Incivility: 12 Million Dollars a Year
Nicole Wright, CHT, NLPP
Accounting & Tax with Newsweek JP cover. Crime & Culture Journalist.
Thank you, #ChristinePorath, for this excellent TedTalk.
Watching her speech, I’m in the 12% that will leave.
Much of my career; incivility failed to be an issue; yet there have been several key periods of exploration in work and/or school, where I encountered this. Including recently.
* From my work as Financial Controller for VC Funded Startups, incivility did not exist (from my personal experience or memory).
However, I did see it in some Private Equity companies. [1]
And I have seen it while traveling.
It consistently “feels surprising”. It sometimes feels “shocking”.
The person doing it I will have no respect for; or lose what was built.
Depending where on the scale their behavior falls, I will discern and create distance or cut-off. (It’s human nature to judge others who violate our value system.)
Or begin screening for #narcissism. The Narcissist Triad is Hero-Victim-Antagonist. (Whereas a Borderline individual has five faces: Hero-Victim-Antagonist + Parent-Child.)
Depending on how a person does it, I might also look for signs of #hostileworkenvironment or #workplaceviolence.
* From my therapy training & field research, incivility has darker roots. All related to indicators around abuse or violence.
They are layers of hostility & examples of what people have learned from the people they interact with; or who they really #are inside.
* From my family & community, incivility was always uncalled for.
It could indicate lower socio-economic class (or lack of pedigree if it was “new money”); or lack of #education.
(This point lends to generations of truth or bias that family systems can hold.)
#HomelessToBillionare author #AndresPira wrote of making this mistake one time; by keeping a male sales director who was incivil, for too long.
When he was let go, Pira found he wasn’t the only “rotten apple”; as he’d begun to poison the barrell.
The cost of removing the negativity, cleaning up; the “rott” & propoganda & negative feelings left behind; exceeded the sales (profits) which the Director had brought in; and which had influenced leaders to look the other way.
The cost of keeping a negative employee or team member is always too high.
AUDIBLE: https://amzn.to/3TXOR5d
KINDLE: https://amzn.to/3TFIMZy
HARDCOVER: https://amzn.to/3xczLQd
I looked up #Gottman, who talks about the four horsemen (that which kill communication & sabotage relationships / trust).
RELATIONSHIP BOOK: https://amzn.to/4adzyei
His research shows that there must be 5 positive interactions to offset each 1 that is negative. Or better yet 20:1.
STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: https://amzn.to/4cF2YU3
Healthy people are often intrinsically motivated;
And; while love is often more motivating than fear;
Some people are “wired” differently; where the coach or employer is wise to ask questions about how the future would look if the thing that was wanted wasn’t there…. (I.e. some individuals need to focus only on the goal and positives; where other individuals need to make a mental image of the negative and hold it as part of their grid while working towards gold. Yet, a helpful coach or leader assisting an employee with their internal working; is totally different from a manager leading through criticism or fear; or co-workers being rude or bullying (hostile)).
Leading by pushing failure; or using a stick instead of carrot to drive a team, is always sign of poor leadership.
We know from sport performance leadership, that teams who are trained to think in terms of failure or punishment, lose.
There are other negative downstream effects related to finance losses due to productivity or turnover or lawsuits; emotional stress from the victim; or even harassment or bullying from the trauma bonded team members who start to emulate the abuser.
ARCHIVES
[1] Incivility began to occur at ReadiSuite in San Francisco. As Financial Controller, I led the company's finance department and grew them from one to four locations (@Townsend in SOMA, @ Market St between Downtown & Yerba Buena, @ Virtual, and @ Peninsula). The company was at 1M end of July 2006 when I started; and 4M+ beginning of March 2008 when I exited.
They initially offered me a low salary, which I declined. I talk about this negotiation in the #JaimeMaster's interview. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=ZZGk_OOKIWE
领英推荐
The owner's response to rate of pay was that his offer was what he paid the previous accounting person; and she had been given a 5K raise from the salary of the person before her.
ASIDE: His bookkeeper had left the company, to accept a position at a gambling corp who was working on technology to make online poker games.
To me, her move relates to felon Keith Raniere.
Raniere speaks about poker strategies in his #NXIVM training videos. He currently advertises himself as a Poker Coach, even while in prison: https://www.keithraniere.com
As she had moved to another company housed within the same building, I was able to meet her. She talked about drugs and arrests. I maintained politeness and boundaries.
I spoke to the owner about what he wanted for the company. I also spoke about what made me qualified. I had led a Private Equity firm to 5X growth. I was not a bookkeeper; I was a Financial Controller & Leader, for companies under 1M up to 2B. (The company I had just come from, published revenues of $1.89B for the year 2022; and was leading industry in 2006.)
The fair and market rate range for the role in their zip was <...>. I was worth <...> based on my results. Did he see a fit if he could meet me at a higher number? He agreed and we moved forward.
With his subsequent rapid growth, he tasked me with hiring a team beneath me, and we continued to grow.
Then, when he had three buildings to manage, he hired a Facilities Manager.
