Improving Relationships, Personality, and Even Mental Health in Schools - It's All About Behavior and Science!

Some people seem to be engaged in happy relationships, the reciprocal nature of which might be described as magical as each person fulfills their significant other’s needs while simultaneously meeting their own. ?Many people make earnest attempts at developing and maintaining these types of relationships.?And fail.?Unfortunately, this can result in severe and debilitating pain that can derail even the best of us. And when it comes to building relationships with students in schools, failure to do so can result in decreased learning and increases in behavioral challenges.?

It's All About Behavior

But there’s good news. Successful relationships aren’t the result of magic.?They are the result of behavior.?Period, end of story.?No successful relationship can be achieved without behavior.?It’s not luck, genetics, money, or personality.?It’s simply…behavior!?And not just any behavior but the right behavior. Oh, and by the way, for those of you who believe you have failed to attract or sustain a healthy or “magical” relationship because you don’t possess those charismatic personality traits of your best friend, favorite actor, actress, or whoever…know this: “Personality” is behavior.??My personality, your personality, and all of our personalities are made up of a bunch of “micro-behaviors,” if you will.?When these behaviors occur regularly and are attributed to an individual, we say it’s their “personality.”?The same goes for other adjectives like character, nature, disposition, persona, temperament, and relationships.?It’s all behavior. And from a behavior analytic point of view, mental health is all about behavior as well as thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations are what we call covert behaviors, or private events that only you can see. Consequently, it might more accurately be called behavioral health?from a behavior science perspective! More on that topic here for those who are interested.

In schools, at the root of all successful or unsuccessful learning, classroom management, crisis management, mental health approaches, and [fill in the blank here], is behavior! Understanding the basic principles of behavior can help you better select the right behaviors to engage and bring out the best in the students you serve. Or, in the case of administrators, bring out the best in the teachers you serve so they can bring out the best in the students. ?Understanding just a little behavior science can help you to:

• Understand why you behave in certain ways
• Understand why your students and educators behave in certain ways
• Pinpoint the root cause of behavior and performance issues issues
• Assess behavior-value alignment of you and your stakeholders (e.g., students, teachers, etc.)
• Target value-driven goals
• Self-monitor your own behavior and observe its impact on the students or educators you are supporting
• Observe the behavior of the students and educators and self-monitoring its impact on you
• Recruit feedback in a way that betters yourself
• Provide feedback in a way that betters others
• Achieve valued outcomes
• and more!

While many behavior management gurus provide what seems like sound advice and training, these are hard to apply across people and places because of the vast and nuanced dynamics that can be attributed to each individual across different environments.?In the end, to change behavior, it's not about what a student is doing, but when and why. By understanding the science of human behavior, you can drastically increase the likelihood that you can help the students or educators you support to be successful.?

The Right Behavior

In schools, it's about more than just doing something. It's essential to understand the right thing (behavior) to do to prevent and manage behaviors, and when it's the right time to do it! So, for example, at PCMA, our training solutions focus on teaching people how to build positive relationships. And, of course, that's a classification that comes with a number of behaviors. But let's start by helping everybody in the school building and across the district build positive relationships by engaging in the following steps:

1. Make Time - While it might seem like there isn't enough time in the day as it is, making time to check in will provide lots of return on investment in terms of improved behavioral problems and increased performance. This goes for school and district leadership, too. When you make time for your people, it has a positive impact on their morale and performance.
2. Be Nice - During that time, you must be genuine. Just checking the "make time" box off the list can damage relationships. Make sure you can provide your full attention. And don't be afraid to express your feelings and ask the student or adult how they feel. We are all people! This is a very human thing to do, and it strengthens relationships.
3. Pair - What separates educational leaders (classroom, school, and district leaders) is the intentional search and recognition of incremental improvement towards desired goals. Nobody can walk before they crawl. And nobody can run before they walk. When you specifically recognize what's progressively getting better, this often increases or strengthens student behavior and adult performance; moreover, it simultaneously has the benefit of strengthening relationships!
4. Balance - Look, everybody makes mistakes. And nobody behaves or performs perfectly. During those times, it's essential to provide corrective feedback; however, don't get caught up in the "criticism trap." It's easy to do. And if you look hard enough, you will find errors. But that's like somebody walking outside on a sunny day and complaining about the cloud on the horizon. Think about it like a relationship bank: Each time a "positive" interaction occurs, it's like putting money in the bank. Each time a "corrective" or "negative" interaction occurs, it's like taking money out. And you know what happens when more money is taken out of your bank account than deposited! But instead of monetary withdrawal fees, this comes at the expense of morale, increased behavioral issues, and decreased performance.

