Increase the Level of Living with Happiness (Eighth Phase)
Md. Asaduzzaman
Learning & Development || Personal and Professional Coach || Fleet Management || Facility Management || Administration || HR ||
4.4 Emotional Intelligence (EI):
If we liken success to a tree and consider the various components of success as branches, then emotional intelligence (EI) can be likened to the leaves of that tree. The significance of leaves to a plant underscores the critical importance of emotional intelligence for success. Emotional intelligence, or EI, involves the adept management of negative emotions and the expressive articulation of fitting positive emotions. Those who master this skill can ascend to the zenith of success. To comprehend emotional intelligence better, let's explore it through two illustrative phenomena. Incident-1: An executive in a prominent corporate office was at home, completing breakfast and preparing to leave for the office. As the maid carried a cup of tea, an accidental spill occurred, staining the man's favorite shirt intended for a client presentation later that day. Overwhelmed by frustration, he impulsively slapped the maid. His wife, witnessing this, strongly objected, leading to a more intense confrontation where he also slapped his wife. Despite leaving for the office, anger lingered. An additional mishap occurred while driving, resulting in a fine and further infuriation. Arriving late, the man faced his boss's reprimand, exacerbating his already sour mood. This negative mindset affected his client presentation, leading to the cancellation of a significant contract. The angered boss, in turn, terminated his employment. Returning home disheartened, he found his wife absent with an unreachable phone. Pondering on the events, he went to bed, and the next morning, received a divorce letter from his wife via courier.
Incident-2: If the individual in the aforementioned scenario had been attuned to his emotions and understood the significance of emotional intelligence, the narrative might have unfolded differently. Following the tea spill, the man would manage his anger, realizing it was an accident beyond anyone's control. Instead of reacting impulsively, he would smile gently at the maid and say, "Never mind, let's clean this up." He would change into another shirt and head to the office. With a composed mind, he would navigate the roads without any mishaps, reaching the office on time. Delivering a well-prepared presentation, he would keep his composure and successfully satisfy the client. Consequently, the official agreement would proceed as planned. With the contract secured, the boss would recognize his efforts, offering a promotion and a salary raise. Returning home with joy, he would share the good news with his wife and take her out for dinner to celebrate the promotion. Examining both scenarios underscores the immense importance of managing negative emotions. Let's explore the spectrum of negative emotions, including anger, fear, sadness, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, disgust, loneliness, jealousy, defeat, resentment, boredom, pride, contempt, aggression, stress, hatred, embarrassment, and more. As human beings composed of flesh and blood, it's natural for these emotions to manifest in response to various events. However, if these emotions linger, they pose risks to both our physical and mental well-being. In some instances, these emotions become so ingrained that seeking assistance from a psychiatrist becomes necessary, or individuals may endure the lifelong consequences of these emotions. For instance, if someone blames themselves for the unnatural death of a loved one due to a specific incident, the resulting guilt can persist throughout their lifetime. Carrying the burden of a persistent negative emotion for a lifetime is not a worthwhile endeavor. Therefore, it is imperative to address and alleviate negative emotions as soon as they are recognized in our minds.
The repercussions of negative emotions stemming from one event can cast a shadow on subsequent occurrences. Consider a situation where an individual is severely insulted, humiliated, and defamed by his office boss. Subsequently, it is revealed that the mistake was not the individual's but rather his colleague's. What adds to the astonishment is that even after catching the mistake, the boss shows no remorse or sympathy for the person and doesn't reprimand the colleague. Faced with this, the individual leaves the office alone, grappling with anger and sadness, questioning his own actions. Carrying this negative emotion home, the sight of his little child playing with water triggers an outburst of anger. This incident terrifies the child, who immediately breaks into tears and cries for an extended period. While the man might not scold so vehemently another time, the impact of this scolding may resonate with the child for a lifetime. Consequently, it is imperative to transform negative emotions into positive ones swiftly. Just as negative emotions generated at home should not permeate the workplace, negative emotions from work should not be carried home. Thus, managing and channeling negative emotions appropriately is crucial when transitioning between different environments.
