our subsequent choices. We align ourselves constantly with certain people, brands or companies, and even when we’re presented with evidence that it’s unhelpful to us, we find it hard to change.

Think about the food you eat, for example. Do you consider a different breakfast choice every day, or do you eat exactly the same thing, week in, week out? I certainly do! (at the moment it’s a protein shake with spinach or kale, fruit and seeds – the day doesn’t always end as healthily!) We’re creatures of habit, which is why we can only to break unhealthy ones by putting new ones in their place.

Have you ever wondered why people in destructive, toxic relationships stay, for years or even decades? It’s because we humans are hardwired for commitment and consistency. Once something becomes a habit, we naturally resist change. 

This is important to understand when it comes to brand or customer loyalty. The way tomake this principle work for you in business is to make your customers commit to something, whether it’s a statement, a stand, or an identity. If you think about famous taglines of the big brands: Heineken: ‘Refreshes the parts other beers can’t reach’, Nike wants us to: ‘Just do it’, Skittles invites us to: ‘Taste the rainbow.’ This is drawing us into a story and stance that we align with. Because we’re all looking for meaning, constantly.

Here are three ways to get the Commitment and Consistency principle to work for you in business:

• Ask your customers to start from small actions – so they’ll be more likely to stick with you. For example, get them to make a very small purchase. Or agree to a short and low key coffee at their preferred location.
• Encourage public commitments – they’ll be less likely to back out. You can see this in action, for example, when training companies put on taster days. You may have noticed the trainers who ask the audience whether they’d ‘like more wealth and financial freedom’. YESSSSS! Put up your hand! You won’t like to be the one sitting down with your hands stubbornly in your pockets!!
• Reward your customers for investing time and effort in your brand. So find ways of saying thank you, giving them attention and making them feel valued. Just as I did with my book launch.

More ways to get Commitment and Consistency to work for you:

• Understand who your customer is. Create an avatar (detailed ideal customer profile) if that helps. Then, create statements and value propositions that speak directly to them. Next, ask for one small action, which will pave the way to future bigger actions. Here are some actions that you can ask for:
• Ask for a like or follow on social media. If a person follows you on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, they’ll be exposed to your brand and they’ve therefore made a small commitment to you. 
• Watch a video. If someone’s invests their time in watching your video, they have made a commitment. Video is a great way to get someone to make a small commitment.
• Ask for contact information. When someone provides an email address, a name, a phone number, or other information, they’re creating small commitments that can lead them to greater commitment later on. 
• Ask for a short scheduled phone call, and make it about them, not about you. “I noticed that (insert fact)……and I thought I might be able to help……”

Principle 3: Social Proof Principle - We believe what we’re told by others.

Have you ever wondered how the top social media influencers have got to be so powerful and well paid?

It’s because of the principle of social proof. People are more likely to endorse a product or service or to perform a certain behaviour that’s already been endorsed by someone they trust, whether it’s friends, family, or an expert in the industry.

This is why one of the most powerful persuasive techniques used today comes in the form of social influence…and why ‘influencers’ are able to earn massive fees from the brands who sponsor them.

Social proof can come from the following sources

• Experts – Approval from credible experts in your field
• Celebrities – Approval or endorsements from celebrities who people like to align themselves with
• Users – Approval from current/past users (ratings, reviews and testimonials)
• ‘Wisdom of crowds’ – Approval from large groups of people
• Peers – Approval from friends and people you know

When you’re looking for a book to read on Amazon, do you read the reviews before buying? This is social proof in action. 77% of book buyers use reviews to help them make a decision. We look to others to guide our behaviour and warn us of what’s right or wrong. Therefore, adding a ‘Reviews’ or ‘Testimonials’ section to your website, or starting a social media page where users leave recommendations is a great way to bring social proof into your business

Social proof is a massive part of online marketing today. People buy, see, and do what other people buy, see and do.

So to use social proof you should:

• Use testimonials. Testimonials are one of your greatest weapons in marketing. Use them freely and powerfully. This is influence at its finest.
• Get social media likes and followers. If people know that your business or personal brand has a serious following, they’ll be more likely to respond to the social proof that accompanies it.
• Create content that gets commented on. If you’re doing content marketing, generate posts to get feedback. Lots of discussion around your content marketing pieces will inspire social action. Even controversial posts help build your brand. But stay away from negativity or online arguments. Be mindful of your personal brand and be seen as someone who’s peaceful and a champion of others.

