Inferior feeling drives growth #2

I am Japanese living in Singapore around 4 years, mainly writing cultural topics. In this time, I am writing my comprehensive self-introduction story in where you can find my sources of thoughts in previous postings in LinkedIn.

This article is the second part(last part) of the story. If you have not read the first one, please find this link to see the first article to start with.

3. Dublin to the sailing around the world and back in Japan

In 2003, I was in Dublin, Ireland where there were only few Japanese people living. It was a right choice to go there to study English language to focus. I did almost speak zero Japanese about one year. I am sure it is very different these days in Dublin but at that time, there were even very few Asian people and I had some uncomfortable experiences even to share as being a minority. It was not only in Ireland but happening everywhere including Japan. However, being minority in terms of ethnicities, language speakers give us very important and irreplaceable experiences and make you more strong.

After acquiring a certain level of English skills, I joined Non governmental organization, which operates the cruise ship sailing around the world as internship English-Japanese interpreter and translator. There were many things to share by this experience but the biggest change through this in my life was to meet my wife there. (She was in the same translation internship team.)

I was about 24 years old and still not working as a full time yet.

Coming back to Japan, started looking for a job in which I could use my English skills. But it was very difficult to find one. In Japan, most of companies were (I hope this is "were", not "are" anymore..but not sure.) not welcoming people like me who spent some time outside of Japan without full time employment experiences. Probably If I were graduating University abroad, it would be different. But I was kind of totally outliner off the track for "people's definition".

"I understand you can speak English.. but you don't have any work experiences. We can not hire you. We need somebody who can start actual work immediately. Why did you not start working after the college (and chose "playing" abroad. This part is not said but implies something like this..)"

That was the summarised response in most of the job interviews and the results.

I went on many interviews and even some jobs did not need any English at all. I know it does not make sense, but it was hard. Almost I felt that I could not find any of jobs except for going back to part time restaurant workers or so. By the way, I am not saying part time restaurant worker is a bad job if somebody is offended by this example.

After many attempts, finally I got a job in a local real estate company in Kobe that operates expatriates' housing brokerage and property management services. I started my career in the industry as a sales person. Luckily the president of the small & medium local company found my English useful to work with clients, non-Japanese executives who lives in Japan.

Around that time about 2005-2007, the real estate industry was merging into the financial industry. It means there were a plenty of foreign capitals that flew into the real estate investment by expanding its presence as private capital market/Private Equity.

There were many real estate funds created and generated a lot of opportunities to work for as more high-end, highly compensated jobs among real estate industry.

I was also one of the persons who thought that it would be better to go for the opportunity. Although I did not have much experience yet but luckily the large US headquartered conglomerate company (real estate arm) hired me as associate as residential asset sales person.

I was flattered to be accepted and happily worked although the job itself was very junior and something everyone could do and did not have a single chance to speak English. It is ironically funny to be since the company was a US company.

But I felt like I got back on track finally. I got back my wasted years and now be same in where other friends were.

However, the time was approaching, that was November 2008.

The financial crisis happened. At the beginning of 2009, I was told : "We do not have a job for you anymore. Here is a programme you can apply for to support finding another job outside the company." This was just one year after I joined the company.

I was only 28 years old. I thought lay-off was the thing only happening to elder people. I realised there was no any other way but to accept it because the financial crisis was something a way bigger event than I could handle. (It turned out that more than half of the people at the office left at the same timing.)

I did not remember how exactly I explained what happened to my wife. I did not specifically mention that I got fired. But I am sure that she understood what exactly happened but she did not ask further to dig into my wounds.

For those who may wonder how this was big event for me.. just to clarify

In Japan, there is quite well enforced employment law to protect workers. It is not very common to fire people immediately. Especially for young people like 20's, it is quite rare to be forced to leave companies within one year like my case. (Please correct me if I am wrong, but I think I am quite right on this.)

"I got off the track again.. what should I do ? "

4. To be a finance person

I got fired in the end of my first year in the US company during the financial crisis. Although it was due to unprecedented historical event, it gave me an impact on thought process about career.

I was a front end solder as a sales person in the real estate fund. I had no idea about where the company was heading to. I only did what I was told to do without knowing why I was doing that.

That was not the only reason why I could not stay in the company. But I was sure that I did not want to be in the position again. I wanted to be in a core part of the company in where I can look at the direction heading or even wanted to be involved in the decision making...namely strategy.

