Individuation: Becoming Your Truest Self

Who are you? No, really—who are you when no one is watching?

Are you the person shaped by your parents' expectations? By society’s definition of success? By what your teachers, colleagues, or friends think you should be? Or is there a deeper, truer version of you—one that has been buried under years of conditioning?

The process of peeling away these external layers and discovering your most authentic self is what Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called individuation. It’s the journey of becoming whole, of aligning with your true essence instead of living as a reflection of what the world expects you to be.

But this journey isn’t easy. It requires courage. It requires breaking free from the comfortable, stepping away from familiar beliefs, and choosing yourself—fully and unapologetically.

Let me share a story.

There was a man named Arvind, a successful businessman in his late 50s. He had spent his entire life chasing what he thought was the right path—a good business, financial stability, and societal approval. He had done everything by the book.

One day, at a family gathering, his teenage nephew asked him, “Uncle, what’s something you always wanted to do but never did?”

Arvind laughed at first, but then he fell silent. Something about that question unsettled him. He had never really allowed himself to dream beyond what was expected of him. His choices had always been about security, responsibility, and reputation—but never about himself.

That night, he sat down and wrote a list. Things he once loved but had forgotten. Things he wanted to try but never did. Places he wanted to visit but never went.

And he realised—he had been living as a version of himself that the world wanted him to be, not the version that was his to create.

Why We Struggle to Be Ourselves

Like Arvind, most of us are raised with an instruction manual for life—one that was handed down to us by parents, teachers, and society.

• Be a good student.
• Get a respectable job.
• Settle down.
• Don’t question too much.
• Don’t disappoint anyone.

We are conditioned to seek external approval instead of internal fulfilment. We learn to fit in instead of stand out.

And in doing so, we suppress parts of ourselves—our creativity, our desires, our curiosity—because we fear being seen as different, selfish, or unrealistic.

But the truth is: Your purpose is not to fit into the world’s expectations. Your purpose is to become the most authentic version of yourself.

Signs You Are On the Path to Individuation

1. You Start Questioning Everything
2. You Let Go of the Need for Constant Approval
3. You Embrace Both Your Strengths and Shadows
4. You Feel More Freedom in Your Choices

How to Begin Your Individuation Journey

1. Ask yourself, What beliefs and expectations have I inherited that no longer serve me?
2. Think about what you once loved before the world told you who you should be.
3. Don’t be afraid to live differently from others. Your path is yours alone.
4. Don’t try to erase parts of yourself to fit a perfect image. Growth is about integration, not perfection.

The Journey Back to You

Arvind’s story isn’t unique. Many people wake up one day and realise they’ve been living a life written by someone else. But the good news is—you don’t have to wait until later in life to start asking the real questions.

So, I ask you today:

What part of yourself have you been suppressing to fit into an image?

What’s will you do to realise your authentic self?

I’d love to hear about your journey to becoming YOU.