Principle 4: Liking –We’re more likely to accept requests from people we like.

For whatever reason, people we like have more perceived credibility than those that we do not like. People we like often have similar beliefs, interests, and language as we do. 

This explains why we trust recommendations from our peers, as well as things that are endorsed by our favourite singers, actors, social media influencers, or bloggers. 

Liking people has a tremendous impact on how we make decisions. Marketers who understand this have greater influence and persuasion over their target audience.

The following factors make the liking principle work:

• Physical appeal – Make your website and brand materials well-designed, functional and relevant to  what you’re selling. If you’re the personal brand, put effort into your appearance and how you show up. You don't have to look like an instagram model or actor, unless you are one! A nice background can go a long way in photos or videos. A scene in nature, or an aspirational indoor setting. Remember people like novelty. They’ll get bored by blank walls or seeing you in the same place over and over again.
• Similarity – Behave like a friend, not a brand. Show people that you can relate to, and understand them, by behaving in a more familiar way. By talking to them as if they already know you, intimately. Talk about your day, your feelings, little random things that happened to you. Don’t just sell, sell, sell.
• Compliments – Get a reputation for noticing and complimenting the small things about other people that many would overlook. Be a supporter of others, especially if they support you. Comment on their posts and thank them for their likes and follows. If you ignore them, or if the balance tips in favour of you over-selling, they’ll turn away.
• Alignment and Cooperation – Fight for the same causes, or support the same views, as your customers. Nothing builds rapport and closeness like teamwork.

And always remember - People say yes to those they like.

How connection helps negotiation.

Liking improves the outcome of negotiations. In a series of studies carried out between MBA students at two well-known business schools, some groups were told, “Time is money. Get straight down to business.” In this group, 55% were able to come to an agreement.

A second group was told, “Before you begin negotiating, exchange personal information. Identify one thing you share in common before negotiating.” In this group, 90% of them were able to come to successful and agreeable outcomes, that were typically worth 18% more to both parties. In other words, the win-win outcome was elevated.

Others way you can get people to like you include: Using their name. Listening far more than you talk. Touching them lightly on the arm. ‘Mirroring’ their body language – although don’t do this in a staged way otherwise they’ll think you’re weird! Laughing and smiling in their presence. And of course, eye contact.

Principle 6: Authority - We follow people who know what they’re doing.

This holds especially true in fields where we aren’t experts.

Why?

It’s easier to trust an authority figure in the field than it is to do your own research. We look to authority figures for guidance and shortcuts.We all love to follow the lead of credible, knowledgeable experts.

You’ll see this in a lot of online marketing with headlines and blog posts that include phrases like: “experts say” or “research shows”.

You can create authority through:

• Titles – Positions of power/experience. Founder or CEO is still OK to use - even if you’re a solopreneur.
• Clothes and physical appearance – Superficial cues that signal authority – uniforms, suits, heels, polished shoes, make up on women. 
• Trappings – Accessories/indirect cues that accompany authoritative roles - expensive jewellery or watches, white, straight teeth, flashy cars, designer glasses and so on. It’s been proven that people tend to be taken more seriously if they ‘look the part’.
• Tone of voice –express yourself in a confident and assertive way. Make sure your message is laser clear. Try not to hesitate or falter as this introduces doubt. It’s hard to do, but you can practise public speaking or videos until you get your performance to a more polished level. 

Content –like this article, good content will highlight your expertise and help you acquire authority.

As humans, we tend to obey authority figures with barely a second thought. Many experiments have proved that, even in situations where the subject knows that what an authority figure is asking them to do is wrong, they’ll still continue. 

Medical therapists know more patients follow their advice if they put their medical diplomas on the walls of their consulting rooms. One study even showed that people are more likely to give change for a parking meter to a stranger if they’re wearing a uniform rather than casual clothes.

Always get others to show or say why you’re a credible, knowledgeable expert. Instead of bragging about how brilliant you are, arrange for someone else to do it for you. 

Get others to emphasise your credentials

One study involved a group of estate agents who were able to increase both the number of property viewings, and the number of sales they made by arranging for the front line staff who answered customer enquiries to discuss their colleagues’ credentials and expertise.

So, customers interested in letting a property were told “Lettings? Let me connect you with Sandra, who has over 15 years’ experience letting properties in this area.” Customers who wanted more information about selling properties were told “Speak to Peter, our head of sales. He has over 20 years’ experience selling properties. I’ll put you through now.”

