Influence with Confidence: A Coaching Perspective

In the domain of business and leadership, the ability to influence others is critical. Influence is about inspiring and motivating others to take positive action which is highly valued as a leadership trait. And yet, it is an area where most leaders that we coach express the least confidence.

The essence of leadership is relationship; influencing people to achieve things together that cannot be achieved alone. Leonard Sweet.

Leaders may lack the confidence to influence others for a variety of reasons, each rooted in personal experiences, perceptions, and external factors. Understanding these reasons can help leaders identify areas for growth and develop strategies to enhance their confidence and influence in a coaching situation. There are two areas that leaders want to know more about: influencing others authentically and increasing their influence without being manipulative or coercive.

In this article, we provide an overview of some of the reasons why leaders express a lack of confidence regarding influencing and discuss some strategies that we have used to build influencing as a leadership trait in coaching.

1. Reasons for a lack of Confidence

Here are some common reasons why leaders might struggle with confidence in their ability to influence:

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a "fraud." Leaders experiencing imposter syndrome may feel that they are not genuinely qualified for their role, leading to a lack of confidence in their ability to influence others. They may attribute their success to luck rather than their skills and strengths.

Lack of Experience

Leaders, especially those who are new to their roles, may feel uncertain about their abilities due to a lack of experience. Without a track record of successful influence, they may doubt their capacity to guide and inspire others effectively.

Fear of Rejection or Criticism

The fear of being rejected or criticized can significantly impact a leader's confidence. If leaders are overly concerned about how others will perceive them or their ideas, they may hesitate to assert themselves and influence others, fearing negative feedback or pushback.

Unclear Vision or Purpose

Leaders who lack a clear vision or sense of purpose may struggle to influence others. Without a strong understanding of their goals and the direction they want to take, it can be challenging to inspire and motivate others to follow their lead.

Perceived Lack of Skills

Some leaders may feel they lack the necessary skills to influence others effectively. This perception can stem from a lack of training, education, or development in areas such as communication, negotiation, or emotional intelligence.

Negative Past Experiences

Previous negative experiences, such as failed initiatives or conflicts with team members, can erode a leader's confidence. These experiences can create self-doubt and make leaders hesitant to assert their influence, fearing similar outcomes in the future.

High Expectations and Pressure

Leaders often face high expectations and pressure to perform. The weight of these expectations can be daunting, leading to self-doubt and a lack of confidence in their ability to meet them and influence others effectively.

Cultural or Organizational Barriers

In some organizations or cultures, certain leadership styles or traits may be undervalued or discouraged. Leaders who do not fit the dominant mold may feel less confident in their ability to influence others within that context.

2. Strategies to Build Confidence

One of the most effective ways to influence others is by understanding why people follow you. They follow you because you meet their needs. And by understanding and utilizing your unique abilities to meet their needs, a leader can overcome the barriers to influencing and build the confidence to become a more effective leader that creates lasting impact.

Influence is the emotional connection with others that drives action. The greater the connection, the greater the level of trust. (HBR, 2020).

By building trust, showing stability, demonstrating compassion and inspiring hope, a leader can express influence by building the relational connections with others that inspire positive action. Here are some ways that can be used to build the relational capital needed for influencing.

Identify Your Strengths

The first step in using your strengths to influence others is to identify what those strengths are. Strengths are the innate qualities and abilities that you naturally excel at and enjoy using. There are several ways to identify your strengths:

1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your past experiences. What activities make you feel energized and fulfilled? What tasks do you excel at without much effort?
2. Feedback from Others: Seek feedback from colleagues, mentors, and friends. They can provide valuable insights into the strengths they observe in you.
3. Strengths Assessments: Utilize tools like the CliftonStrengths assessment or VIA Character Strengths survey to gain a structured understanding of your strengths.

Understand the Impact of Your Strengths

Once you have identified your strengths, it’s essential to understand how they impact your behaviour and interactions with others. Reflect on how your strengths have helped you achieve success and how they have influenced your relationships and leadership style. This self-awareness will enable you to leverage your strengths more effectively.

Communicate Your Strengths

Effective communication is key to influencing others. By clearly articulating your strengths, you can help others understand your unique value and how you can contribute to the team or organization. Here are some tips for communicating your strengths:

1. Be Authentic: Authenticity builds trust. Share your strengths honestly and confidently without exaggeration.
2. Provide Examples: Use specific examples to illustrate how your strengths have led to positive outcomes. This makes your strengths more tangible and relatable.
3. Showcase Your Strengths in Action: Demonstrate your strengths through your actions and decisions. Let others see how your strengths drive your success.

Leverage Your Strengths to Build Relationships

Building strong, positive relationships is fundamental to influencing others. Use your strengths to connect with others on a deeper level:

1. Empathy: If empathy is one of your strengths, use it to understand and relate to others' perspectives and feelings. This fosters trust and rapport.
2. Communication: If you excel in communication, use this strength to convey your vision and ideas clearly and persuasively.
3. Problem-Solving: If you are a natural problem-solver, use this ability to help others overcome challenges, demonstrating your value and reliability.

Inspire and Motivate

Influential leaders inspire and motivate others to achieve their best. Use your strengths to inspire others by:

1. Setting an Example: Lead by example. Your dedication and excellence will motivate others to strive for the same.
2. Encouragement: Use your strengths to recognize and encourage the strengths in others. Acknowledge their contributions and help them see their potential.
3. Vision: Share your vision and enthusiasm. Your passion can be contagious, inspiring others to join you in pursuing common goals.

Adapt and Grow

While leveraging your strengths is important, being adaptable and open to growth is equally crucial. Continually seek opportunities to develop new skills and improve existing ones. This flexibility will enhance your ability to influence others in various situations.

3. Conclusion: Leading with Influence

Influence is an essential aspect of leadership that goes beyond positional authority. It involves inspiring and motivating others, fostering trust and collaboration, and driving both individual and organizational success. In order to do so, leaders need to overcome their personal barriers to influence and discover how they can create the relational capital needed to be influential. Leading with influence is about fostering a collaborative, trust-based environment where team members feel empowered, valued, and motivated.