Being more honest.. I wanted to be the position who would fire people rather than being fired if we needed to do. (very honest and blunt way to say.. but don't get me wrong.)

At the same time, since I started working in the real estate investment industry (in PE industry in the big picture), I knew the importance of acquiring corporate finance knowledge or even basic finance knowledge in the first place. Definitively, It is a must to have in order to seek for a strategic planning position.

While looking at how to learn, I came across the qualification of certified public accountant in USA. (USCPA). it requires English skills to begin with. Therefore it made sense for me to target to have this qualification to proof my new skill.

I got it in 2 years while working in a local property management company that luckily I could manage to find the new job as a property manager.

Now it was the time to look for a strategic planning position. The reality was not easy to shift my career area to another which is a finance role. I went on interviews of several different roles but being rejected by the same reason.

"Yes. Understand that you have a qualification. But you do not have experiences so we can not hire you."

Well, this was exactly same as I faced in the past. (See the story chapter 3)

I am kind of repeating this word but "luckily" I could find one opportunity in Singapore headquartered company in Tokyo.

The hiring manager and CFO (at the time) found my experience interesting. "This guy was unique. Like sailing around the world ?"

The position was a FP&A manager that takes care of budget/forecast of the company. (Japan business) and to be the first person as FP&A in the office since the business was much smaller than as it is now.

Yes it was a strategic planning job in general. And they (we ?) were looking for somebody who could have business experiences rather than pure finance person. It means the person who can speak in a same language with business side (front office in some definition) such as sales teams in order to build accurate forecasts of the business profit.

I would recall that I was hesitating to apply this position because the job description seemed a way higher ranked position that I could not really apply for. But if I did not, I would not be writing this now. Just a small action will change the direction of the life by timing and luck.

I won't touch on how I worked in this current company in details but I got promoted to a member of Japan executive committee in 5 years in charge of all finance related area after joined the office.

In 2018 March, I moved to Singapore, a headquarter as global head of business planning which takes care of entire group level strategic planning (in finance perspective).

5. Inferior feeling drives growth

From the beginning of my career stage, I had (or even for now.. I have) some inferior feelings to others.

What if I were taking the same path with others to pursue starting a job right after the college ? What if I went to better university ? (which I believe I could have done that.. nobody proves it though.) What if I were not dreaming to be a musician in the first place ?

Many people say that I do not need to care about those.

I really understand that was a right advice. But as the actual person who had(has) this feeling, it would not be very easy to throw it away immediately. Until only last year (2021), after attending business school (INSEAD) courses and having a career coaching session, I was quite obsessed with what I should have done or should do next to overcome this imposter syndrome type of things. (I am not fully understanding the definition of this syndrome.. so it may not be correct to refer to.)

My coach told me : If you were taking the same path as your friends, you would not be ended up with like this right now. You could go to better school and better companies. But you may have spent your days in boring ordinary life instead. Toyo, You are living in your past.

Thank you for this eye-opening session with him by INSEAD, I could overcame this inferior feeling now. Very ironic thing is that I wanted to attend to top business school somehow to overcome my inferior feeling about my academic background. So I completed some executive education programmes there and now entitled to be an alumni status in the school. But the most valuable thing was to realise that obtaining academic record was not the solution.

But if I look back at my past, the feeling was not necessary a bad thing. I recalled that all those feelings and experiences in the tough time could be some sort of fuel to challenge against the obstacles.

This realization was also another factor to overcome itself.

Now coming to the end of this series of story, I would like to deliver messages to ones who are struggling in their career path in future or "living in the past",

"Comparing to others is nothing. But if you can not stop comparing you to others, you just need to think that it is a source of your power to drive you grow further. "

Actually I may be lost in future again. Then I would like to recall this my own message to myself since I am sure that I am not a perfectly strong person.

*This is the end of the story

Here are some links of other posts and articles.

Cultural topics :

Virial post of Indian foods

Is this a Singapore service culture ?

A collaboration work with Marianna Pascal, ?an intercultural communication specialist, and one of the 40 most popular TED speakers ; Japanese culture, Nemawashi ?

Others :

Interviewed article by EGN (Executives' Global Network in Singapore) about leadership

Interview by Talent Basket, a global marketplace that helps startups, small businesses, and project teams hire top digital marketing interns