That man, presented as a dichotomy, in multiple ways. I have later learned, that this is a component or aspect of individuals who repeatedly engage in #incivility, as it gives them plausible deniability.
It's also a behavior that one can see with Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, which is a feature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Whether just a #bully, or whether he had more deep seated issues, doesn't matter.
He made rude jokes & #sexist comments, which I ignored. When I returned from lunches, he would make references that were shocking to me. I had never heard of humans being referred to that way; however when I learned about #HumanTrafficking in Texas & DC, that language is rampant within these circles. It's textbook. The comments he was making, are indicative of his mentality. They show Male Privilege, Misogyny, and most importantly with what I know now, Human & Sex Trafficking. Among inner circles of Human Traffickers, they have their own language, and synonyms that display their belief systems. He believes females are a specific animal, and refers to them that way.
I was able to interview a Human Trafficker from Lake Tahoe while I was in DC, on site at a building owned by a #NXIVM member. The owner told me that they were a worldwide membership or collective. He also said that most of them were somewhat "normal", and that the Lake Tahoe Trafficker, was an anomaly. As in, the Lake Tahoe Giant, presented as extreme, in a way where the trafficking collective were aware that it was off-putting.
The Giant, told me that women were dogs; and animals; and must be treated that way. He also said they "wanted" to be treated that way.
As he was talking; when there was an appropriate pause; I used therapeutic change-work NLP to ask the right questions, in the right way. I had done this several times during interview, and I could see I was started to penetrate his framework, just slightly. I said to him, "You mean women; right?"; assuming the positive; in a way that was all about tone, tempo, and pace, mirroring him.
He stopped. Watching his eye movements; he paused; then went backwards; "hit a [mental] wall"; re-wound; then moved forward; then repeated the re-wind & moving forward. Whatever I had disrupted in him, instead of allowing it to be a space for growth, he re-set with his indoctrinated belief system.
His trafficking route is Washington DC to Lake Tahoe. Please steer clear of the red-headed Irish backpacking giant.
Also steer clear of an associate in his network, who calls herself Olivia Eden. She drugs victims with Ayahuasca cocktails and holds the women in shipping containers, which she purchases. She told me that she "helps" women; that the shipping containers she buys to keep slaves, are their "houses". She also admitted that she was a "psychopath"; during the corporate seminar where I saw her. She told me her involvement in the human trafficking "movement", was religious. She said she was born into it, and taught how to do it, from childhood.
As the Facilities Manager at ReadiSuite used human trafficking language; even though I did not know what any of it meant at the time; I could still hear his tone, inflection, meaning; as well as see the reaction he was looking for. I immediately put him on my "no list".
As his behavior escalated (instead of diminishing), I felt uncomfortable, and began looking for positions elsewhere.
During several of my interviews, at companies that were higher net worth than ReadiSuite; I was also dealing with owner's from better pedigree; better education; better connections. Some of their questions, I extrapolated back to ReadiSuite, and realized they were breaking the law.
I filed a report with the IRS and gave notice at the same time.
If we fast forward; I accepted an interim assignment in the next city; and then was head hunted and asked to work for a company who was housed in the same building as ReadiSuite. I accepted the position, and also told the CEO that I was "concerned" about physically being in the same building as ReadiSuite. She told me not to worry.
Around this time, the IRS must have reached out to ReadiSuite, as I entering my office one day, I saw through the glass doors that across the hall, ReadiSuite had pulled out their file boxes and were shredding documents. I believed they were destroying evidence.
Later on, our US Attorney indicted then convicted #MichaelPearse of $50M text-messaging auto-subscribe fraud.
Michael Pearse was a tenant of ReadiSuite, in the building.
He promoted an Australian herbal drug, which had been used by indigenous peoples, and which I believe he was using for sex trafficking.
He was connected to the father of FBI's most wanted #JasonDerekBrown, who had an office in the building. Jason Derek Brown, was employed at one of the Work & Travel companies that hired me in 2021. It was his second season there. When I was looking for missing #Xavior, a boy, I stumbled across Jason's FBI photo, and contacted their office in Arizona. Then, recently, information was shared with me and I was able to verify Jason's father's identity, as a tenant at ReadiSuite from 2007.
ReadiSuite committed tax fraud, and was renting to perpetrators convicted of financial laundering.
Here are Michael Pearse's DOJ press releases:
U.S. Attorney Announces Extradition Of Two Defendants In Multimillion-Dollar Text Messaging Consumer Fraud Scheme
Australian National Pleads Guilty To Multimillion-Dollar Text-Messaging Consumer Fraud Scheme
Australian National Sentenced To More Than 9 Years In Prison For Multimillion-Dollar Text-Messaging Consumer Fraud Scheme
Pearse is currently in the same prison as Keith Ranier & Ross Ulbricht.
After I left ReadiSuite, the owner closed two of his buildings, and is presently operating at 1M. This is 1/4th to 1/5th of what he was operating at, before he decided to commit fraud.
The staff at ReadiSuite were appropriate; excepting the Facilities Manager, and one of his male receptionists, David, who both engage in misogyny & incivility.
It cost them 75-80% of their revenues.