Is Indecision Holding You Back?

Have you felt you were holding your heels in and holding yourself back? Do you have a laundry list of possible excuses to give yourself to hold you back from taking that critical step? The reasons you give yourself are very logical, practically speaking-- however, sometimes our dreams are anything but practical.

You see, my favorite dreams are not for the faint of heart - they are bold. The perfect excuses of other people’s thoughts or expectations no longer have the same effect on me. It’s not that I don’t care about their opinions, but rather, my choice to live my life fully and pursue my happiness means so much more.?

So, how can you tell if indecision is holding you back? What does indecision look like? What does indecision feel like? With any decision or goal in life, you need to immerse yourself in the idea. I recommend you engage yourself in your senses so you can see yourself there, so you’re less likely to get stuck in your mind and connect more with your body. You worry less about the past or future and be more in the present moment instead. This aversion to making decisions holds us back and robs us of the life that we deserve.

I've learnt from personal experience, that one of the few reasons below, might be reasons why you find yourself digging your heels in and resisting making changes. I encourage you to take your time to cross-examine yourself and see if you see any of these traits in yourself. By no means is this list exhaustive, but it will get you started in a positive direction to identify things that are holding you back.

1.Feeling bored?

The inability to make a decision is often rooted in habit, and this often leads to boredom. Habit controls most of our unproductive behaviors, such as snoozing multiple times in the morning, watching hours of TV, playing hours of video games, procrastinating, partying, etc. The inability to make a decision can also be a habit, which can lead to boredom. If you are indecisive, it is important to determine exactly when you first developed this debilitating habit.

Sometimes, people are bored because they don’t want to put sustained effort into finding relevant information for making effective decisions. In some cases, they don’t know how to get more information by asking the right set of questions, and, therefore, they end up compromising with low-quality decision-making.?

2.Feeling unfulfilled?

Sometimes, the only way someone can change is to hit rock bottom and get so sick and tired of something that the only option is to change. For those who have something in their lives that they are sick and tired of, identifying it is easy. For others, it isn’t as easy. If your life is okay, you might not realize that there are things in your life that are holding you back from true happiness and amazing success. Your life might be okay, but it isn’t amazing. Something is holding you back. If you’re not entirely happy and fulfilled with your life, ask yourself why? If you’re unhappy, there’s a reason for it. And if you’re not as successful as you want to be, there’s a reason for that, too. It is imperative that you do an inventory of your life and identify the areas where you’re not happy.

If you have something in your life that you are sick and tired of, it is time to make a decision. Decide right now that you will no longer stand for it, whatever it may be. Why continue to live a poor or mediocre life? It is time to decide to raise your standards. Only then can you improve your life.

3.Unresolved challenges in your personal life

When chaos is present in our lives, we often feel stuck and unable to take action. It's as if we are paralyzed, held back by an invisible force. We may even put aside other ambitions until there is a sense of resolution - this may require changes to relationships or allowing ourselves better access to logic and decisive thinking. Perhaps chaos clouds us from seeing the truth and that allows us to sit in comfort with our pain for too long. This feeling can cause us to doubt ourselves and make it difficult to move forward; however, when we start taking small but consistent steps towards our desired outcome, we can slowly but surely heal those wounds and gain greater clarity on what decisions may come next.

Life isn’t fair sometimes, but when we can accept that it is not our circumstances but what we do with our circumstances that counts, we change our mindset and begin to see the proactive plans that will change our circumstances.

4.Fear of the unknown?

We will all be afraid of something at some point in our lives. These feelings are completely normal. Fearing the unknown is what makes us human. Fear is a powerful emotion, so powerful that it can crush all hope for success in a single instant. The minute you let fear in the driver's seat, you are already on the losing end. Fear can be so paralyzing that you’ll not even want to try. Some common fears you are likely to experience on the way to success are fear of failure, financial loss, ridicule, rejection, embarrassment, and unforeseen circumstances, to say the least.?

How can you determine if fear has already taken hold of you? The minute you respond with “I can’t” will indicate that you are no longer in control. You have allowed fear to stop you before you’ve even begun. Fear can be so strong that it manifests physically through nervous sweating, pounding hearts, difficulty breathing, dry throats, anxiety, and more.? ?

5.Past experiences?

Another reason why some of us are afraid of making a decision is because of past experiences or failures. It is natural for someone who has made mistake after mistake in the past to be afraid of making another mistake. If you have made a string of mistakes in the past, it is only natural that those mistakes would affect your current ability to make a decision. It is important to recognize that you are gun shy because of past mistakes. Only then can you develop a strategy to solve the problem.

An impediment to a good decision being made is constantly thinking about past mistakes and beating yourself up for them. Living with some post-decision angst and regrets will hurt your capability to see things through and decide on them swiftly. Make a decision to never look back once you’ve made that decision!

6.Other people’s judgment?

We care about others’ perceptions of us. We want our peers, friends, business partners, and acquaintances to think we’re resourceful, smart, and successful. This is a natural tendency. The problem is, left unchecked; it can reach the level of obsession. That’s the point at which it can negatively impact our decisions.

When we become overly concerned with how other people perceive us, we begin to make decisions based on their implicit (or even imagined) approval. This inclination handicaps the decision-making process. It prompts us to dismiss rational, even preferable, options because they fail to align with others’ opinions. In some cases, it may also prevent us from making a decision we know to be in our best interest.

7.Lack of experience/resources?

We all have egos. As such, the fear of being wrong, looking bad, and being embarrassed because of a lack of experience or resources is always on our minds. For some reason, many of us believe that when we make a wrong decision, it somehow reflects negatively on us. Some people avoid committing one way or another because they don’t want to make a wrong decision and look bad.

You may find decisions hard because you lack key skills. You may be worried about how uncertain the future is. Or, as much as you strive to live a life with no regrets, you know regrets are part of living. If you have exhausted all of your resources, but still you are left with no clue about what to do, don’t just stand there and let the wind blow you wherever. Remember, ‘not making a decision’ is still a decision. If you are bothered with a difficult decision to make but don’t have the knowledge, experience, or guts to make that decision, you can consult a friend or anyone who has been in your situation before. After all, that’s the only resort you have. At least you didn’t delay making an important decision just because you feel you don’t know enough. At the end of the day, you were still able to make a decision for yourself, so you are not a product of circumstances but a product of your decision.

8.Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset can be one of the greatest enemies in pursuing progress and growth in all aspects of life. It creates a sense of entitlement - if something is "the way it is", then why bother changing it? We become complacent, unable to see past our current perspective or reach beyond our present boundaries. It blocks us from acknowledging the good that may exist beyond our current limitations, something that could bring us significant improvements and joy. Instead of striving for new heights, we remain stuck at a single level because we don't believe that anything greater than what we already have is possible. If we want to make progress in life, rather than falling into the familiar trap of having a fixed mindset, we must push ourselves out of our comfort zone and be open to possibilities.

When it feels like we are spinning our wheels instead of moving forward, it can be difficult to uncover the causes behind our lack of progress. Self-doubt, fear, and feelings of inadequacy can be strong determinants in this difficulty. It is important to take a step back and properly assess what might be causing the stall we are experiencing; reflection is key here. And it's not just psychological issues that could be at play - if your energy and focus are outside of what you need for success or if subconsciously you don't feel like now is the right time for progress due to lifestyle concerns or other issues, then these can also play a factor in stalling our progress. The next time you find yourself not making progress, ask yourself candidly why you aren't advancing -- your answer may surprise you!