Improv Your Listening Skills Through Force

It's so much easier to tell other people to do things than to it myself! I suppose that's true for you too. But I'm the only person I can change. And guess what? You are the only person you can change as well!

So if you want to be a better listener, you need to do the work!

And I promised two weeks ago to give you a trick to help force you to listen when you're at work. This isn't a game (although you can certainly play it as a game!). It is a tool you can use when you find yourself letting your mind wander or when you realize you're focusing on your response instead of listening.

Ready?

It's a spin on the Headlines game. Instead this time, instead of repeating the last word as your first word, you're going to start your sentence with the last letter of the last word of your partner's last sentence.

It goes like this:

Me: Can you tell me what happened in the breakroom on 27 November?

You: Really important that I share the information accurately. I was in the breakroom with Bob, Jan, and Steve. We were all eating lunch.

Me: How were things going?

You: Going great until Darius walked in. He started screaming about the situation in the Middle East! We were all shocked!

Me: Do you remember what he said?

You: Do I ever!....

Now, of course, this is with both people "playing," which wouldn't happen in a real workplace conversation. But you can do it on your own.

People have questions about this. I'll answer them.

FAQs

Isn't this a bit ridiculous? What if they end their sentences with a word like "box?" I can't possibly start my sentence with "x-ray" or "xylophone" without looking like a complete tool.

Looks like you're a little hostile this morning! See what I did there? Keep the goal in mind. Your goal isn't to play a game; it's to force yourself to listen to the end. So if they end with Box, feel free to ignore that particular sentence and say whatever you want to say. But the point is, you waited until your partner finished speaking before you started speaking.

Won't they notice what I'm doing? It's really weird.

Do you think they aren't focused on what they are going to do next? Of course, they are and so it's unlikely they will notice. And if they notice and comment, explain why you're doing it. "I really wanted to listen to every word you say. Doing this keeps me focused on what you are saying."

Won't this cause uncomfortable pauses?

Sure. But that's to an advantage in an HR situation anyway. We don't like pauses--it's not part of US culture. So, if you're interviewing someone--whether as a job candidate or as part of an investigation--pauses make them keep speaking, and you might learn something they wouldn't otherwise volunteer.

In normal conversations, we start with words like "the, a, what, and when." Most words don't end with t, a, and w. I'm telling you, this is bonkers.

What should you do in this situation? Remember, the goal. You aren't playing a game--you are communicating. Use your article or question word, and then have the next word start with the first letter of their last word.

You made up these FAQs, didn't you? Because no one uses the word bonkers but you.

Undoubtedly true! Hopefully this helps. I swear it will. It will help train you to focus, which is what listening is all about.