Increase Your Optimal Performance in 30 Days & How to Get What You Want in Any Negotiation

WHAT'S INSPIRING ME

If you haven’t seen?The Terminal List on Amazon Prime?yet, put it at the top of your list. The series aired on July 1st, and is written by former Navy SEAL, Jack Carr. The story is about Commander Jack Reece (played by Chris Pratt), who leads a top secret mission that goes wrong and appears to be a set up, leading Reece into an extended ordeal to get to the bottom of what happened and clear his (and his teammates’) names.??

Our SEALFIT team got to be a part of the premiere in a really special way. Just prior to the airing of The Terminal List, Amazon Prime assembled an impressive group of athletes and social media influencers at the Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista, CA, to experience a true SEALFIT challenge.?

SEALFIT Coaches Richard Thompson, Rob Ord, and Charlie Fazen put the group through a grueling 5-hour crucible, before turning attention to the inner work necessary to develop true mental toughness. The participants were brought to their breaking points again and again, and then armed with practices that they can bring into their daily lives to achieve 20X their perceived potential.

This was such a cool event to witness. To catch a snippet of what went on that day, you can?check out this clip.

THE MARK DIVINE SHOW

A Masterclass in Negotiation from an FBI Investigator

Episode 369:?How to Get What You Want in Any Negotiation (with Ashley Stahl and Chris Voss)

This week on the podcast, we’re doing something a little bit different. In this episode, I hand the mic to Ashley Stahl, a former counterterrorism professional turned career coach. In this feed drop from Ashley’s You Turn podcast, Ashley interviews Chris Voss, the lead international kidnapping investigator for the FBI, author of?Never Split the Difference, and CEO of the Black Swan Group. In this masterclass on negotiation, Chris and Ashley cover salary negotiation tactics, how to use empathy to get what you want, negotiation psychology, and so much more.

Key Takeaways:

• Never go first.?Chris says the secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiations is giving the other side the illusion of control. That’s why the smartest and best negotiators let the other side go first. He who speaks first loses, since you're giving the other side a lot of information right off the bat, and you’re not learning anything you can use in your favor. If you’re asked a question first, respond, but don’t answer the question right away. Pivot as much as possible back to the other person and make them divulge first.
• Empathy means understanding,?not?caring.?Empathy has become a synonym for?caring?about the other side. But Chris says empathy is really about completely?understanding?where the other side is coming from. If you need to like, agree with, or sympathize with someone to exercise empathy, then what happens if you don’t like them? What happens if you don't agree with them? You can't exercise empathy if those are necessary requirements. But if you don't need any of those things, you can exercise empathy with any human being on the planet.
• Focus on fixing losses vs. accomplishing gains.?The reasons why we?won't?do something are more important in our decision-making than the reasons we?will?do something. 70% of sales are made by people trying to fix losses, not accomplish gains. So in any given negotiation, the reasons why someone?doesn’t?want to agree will play a bigger role than the reasons why they?should?agree.
• Don’t give lip service.?If you hear the other side out in a negotiation, you need to adjust what it is you have to offer after hearing their objection. You need to show that you actually listened. If you make no adjustments and act like you didn’t hear and understand them, the other side will think that talking to you is a waste of time.
• Chris’ best tip for salary negotiation.?In a salary negotiation, talk about what?you?bring to the table. When you start talking to a potential employer about collaborating on a great future together, now you’re a different person to that employer. It shows that you’re interested in mutual gain. Talk about how you're going to fit into their important goals. If you live up to what you're talking about, you're going to seem like a bargain for them.

LISTEN HERE

WHAT I'M READING

Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation,?Bruce Tift

I’m a big fan of teachings that bridge the gap between eastern and western traditions in a practical way. In this book, therapist and Buddhist practitioner Bruce Tift does an amazing job combining the best of Buddhism with practical psychotherapy principles to help handle anxiety, relationship issues, and more.

WHAT I'M WRITING ABOUT?THIS WEEK

The Six Pillars of Optimal Performance

As Socrates once said, “an unexamined life is not worth living.” That sounds harsh, but without deeply examining your mental training and re-constructing new stories to guide your behavior and goals, you can become blissfully (or painfully) ignorant that you’re dancing to someone else’s tune.

In this piece, I go over the Six Pillars of Optimal Performance – and how to track them for a more uncommon life.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Dalai Lama

PRACTICE OR HABIT TO TRY

Which of the Six Pillars of Optimal Performance need your attention right now? What one practice can you commit to for the next 30 days to move the needle on your well-being?

That’s all for now! See you next week.?

Hooyah!

Mark

P.S.?We all know that we need to continue to encourage our youth to get fit, and this is a cool way for them to get a chance to run a Spartan race with active duty Marines.

Our friends at Spartan Race are holding 10 races this year with active duty Marines out on the course for a special heat. They are looking to fill up the roster with racers who may have an interest in the Armed Forces.

Please share this opportunity with coaches, teams, or groups that may want to?Run with the Marines.