The Inconvenient Truth About Balancing Parenting and Work
Priyasha Corrie
Corporate/M&A Lawyer | Managing Partner at Integriti Law | Consultant at KLME Law
Parenting is not a cakewalk. It has forced me to ask some tough and uncomfortable questions to myself. While I’ve lost a little of myself, I have found some missing parts while working hard on self-improvement. It has also cornered me to face the inconvenient truth I’ve been trying to deny in a noisy world full of distractions: children need our time and attention.
What does this translate to in the work world? We can’t work the way we did pre-child. Working 10-14 hours a day (unless absolutely necessary in legitimate cases) is missing the forest for the woods when you have a child.
After reading several books on child psychology and listening to what experts have to say about raising children, here’s what I have concluded: children need to feel safe, loved,?seen, heard, significant, and celebrated. If they are deprived of two or more of these, don’t be surprised if they end up in a therapist’s office! At the same time, realistically, you can’t offer them all of these at once. We were perhaps deprived of some of them and are wounded ourselves. However, being present is one of the key ways that a child can be made to feel all of them.
How would a child feel if they were to just be tossed around between nannies, playdates, and activities? They’d feel worthless and insignificant, like someone brought into the world?only to deal with.
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I get it that, in many cases, such as with single parents and sole breadwinners, it isn’t possible to devote as much time because it is a case of making ends meet. However, this striving is borne out of love, and I believe that a child would understand and appreciate the sacrifice.
But for many of us who can have our basic needs met, it may be worth pausing to reflect and be honest about what we are working for: are we really working for our child’s future? Or are we working for our ego? Are we working for OUR dream of putting them into an Ivy League school but depriving them of what they truly yearn for?
In my world, time is money. But in my daughter’s world, time equals love.?
It isn’t easy, this one. And I know I won't get it right every time. Removing the fluff from my life, swallowing my pride, putting myself second, and?giving the greatest gift that I could give my child: time.
Librarian at Trilegal, Mumbai
1 年Wah very nice.
Corporate Lawyer/I help ready-to-invest individuals and orgs. based outside Nigeria to legally set-up protected companies or non-profits in Nigeria without hitches / Founder at LEX-PRAXIS SOLICITORS
2 年Read this in my mail this morning. Your perpective, has opened my eyes to the realities of parenting as a career woman. I'm also considering making concrete plans in this regard especially as it concerns managing my law practice and family when I get to this stage. Thanks for sharing.
Head,Gulf & Africa & Global Investigations |Times 40U40 |Security Today Top 20 Influencers|Asia's Top 100 Women Leaders| REID Interviewer| OSPAs Outstanding Investigator| Certified MLRO|Top 10 Women Entrepreneur '24 UAE|
2 年Well very articulated Priyasha. Having seen you first hand handling the little Ms. let me tell you that you are doing more and beyond. The guilt will never leave us, even if we move mountains, but yes I can assure you that you will always have your tribe waiting at the table, for you to rush home, finish a feed, and come and order a refill of the wine. I know you remember what I am speaking of - that evening defined us :)