Positive student relationships are fundamental to success in public education.?No academic or behavioral system within the building will produce the desired outcomes without good relationships.?Like the adults in the building, when students feel supported, they’re more likely to enjoy school, engage in learning, and reach their potential. Moreover, when students have positive interactions with teachers, administrators, and staff, they have far fewer behavioral problems.?The result: a positive climate and culture characterized by an increased love for learning and academic achievement!

Behavior Solutions Grounded in Behavioral Science

As you can see, it all comes back to behavior. At PCMA, we are proud of the fact that our Training Solutions are grounded in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), the science of human behavior for improving behavioral outcomes. If you are interested in having your staff trained in behavior and crisis management rooted in ABA, or you would like to learn simple strategies for improving behavior and morale while reducing crisis-level behaviors, go to crisisintervention.com to find out how you can become a PCM or EveryDay BehaviorTools Instructor today!

By the way, if you'd like to learn more about Applied Behavior Analysis and why it is essential to improving behavioral and learning outcomes in schools,?check out our latest video below, and be sure to subscribe to our channel!

About the Author

Specializing in human performance, coaching, and organizational leadership, Dr. Paul "Paulie" Gavoni is a behavior scientist and educator who has worked across education and human services for almost three decades. In this capacity, he has served the needs of children and adults through various positions, including COO, Vice President, Director of School Improvement, Leadership Director, Professor, Assistant Principal, School Turnaround Manager, Clinical Coordinator, Therapist, District Behavior Analyst, and Director of Progam Development and Public Relations at?PCMA. Dr. Gavoni is passionate about applying Organizational Behavior Management (OBM), or the science of human behavior, to make a positive difference in establishing safe, productive, and engaging environments that bring out the best in faculty and staff so they can bring out the best in the learners they serve. He is an active board member of the?Opioid Awareness Foundation?and?World Behavior Analysis Day Alliance.

Known for his authenticity and practical approaches, Dr. Gavoni is the host of the Top 1.5% globally ranked?Crisis in Education Podcast?and a sought-out speaker at various Educational and Behavior Analytic Conferences Internationally. He a the Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-selling co-author of The Scientific Laws of Life & Leadership: Behavioral Karma; Quick Wins! Accelerating School Transformation through Science, Engagement, and Leadership; Deliberate Coaching: A Toolbox for Accelerating Teacher Performance; and MMA Science: A Training, Coaching, and Belt Ranking Guide. Dr. Gavoni is proud to introduce OBM and Applied Behavior Analysis to worldwide audiences through his numerous publications and his work with PCMA to create productive, safe, and positive cultures.

Beyond his work in education and human services, Dr. Gavoni is also a former Golden Gloves Heavyweight Champion and a highly respected striking coach in combat sports. Coach “Paulie Gloves,” as he is known in the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) community, has trained world champions and UFC vets using technologies rooted in the behavioral sciences. Coach Paulie has been featured in the books?Beast: Blood, Struggle, and Dreams a the Heart of Mixed Martial Arts, A Fighter’s Way, and the featured article Ring to Cage:?How four former boxers help mold MMA’s finest. He is also an author who has written extensively for various online magazines such as Scifighting, Last Word on Sports, and Bloody Elbow, where his?Fight Science series?continues to bring behavioral science to MMA. Finally, Paulie was also a featured fighter in FX’s highest-rated show at the time, The Toughman, and as an MMA coach in the Lifetime reality series?Leave it to Geege.