Infertility Series - I was hiding!!!

I wanted to write a series of short articles about some of the personal experiences in my infertility journey.

I was hiding:

• From people because I was afraid of sympathy. The last thing I wanted to hear was- Oh, I am so sorry that this is happening to you!!! I hated when some one who had child through normal pregnancy said, "I know what you are going through!!!" In my mind-- NO- YOU DON'T.. YOU HAVE NO CLUE.. I was frustrated.
• From hearing pregnancy news, baby news or anything to do with children.. I just couldn't take it. I was angry, jealous and miserable.
• From family asking questions like - "Why are you delaying to start a family?" or "Have you tried this XYZ treatment or this doctor? or "Have you been to ABC temple or do AAA ritual?" I even avoided going to see my family in India for the same reasons. I was annoyed.

My 2 cents:

• There are many women among us who are silently going through this. Infertility is not something women come and share in public. Be mindful when you talk about pregnancy or kids- especially when you complain. Some women will give anything to experience those.
• Do not offer sympathy if you know of someone going through infertility. That's the last thing they need. Empathy is much appreciated. Even a simple, "I am here for you" is all needed. Here is a good video from Brene Brown to differentiate empathy and sympathy.
• As a loved one, be cognizant about those certain (intrusive) questions you ask especially to women who hasn't borne any child in a while. Show love and empathy. A good hug will do great magic. Don't make her answer questions that will trigger pain, shame, inadequacy, anger, frustration and misery.

Why am I writing this?

I have been there. Now, I coach women going through infertility to

• Take control & ownership of their lives
• Keep the energy moving forward
• Feel unstuck emotionally

If this is you, or you know of someone going through this, I can help. Reach out to me for a 90 minutes introductory session.

It hurts because it matters - John Green

With Much Gratitude, Pradeepa