Independently Successful: The Real Measure of Success

In many ways, being a boss is a lot like being a father. It’s an amazing privilege that I never take for granted. My goal as a father is to ensure that my children become independently successful. It’s not about helping them be successful when I’m around – it’s about them being successful whether I am around or not. 

I can provide love, a roof over their heads, and food on the table, but those are the entry-level requirements of a father. The ultimate measure of success is to be independently successful without me. It is the same with your staff – you want to help them to be successful independent of you being there. You cannot be there every minute of every day for them to plug into if you seriously expect them to develop. Even though you might know how to do something better, at some point you have to let your staff figure out how to deal with a challenge on their own. They have to be allowed to do it without your input and you have to be okay even if it doesn’t go right. Sometimes the best price to pay is a lesson learned.

Your people give you a significant chunk of their lives. I think it’s only fair that we give them back more than just a salary or a health insurance plan. Anyone can do that for them. More than anything, I think the best thing you can do for your people is just believe in them more than they believe in themselves. 

Most people have more belief in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus than they do themselves. That’s because by the time they’ve reached adulthood, people have had their belief in self figuratively knocked out of them. As a kid, everything is easy; everyone wants to support you and tell you everything is possible, and that you can achieve anything if you wish hard enough. As an adult, the truth hits home that it takes more than just the fact that your mother wants you to achieve things to actually achieve them. Setbacks and disappointments are aplenty. This leads to people perpetually doubting what and even if they can achieve anything. Sometimes – many times – they’ll bring this self-doubt with them to your work. 

To really believe in them, you’ve got to believe they’re capable of achieving more than they are now – whatever their circumstance or excuses. People love to find excuses and give you reasons for their failures, often before they have even taken on a task. I’ve learned to ignore most of those excuses, simply because it’s nearly always just a bad habit they have formed. As a business owner, you need to recognize the self-limiting beliefs that your people have and encourage them to see past their own doubts. If you don’t, it’s going to cost you money and limit their personal progress. 

Refuse to Accept Poor Standards

  If you really do want to help them make a change, another way to do it is to refuse to allow them to accept poor standards for themselves. When and if standards drop in your practice, remind them that they’re not letting you down, they’re letting themselves down. This is a radically different approach that most bosses would never consider taking. Think about it, though. If you think that they’re letting you down, you are taking it personally. You think and feel that they’re doing it to you. You think that because you’re paying them, if they don’t do something you expected or did something they shouldn’t, that they’ve let you down. But that isn’t the way it is, as the reverse is actually true; they’ve let themselves down. You fulfilled your obligation. You set the standards that they agreed to when they took the job. They showed up late or they didn’t do the work required. They’ve let themselves down in doing so. When you see it this way, it helps both of you.  

First, you won’t get frustrated, which means you’re not going to make a rash, emotional decision or close your mind off from great ideas or opportunities you would otherwise miss for your business. Second, the only way change really occurs is if someone realizes and wants it for himself. I am sure my people want to work for me. They want me to think highly of them. But I know they really want to work for, and have a higher opinion of, themselves.  

You want to motivate people and make a real change, but you can’t do it for them. Only they can do that. You can provide inspiration, but that doesn’t last long. If you want lasting change, you can only change the standards in your company to increase the odds of this happening. When you raise the standards, they often step up – or step out. Either way, you win.  

Start by Raising Your Own Standards

  The best place to start is with yourself and raising your own standards. Take it upon yourself to set higher standards in your life and in your work. Wherever those standards are now, you can raise them. Not only will you benefit directly from that personally, but the added benefit is that your people will also be pulled up to a new, higher standard at the same time.  

If you’re able to set your own standards at a level just above theirs, and you’re showing them a path to get up there with you, then you are pulling them up to higher heights – new heights that they can’t, or wouldn’t, achieve on their own. Best, if they can do the same for the people in their lives, you’ve pulled a lot of others up with you because of the standards you set. Now you’re really inspiring change. And personally, I think this is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a leader.  

Don’t overlook any of what I am talking about here. A lack of confidence and belief in self is very real. It is what stops most people from ever achieving their full potential. Plus, don’t forget that very few people actually have great role models to emulate. You can be that person for them. Now you’re really leading.  

If you want to make a difference in your practice, don’t think it is just achieved by giving people money. Help people believe in themselves more. It is the greatest thing you can do for them. Help them realize that they are the ones who can change their own predicaments. Help people realize that the only person they need to believe in them is the one staring back at them in the mirror. If they do that, the money they want to make will take care of itself. Helping people to be independently successful is the most important thing you can ever do – whatever your position or title, but definitely if you are a boss.