InBloom #1

Spurred on by such a positive reaction on becoming Bloom's President 2024/25 I’m starting a weekly #InBloom article here on LinkedIn. It will chart some of the key issues and topics we talk about at Bloom, celebrate game-changing women and allies plus challenge the status quo and raise awareness of the role and importance of inclusion.

Women Cannot Have It All

At last week’s Bloom AGM, we were inspired by a fantastic discussion from the team at Debate Mate - Women Cannot Have It All. A fascinating debate from female leaders and male allies alongside young debaters.

I sat firmly in the affirmative camp, correct - we cannot have it all. The juggle and balance is simply overwhelming:

• A healthy mind, body and soul - as someone who suffers from anxiety, at times in my 20s crippling and emotionally draining, it took me some years to take ownership of this. I had always been a fit person but having children was a train crash for my fitness and body image. Some 4 years after my second baby I feel I am just getting some semblance of a body that feels 'like me'.
• A healthy family - I am blessed to have a healthy and happy family. My son is however neurodiverse with ASD (autism spectrum disorder). Whilst we are happy, that is not to say that having a neurodiverse child is easy. It requires a firm hand with authorities to ensure you get the support you need plus you need a degree in form filling to navigate every door that is half opened in front of you. That is before you deal with crisis moments, or breaks in routine...
• A successful career - my career is a huge part of my identity so having children was a total shock to the system. I chose to be freelance whilst starting my family which added financial pressure to our unit but ultimately meant I was free of 'mat leave' policy worries. I returned to work after 3 months with my first child because motherhood was a lonely and isolating experience for me so a 2 day a week role was the perfect antidote. I now work 4 days a week completely flexibly which is great. Has motherhood hindered my career earning? Certainly. Career progression? Potentially - but it has been my choice.
• A harmonious home - keeping house, managing play dates, ensuring your child(ren) are doing enough extra-curricular (but not too many to be exhausted), keeping the fridge full and the childcare options sorted come rain, shine, sickness bug etc is mentally tough.
• Some fun with friends - friends? I think I have some of those on WhatsApp or I see their kids' birthdays on Instagram... Seriously though, time with your tribe is also important. For me I started playing and coaching netball but in doing so adding to the juggle / guilt of motherhood and being a 'good' wife.

You simply cannot manage all of these things, all of the time. The juggle is real - as Bloom reported earlier this year.

Stylist magazine also asked if Women Can Have It All? as their cover story for their IWD edition. It’s worth a read and rang so true for me on so many levels.

However, by the end of the debate last week, I no longer wallowed that we cannot have it all and felt inspired to own it. As a woman, I can have it all if I define what it all is, to me. So here goes:

• Stop beating myself up.
• Actively share the load, specifically the mental load.
• Start celebrating all that I do, all that I have achieved and all that I will continue to achieve.

Allyship

I would also like to share a post from our current Bloom President, Elizabeth Anyaegbuna on the treatment of Diane Abbot over the last few days but particularly during PMQs. I do this as an ally to black women and all women whose lived experiences are different from my own. Allyship is hugely important at Bloom and speaking out when it might feel uncomfortable or “not your place” can be a really important demonstration of allyship.

Neurodiversity Celebration Week

Finally, next week is Neurodiversity Celebration Week. As a mother of a neurodiverse child I’m on a journey of discovery about neurodiversity, about how magical non-typical minds are, what support is needed and markedly what is often missing.? Whilst as a parent it might not always be easy, it is certainly making me a more understanding, hopefully patient, if not constantly exhausted, human being.

?I will certainly be championing and celebrating my little boy who brings so much joy to the world.

Thanks for reading.

CJ