Increasing Your Influence: The Art of Being Persuasive

The world is full of situations where you need to be persuasive – whether it's borrowing a friend's car, convincing your boss to give you time off, or getting someone to agree that sushi with salami is a great idea. To succeed, you'll need to master a few skills. While they aren't magic tricks, they can help people trust you more.

Know Your Audience – and Don’t Guess

If you're trying to persuade someone to do something, first find out what that person actually needs. Don’t just throw arguments around like you're firing a shotgun, hoping at least one pellet will hit the target. If you want your friend to help you move, tell them: "I know you're looking to hit the gym and work on your muscles. Why not help me move? You'll sweat, get a workout for free, and after, we’ll grab some pizza!" Everyone likes to think they're getting something in return, right?

Keep It Simple – No Need to Be Fancy

If I try to convince someone of my point of view using terms like "synergistic approximation" or "holistic paradigm," the only thing I'll achieve is confusing both myself and the other person. People like simple, understandable sentences. So instead of saying, “Implementation of complex optimization strategies...”, I’ll say, “Let’s solve this quickly and easily.” Less complication, more results!

Balance Between Logic and Emotion

Facts are important, but sometimes emotions are what lead to that “Aha!” moment. Imagine you're selling a new gadget. You could say: "This device has the latest 8-core processor!" But a better approach might be: “Look how cool this new gadget looks, and everyone will be asking where you got it!” People love to feel an emotional connection but don’t overdo it.

Authority – Wear the Crown, But Only Metaphorically

If you want to be persuasive, you must seem like you know what you're talking about. Refer to your knowledge or experience. “I’ve been doing this for years” or “I got this advice from an expert” might be enough for everyone to think: "This person knows their stuff." And if you're not yet an expert, you can always say: “A friend who knows a lot about this told me…” It's a classic trick, but it works.

Reciprocity – What Goes Around, Comes Around

We all know the old saying: “What goes around, comes around.” People like to feel they've done something nice, and if you mention how you'll return the favour, they'll feel even better. So next time you need a favour, start with: “Remember when I helped you with…?” People don’t like to feel indebted, so you’ll probably get what you want more easily.

Stories – Everyone Loves a Good (and Funny) One

If you want to be persuasive, tell a good story. People love stories, especially ones that show you’re not ashamed to admit your mistakes or that you’re a bit clumsy. With a good story, your argument becomes more personal and memorable. So instead of saying: “Our project is important”, say: “I remember the last time we tried something similar, and it brought us great results. Imagine what we can achieve now!”

Nonverbal Communication – My Secret Weapon

Did you know people trust body language more than words? If you're talking about something enthusiastically but sitting slouched in your chair with your arms crossed, your audience will probably think you don’t care. So sit up straight, use hand gestures, and make eye contact. Persuasion is also a physical art – like a dance that accompanies the music of your words.

Ask the Right Questions

There’s nothing more effective than asking questions that lead people to the answer you want. “What do you think, how could we solve this?” or “How would this benefit you?” Questions not only engage people in the conversation but also make them think your idea is their idea. And who doesn’t like to feel smart?

Social Proof – "If They’re Doing It, It Must Be Good!"

People love to follow others, even if they don’t admit it. If everyone is talking about a new restaurant, chances are you’ll check it out too. When you want to convince someone, mention that others have already accepted your idea or product. “Everyone in the office is using this software, and they’re loving it!” Or, if nothing else, you can say: “I saw it online – everyone’s doing it!” That usually works.

Consistency – Like a Good Old Hit Song

People love consistency. If my message keeps changing, I’ll lose trust. So stick to your key points and repeat them, but with different emphasis. Think of it like a favourite song – you don’t want to hear it all the time, but an occasional chorus repetition is just perfect.

Being Persuasive Can Be Fun

Persuasion isn’t just a useful skill; it’s also a chance to have fun. When you know your audience, tell stories, and play with words, persuasion can be charming, enjoyable, and successful. Even the most stubborn colleague can become your ally – or at least someone you can take out for sushi, even if it’s sushi with salami.