The impact of this expert introduction led to a 20% rise in the number of appointments and a 15% increase in the number of signed contracts. 

If you have a well-defined niche, you can be the foremostauthority in that niche. This is why niche is so important to today’s marketing. And why micro-niches are gaining popularity. A micro-niche is a highly defined and narrow area of expertise. For example, the “over 50 single handicap golf coach”. 

Principle 7: Scarcity – We want things that are exclusive and hard to come by.

We’re conditioned to assume that things that are difficult to obtain are better than those that are easily available. If you have children, you may notice how the long neglected teddy becomes the most desirable toy, worthy of endless battles, once another child picks it up and decides to cuddle it?

The principle of scarcity draws upon this innate human instinct by creating a sense of urgency.

You can learn to trigger your customers’ sense of urgency with these methods:

• Limited-number – Item is in short supply and won’t be available once it runs out.
• Limited-time – Item is only available during that time period.
• One-of-a-kind Specials – Sometimes utilize one or both of the above techniques. Also from one-off events (e.g. collaborations, anniversaries)
• Competitions – We want things more because other people also want them – this works brilliantly in auctions or bids.

Sales and limited time offers create a sense of scarcity and urgency, leading consumers to reconsider leaving their buying decision until later. 

The scarcity principleis easy to implement online. Make an offer, but then pull it back with a “we’re-running-out” message. Here are some ways to do this:

• Put a deadlineon your offer. If it’s a webinar, for example, tell users that signup is closing on Wednesday at midnight. If it’s a flash sale, put an expiry date on it.
• Limit numbers. You can declare your webinar will be capped at 50 attendees. Your sale is limited to the first 10 buyers.
• Make an event by invitation only– making them feel they have to compete to go. It’s personalised and exclusive and they’ve had to make the effort.

Scarcity doesn’t need to be a reality. People simply need to think that something is scarce in order to be compelled to act.

However it is important that you maintain congruence in the eyes of your customers. Don’t tell them this is the last time you will ever be running an event, only to repeat it a month later!

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Connection – linked to the Liking Principle.

Let’s move on to the power of connection. Connection is personal. It makes others feel like they’re engaging with a valued friend they’ve known for years. Like influence, connection is linked to trust. It helps you be heard and understood. A conversation with someone you feel deeply connected to will flow freely and easily. People who feel connected will speak openly about their thoughts, pain and dreams. They won’t filter anything out – why would they? 

Most important of all, connection makes people like you and - like influence – accept you. And as one of my favourite authors and researchers Brene Brown says:“We are hardwired to connect with others. It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” 

People will always choose to do business with others they like and feel connected to.

Is it possible for entrepreneurs to generate this unique feeling of connection today, with social media generating more superficial relationships and shorter attention spans than ever before? The answer is YES. And the way to do it is not through rehearsed, win/lose sales patter. It’s through authentic and congruent communication. Treating people as if they were a valued friend already!

Entrepreneurs often build connection through presentations and public speaking. But this can often feel like a stretch – because it’s in front of many people they’ve never met before. Even more challenging, building connection through the powerful medium of social media video involves entrepreneurs speaking into a camera to people they’ll likely never meet face to face, so they don’t even get the benefit of audience engagement. 

There’s risk in ‘putting yourself out there’. If your audience doesn’t trust or engage with you quickly, they’ll tune out, and the opportunity to connect will be lost, often permanently. Is it any wonder so many entrepreneurs hold back on the very thing that could build their business most quickly? Authentic connection requires you to communicate your message fast, clearly and in a way that truly resonates with others. As you communicate about your topic or business, your content (and your delivery) must be true, useful, interesting, and compelling enough to inspire your audience to action. 

If you’re serious about connection, you won’t want people to just know who you are. You’ll want them to care. Even more than that, you’ll want them to do something about it, such as engage with you, and make choices based on what they see and hear from you.

I care so passionately about influence and connection that I founded my ‘Smart Connector’ business on these principles. If you’d like to learn more, I’m offering, as a special bonus for my readers, a one off ‘by application’ opportunity to work with me 1:1 for a trial 3 month period at 50% of my normal rate, to help you become the most powerful and connected version of you.

Why am I doing this? Because I want and need more advocates who can testify for the power of my programme. I am only taking on five of these mentees in 2019, so if you want to be considered for this opportunity please book a Calendly call via my website janebayler.com. 

Well I couldn't really end this article without attempting some influence and connection too, could I?

Thank you for reading my article, and I hope to see you soon!