The Inertia of Resistance

It’s been a tough year for me. With the loss of relatives, big tax bills, unexpected changes in our situation, and so on.

During these times, it’s easy to fall into any number of disempowering beliefs.

I’m a failure, I’m doomed, I’m worthless, I will never amount to anything, I’ve peaked, and so on.

These are some of the disempowering thoughts that show up for me, but you will have your own, whatever they happen to be.

The content of these beliefs is not particularly relevant — they’re simply part of what our fear throws up when things are challenging.

It takes some work?to overcome these beliefs. There’s a safety inherent in them.

If I’m a failure, then I’m unlikely to try to do much that’s different, and if I don’t try to do much that is different, then I’m unlikely to confront much more failure.

At least, that’s what the sophisticated mechanism of fear is based on.

These are the times when a lot of the obvious wisdom rings false. Sure, change your mindset, sure, think positive.

But what we don’t often perceive is that there is a gravity to our beliefs.

There is an inertia to shifting what we are believing, and taking actions from that belief.

When the circumstances of our life get challenging, we end up with a lot of what looks like “evidence” for our disempowering beliefs.

“I’m not just being negative! Look at my life — things really are bad. People really are uninterested in what I have to offer!”

The temptation we face is usually to either wallow in the disempowering thoughts we have, or to set them aside and bypass our experience with magical thinking.

Neither of these will work, but ironically we stack them against each other, and use one side to justify hanging out in the other.

Eg, “Look, I’m not going to just smile and paint a turd with glitter. I need to face reality.”

Or, “Look, I can’t focus on those downer things that have happened. I need to stay positive!”

In reality, we need to do both. We have to take stock of what is happening, and find new places to reinvent ourselves, our business, our relationships, and so on. Reinvention is an essential part of our leadership — wherever it is we are leading.

But until we address our disempowering thoughts, any attempt at reinvention will be a reaction to the shitty stories we are telling ourselves.

Sure, maybe the last three jobs you applied for turned you down, but if you make that mean you’re unhireable, and then your solution is to figure out how to avoid having to apply for jobs, you’re really just perpetuating your own crappy story and giving it more gravity.

The way our resistance looks in these moments is an insistence on sticking with our disempowered thoughts, or an unwillingness to turn and look at what is happening.

And in the face of that resistance, we need to take stock and stop our thoughts from running away with us.

Who am I committed to being, outside of the immediacy of my circumstances?

What am I committed to making my life about, regardless of what is happening in this moment?

What action is there for me to take in this moment, in service of the above two answers?

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