Improv/Nego #2: what is man’s biggest fear?

Improv/Nego: the art of improvisation, the science of negotiation

Try to guess what man’s biggest fear is? You might think the answer is death. You are wrong. Death comes only in fifth place. Jaws, the deep sea, and the abyss is in fourth place. In third place is the fear of being homeless, hopeless and helpless in the street, in absolute destitution. The fear of plane crashes comes in second place.

According to research conducted in 1993 by a consulting company (Bruskin-Golding), man’s absolute biggest fear is to speak in public. Why is?that???What is so frightening about speaking publicly? Why would speaking in front of an audience turn anybody livid and de-hydrated?

The explanation is fairly simple. The fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of feeling humiliated. For many, public speaking puts you at risk of being publicly humiliated, of being subject to permanent infamy, to be shamed for incompetency. In that respect, public speaking is worse than death, it is fear of an?infamous death. It’s like dying in the eyes of others.?Your existence is being denied by your peers, you are sentenced to wander without a??goal in a world of loneliness and void where your personality is being annihilated.?Nothing less ...

This is especially true in a culture like the French culture based on a high sense of honor and pride. It is worth noting that this study took place in the USA that traditionally values success over honor. If you consider that top managers,?wherever they come from,?spend more than 50 % of their time speaking in public in various contexts (meetings, team management, project management, presentations, negotiations, interviews), you realize how important it is to provide them with the right tools.

These tools are self-confidence (high and stable), the confidence that you project around you, broadening your comfort zone, audacity, the right to fail, lowering your level of inhibitions, actively listening, vivacity and quick-wittedness, capacity to rebound, instant creativity, in other words, all of those skills which are honed during an improvisation class.

Here are the 10 golden rules of improv that I have conceptualized in the form of helpful guidelines with the ACCEEEPTES ? learning method.?Check it out!

Rule #1?: agree. Say yes, everything said and heard is justified.

Rule #2: relaxed concentration. Stay focused, don’t let go!

Rule #3: instant connections. Show serendipity, find effortlessly, without searching

Rule #4?: active listening. Your stage partner has the solution, she/he?is?the solution.

Rule #5: empathy. Show your teammates that you care, don’t try to shine at their expense, improvisation is a collective sport.

Rule #6: embrace failure. Failure is good, playing silly is OK, it helps you grow

Rule #7: precision. Go to the point, be straightforward, improvisation is a race against the clock.

Rule #8: transgression. Surprise, provoke, always go for the worst-case scenario

Rule #9: emotions. Show your emotions on stage, they are an ally, not a liability

Rule #10: storytelling. Facts inform, stories move, captivate and mesmerize. That is why you read bedtime stories and not balance sheets.

The best way to overcome stage fright and fear of public speaking is to practice improvisation. Actually, it might be the only way. It's amazing how much progress you make after a couple months practicing improv.

Improvisation is not only about speaking in public. There is more to it. Improvisation teaches you how to establish a rapport with others, instantly and durably, it helps you make an impact in all of your interactions. Improvisation summons all of?the skills you need to become more credible, more legitimate, more reliable, more visible, more salient. This is particularly true in negotiation where you want to show presence, not just expertise. Knowledge won’t supplement a lack of presence. A negotiation is like a stage, the other side is your audience, and a negotiator must own the stage (short of being perceived as cocky, of course). This is what improvisation teaches you: how to transcend your stage fright and turn it into playful adrenaline so that your public?persona?makes a lasting impression upon others.

Make no mistake. Improvisation is not just a fun moment where you can act silly on stage, it???is first and foremost an opportunity to hone interpersonal skills which prove to be critical in nearly all of?our social interactions. Indeed, no matter how smart your ideas are, people will pay attention to you only if they believe your persona is worth it. Your trustworthiness will always be tested before your expertise.??Keep this in mind next time you negotiate!