Influence

Putting my Why into words

February 13, 2019

Forever Darling https://foreverdarling.co.za/putting-my-why-into-words/

This is a blog post my wife wrote and copied it here with her permission.

Discovering my Why has been liberating and frustrating all at once. I feel lucky in way because I only had to wait thirty-six years to realise my true purpose. Some people wait much longer and still others never find out at all. Knowing my true purpose brings with it a freedom and an end to the search. For many years I thought I knew my Why but I always had this nagging tug at my heart and I never felt complete. That’s the key to knowing that you know, it makes you feel complete.

I am passionate about teaching and I consider each child that passes through my classroom one of my own. I have always said that my classroom was my happy place, my retreat and my refuge from life’s obstacles and demands. I took this love for a space and its occupants to mean that teaching was my Why. I have since come to understand that being passionate about a thing doesn’t necessarily make it your Why. As much as I love being in a classroom, surrounded by young people, I have always harboured a void. I have worked hard over the last fourteen years, seeking to improve myself as a teacher but the void remained.

About two years ago an urgency to give second chances to those most deserving rooted itself deep within me. The picture was blurred at first, like a cloud resting in a ravine. (You know the ravine is there, deep and bursting with life but hidden beneath a white blanket.) I knew that what I felt was an urgency and I knew the moment it was birthed who it was for, I just couldn’t see the details. It’s taken two years for the cloud to dissipate and the beauty of my Why to reveal itself.

Photo credit: TripAdvisor

So how do I start my descent into the ravine? I feel unequipped and vulnerable. I’m balancing on a precipice with no tools nor the correct gear and I’m feeling frustrated. Why would I be brought to this point, shown what has been designed for me but left to just look? Why can’t I just leap out in faith? Why am I holding back? The answer is simple. The vastness of my ravine is daunting. I must walk and not leap. I must step carefully from rock to rock, from root to root. I must learn skills, create networks and support systems, acquire the equipment needed for an adventure such as this.

This is my first step, the rock on which I will build my Why. Using words to declare my purpose is for me like securing a root in the ravine. My heart’s desire is that my urgency will develop into words and my words will develop into connections with those who have a similar Why and those connections will become actions and the actions will be the outpouring of gifts and talents and acquired skills.

This is my Why; to create a space where second chances are free in order to prevent lives lost to prostitution, homelessness and addiction. There are too many young girls faced with the horror of the life before them. Their families have failed them, the system has failed them, society has failed them but they are all Jesus’ Darlings and are all deserving of a second chance at living the life He designed for them. My Why is to step in before they miss theirs.

I dream of a home, a grand old place with serene gardens where weary souls can rest and heal and the trees whisper messages of hope and acceptance. A home with feminine touches, rich aromas and warm bubble baths. A home where young women are given the opportunity to make a living for themselves rather than selling themselves. A home where young women are taught skills and trades according to their own dreams and passions rather than how to hussle on a street corner. A home where young women are addicted to a life of prosperity rather than substances to numb the pain.

I know that because this is my true purpose God will connect me to the right people in His perfect time. Patience is, admittedly, not one of my strengths and so as I agonise through the wait I will rest in the assurance that He knows the plans He has for me.