Improving Leadership Mindset with Positive Self-talk

Do you sometimes hear yourself say “I can’t do this”? Whether it is a new #challenge or a new work setting, leaders are bound to feel the same kind of emotions as their colleagues or employees due to prolonged stress.

The only difference here is that employees are looking up to their leaders for direction and their own reactions will dictate how employees regulate their emotions.

So, what can be done differently in uncomfortable situations to better regulate reactions and emotions?

Utilize positive talking when conversing with yourself. Sounds simple enough, right?

Several studies have concluded that positive self-talk can enhance mental well-being, reduce anxiety and enhance performance. If you often find yourself saying I don’t think I can handle this, the following three tips might be for you.

Go from “I, me, myself” to “you/your”

It has been found that people who talk to themselves in the second person are able to regulate their emotions and thoughts better than those who use first person language. Instead of saying “I’ve got this”, try saying “you’ve got this, XYZ”. The study How Do You Talk to Yourself? – The Effects of Pronoun Usage and Interpersonal Qualities of Self Talk that found this also reported that people who used “you/your” pronouns to talk to themselves:

·???????Reported quicker recovery from stressors

·???????Were less stressed

·???????Viewed situations as challenges instead of threats; and

·???????Created better first impressions

Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a close friend?

Self-talk can be classified as either constructive or dysfunctional. Constructive self-talk includes thoughts that are insightful, positive, motivational, and self-reflective. While dysfunctional self-talk includes thoughts that are negative, self-critical, and fail to view challenges as learning opportunities.

People who practice constructive self-talk are more likely to be creative and have better leadership capabilities than those who practice dysfunctional self-talk. Dysfunctional self-talk can instead make it difficult for people to embrace change and may make them view obstacles as threats.

So even if you talk to yourself negatively, don’t say anything that you wouldn’t to a close friend. When talking to a friend, the language used is kind and compassionate. The same is required in self-talk to support yourself.

Be mindful of distorted thoughts

Our thoughts can easily get distorted, especially in times of stress. Distortion of thoughts can happen in 3 ways.

·???????Catastrophizing: This kind of distortion immediately shifts the mind to think about the worst possible scenario. (For example - all of this is going to fail if I don’t do XYZ.)

·???????Black and White Scenario: It distorts the thoughts to make us feel that it can either be this or that. (For example – What’s the point of this opportunity if I can’t communicate.)

·???????Overgeneralizing: This distortion leads to drawing blanket statements or generalizing everything based on one situation. (For example – He’s always angry.)

Distorted thoughts can negatively impact the decisions leaders take since they are based on perceptions that are not accurate. Moreover, they can experience higher levels of stress and anxiety if these thought patterns are not intercepted at the right time. CCL’s research on rumination found that leaders who had more distorted thoughts were more likely to experience burnout.

Increasing awareness of your thoughts and keeping a check on self-talk patterns can significantly improve mental and emotional well-being and improve performance. It is a good idea to be mindful of how we talk to ourselves as increased awareness can stop negative thoughts from dominating the mind.

As the usage of positive self-talk increases, emotions will be well-regulated and newer perspectives will be visible to approach situations differently.