Imagine a man carefully driving his car on the road, diligently adhering to all traffic rules. Suddenly, some erratic drivers appear, weaving through traffic in a chaotic manner. How would the man react? He would undoubtedly slow down, allowing them to pass in an organized manner, facilitating their overtaking. Now, if, during this overtaking, one of these reckless drivers collides with him, causing injury and a minor disfigurement, his response would be to return home, apply ointment, and take medicine for recovery. On the contrary, if the man, influenced by the erratic behavior of the other drivers, decides to drive recklessly as well, the likelihood of future harm increases. This scenario reflects our daily exposure to a spectrum of emotions, both in personal and professional settings. Unbeknownst to us, these emotions seep into our being, influencing us. This interplay encompasses both negative and positive emotions. Therefore, it is imperative to cultivate positive emotions within ourselves by effectively managing and mitigating negative emotions.
Negative emotions, like all emotions, are the result of complex interactions between different neurotransmitters and the brain. Although there is no single chemical link to any one specific negative emotion, several neurotransmitters play a role in the formation of emotions, both positive and negative. However, negative emotions can have short-term and long-term effects on the human body. Because negative emotions remain in our body for a long time, they damage the internal organs of the body. Our mind and body are intricately connected, and emotional experiences can trigger physiological responses that affect various organs and systems. Here are some examples of how different negative emotions can affect different organs; Intense anger and hostility can trigger the stress response. Frequent anger and hostility can lead to high blood pressure and heart problems. Chronic anger and hostility can increase the risk of liver problems and certain liver diseases. Stress and anxiety contribute to increased heart rate and blood pressure, which subsequently increase the risk of heart disease. In addition, stress or anxiety can cause gastrointestinal problems, such as indigestion, stomach ulcers, and complex and dreaded conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Chronic stress or anxiety can result in decreased sleep. As a result, the immune system weakens, which makes the body more susceptible to infections and illnesses. Feelings of sadness and depression can affect the body in many ways, especially if they persist for a long time. Depression can cause changes in brain chemistry, which affects mood regulation. Depression can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or oversleeping and weakens the immune system. Depressed individuals may experience changes in appetite, resulting in weight loss or gain. Excessive fear and anxiety can manifest as phobias, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. Chronic fear and anxiety can affect the kidneys and stress the nervous system and lead to symptoms such as tremors or muscle tension. Panic attacks are associated with fear and anxiety, which can lead to more complex problems such as shortness of breath. Guilt and shame These emotions can have a psychological impact, affecting self-esteem and overall emotional well-being. People burdened with guilt or shame may also engage in self-destructive behavior.
Hence, transitioning from accumulating negative emotions to cultivating positive ones is essential for maintaining both physical and mental well-being. Positive emotions encompass a spectrum that includes happiness, love, gratitude, amusement, wonder, contentment, hope, serenity, excitement, optimism, confidence, admiration, compassion, positive excitement, calmness, tranquility, joy, caring, happiness, and joyousness, among others. Those adept at managing negative emotions while embracing positive ones not only safeguard their mental health but also foster analytical and creative skills. It's noteworthy that individuals with high IQs can be detrimentally impacted by unchecked negative emotions, whereas those with lower IQs, proficient in controlling such emotions, may excel in managing individuals with higher IQs.
Ways to control negative emotions:
Controlling negative emotions is actually very difficult. Let's say two twin sisters, who are born a few minutes apart, grow up in the same family. And studied in the same school, in the same class. But, their emotional expression patterns will be different. After nagging from father or mother, one may be seen crying and isolated, while the other is normal, with no change in emotional expression. Because, according to the overall situation, the pattern of growing up from childhood and genetic characteristics, the behavioral characteristics of each person are manifested differently. Emotions are a person's own feelings that manifest in behavior. Hence, given similar circumstances, a person exhibits almost similar behavior. Which is difficult to change. But by practicing the following points, one can acquire emotional intelligence.
