Infection: Avoid the Unhappy & the Unlucky

As I re-read through several sections of the 48 Laws of Power, Chapter 10 stuck out. Law 10 Infection: Avoid the unhappy or the unlucky. When you suspect you are in the presence of an infector, don’t argue, don’t try to help, or pass the person on to your friends, or you will become entangled. Instead, Greene suggests that we flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences of the association.

????????As humans, we all have irons in the fire. Some of us have more than others, and many juggle several things simultaneously. Some can handle changing circumstances; adjusting to various moving parts can be challenging for others. Rapid change can increase stress levels that some cannot control, causing nasty attitudes, negative outlooks, and cynicism. Many people are unhappy, regardless of why, and fixing them is not your job. Empaths are more susceptible to carrying burdens that are not theirs to carry. It is not implied that you do not care for friends or family members, but you have only so much to pour out to others.

Who you decide to associate with is critical. By associating with the miserable, you waste your valuable time and drain your potential power. ~Robert Greene

???????Often we give and give, and we have nothing left for ourselves. But, unfortunately, unhappy, unlucky, and miserable people love company. We cannot help people who do not want or feel they need it. It will only frustrate you in the end. Think about a time when you gave your last to someone who did not acknowledge or appreciate you; how did it make you feel? I have done it many times, and I can tell you it did not feel good.

I remember listening to a sermon where the Pastor told a mind-blowing short story; I will share it with you. I am unsure of the author; the title is The Story of the Bind Girl:

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said she would marry her boyfriend if she could only see the world.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her, and she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind also and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears and later wrote a letter to her saying:?“Just take care of my eyes, dear.”

It was such an eye-opening story that correlates to being conscious of the state of mind of others and how they can be infectious. The man in the story took on the burden of blindness to attempt to relieve the perceived misery of a woman he loved, just to be immediately dismissed. Unfortunately, this is how our brain adapts when the status changes at work, at home, or in society. Few remember life before a promotion, weight loss, recovery, or the classic rags to riches stories.

And sadly, those who have always been there, even in the most painful situations, are often underappreciated and overlooked. This is not an absolute but a recurring cycle for many people and situations. So, what is the call to action this week? Glad you asked; I have five things you should look out for when dealing with the unhappy and unlucky:

1.?????As titled, avoid situations and people that are unhappy, unlucky, cumbersome, full of drama, and harmful.

2.?????Do not ignore red flags; typically, where there is smoke, there is fire. If you listen long enough, people will tell and show you who they are and what they stand for, be aware.

3.?????When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Thank you, Maya Angelou.

4.?????If the burdens of others are currently weighing you down, or you are unhappy or unlucky, figure out why and work towards changing your status.

5.?????Let go of the guilt of being the savior or martyr of others; there is no award for carrying loads of others; I promise you, it is liberating to let go!

We all have the same twenty-four hours daily; what you do with your time matters. Likewise, whom you spend your time with is critical to your growth, reputation, and destiny. So hang with the motivated, passionate, and happy.

“You can die from someone else’s misery—emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man, but you only precipitate your disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.” ~Robert Greene