Practicing self-awareness: Recognizing your own emotions. Because of any kind of event, what kind of emotions are being released, whether they are positive or negative, must be identified. Then necessary measures should be taken to control negative emotions.
Breathing exercise: Long breathing i.e. as long as the breath can be drawn upwards, then breathing out is called breathing exercise. If you close your eyes and breathe like this for a minute, negative emotions will come under control.
Self-talk: When negative emotions are felt, talk to yourself and give yourself the necessary guidance and advice to control it. Negative thoughts need to be challenged and replaced with a balanced or positive outlook.
Meditation or Mindfulness Practice: One should always practice mindfulness by focusing on emotional moments through deep meditation for some time every day. Very short periods of meditation can also be done to control very small negative emotions.
Through Expression of Emotions: Find the medium of expression of emotions. That is, one should find someone like a trusted friend to whom one can express one's anger and reactions and one should take care that, by the words spoken to him, he may not create any harmful effect in the future by those words. The easiest way to do this is to write down whatever anger you have in your personal diary, and keep it out of the public eye. Expressing emotions can keep the mind calm.
Engage in physical activity: By doing regular physical exercise, the body releases enzymes called endorphins, which help regulate mood. Physical exercise also helps to reduce stress.
Using visualization: Imagine a peaceful place or a situation that brings you pleasure. It could be a happy memory of a past event. Visualization helps shift focus away from negative emotions.
Keeping yourself alive and fresh: By keeping yourself connected with the diversity of nature, you can keep yourself alive and fresh, keeping negative emotions at bay. For example, watering a plant every day and observing its growth. Keeping small scale birds or fish at home and taking care of them daily by feeding them etc.
Limiting Negative Triggers: Identify people, environment, situations around you, which trigger negative emotions. Then, their company should be gradually reduced. May you always keep yourself filled with positive emotions.
Practicing Gratitude: Acknowledging gratitude helps change perspective. That's why you should always be grateful to your helper. One should practice expressing gratitude to the Creator, leaving the responsibility of every good and bad result to the Creator. It will bring negative emotions under control.
Refraining from reacting: If you feel pain or anger in the words or actions of a person, restrain yourself from expressing negative reactions, thinking that the words or actions have been revealed from that person's thoughts, views. Because of his own emotions, why should I waste my emotions? Therefore, without being carried away by his emotions, one should remain calm, restraining oneself. It can be seen, by the man's expressed emotions, that he himself has once been caught.
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Focusing on future goals: If you feel any kind of negative emotions in yourself, focus on future goals. And accordingly you have to practice keeping yourself normal by focusing on work. As a result negative emotions will be deactivated.
Seek professional help: If you still find it difficult to control your negative emotions, seek help from a therapist or specialist counselor. If you are not crazy, you cannot go to psychiatrists or if you go to psychiatrists people will think you are crazy, which is not the case. Because, behind every negative emotion there is a biochemical activity that is created as a result of our own interactions within our body. There are many drugs, which can inactivate or alleviate or reverse that particular biochemical reaction. However, this medicine should not be taken without a specialist's opinion.
Remember, controlling negative emotions is a skill that requires a lot of patience to practice. But with consistent effort, a person can develop emotional resilience and well-being by controlling negative emotions. Which will help him to succeed in future.
Full Book PDF: https://lnkd.in/gVGq8JC3
First Phase: (Introduction) https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/increase-level-living-happiness-first-phase-md-asaduzzaman
Second Phase: (Health and Fitness)
Third Phase: (Work efficiency and Communication Skill)
Fourth Phase: (Managerial and Leadership Skill)
Fifth Phase: (Family and Friends)
Sixth Phase: (Goal Settings and way to Achieving)
Seventh Phase: (Money making habit)