Impressionable

The other day, Google Maps (of all things) told me, "Did you want to review the Casa Maria restaurant? After all, you're in the top 10 restaurant reviewers in your area." I had no idea. Wow. Me. A top 10 restaurant reviewer. Why yes, I said. I would love to give my well-thought-out and considered review of Casa Maria, for the sake of prospective guests and also so that I might help the restaurant thrive in the future. Let me get right on that. (And I did, by the way. After all, I'm a top 10. In my area.)

What We Say Carries

I'll disclaimer this one to say that I am very impressionable. Not everyone is. Some people can't hear what others share. And honestly, I should also say that what my limited and imperfect practice of Buddhism has taught me is to neither accept criticism nor praise.

But with my word outgoing, I work to keep it as positive as possible. Because good or bad, sometimes we'll say something in passing and someone else will stick those words to them like a forever bonded truth.

If someone tells you that you're bad at math, you'll believe it. You'll reinforce it. You'll glue on more and more proof that confirms that identity. You're bad at math.

If someone tells you that you're the future of the company, you might believe that. You'll work towards being the best version of that. You'll lead others towards that goal.

What we tell someone else can stick right to them.

You've learned a little about this

Someone along the line the last few years has told you to criticize the behavior and not the person. That's smart advice. You never know just how badly a direct criticism could stick, and tying it to the person and not the behavior means you've made an identity judgment, not just a point about performance.

But that's the negative side of the equation. And it's great advice.

For the positive side of the equation, I really really really like reminding people how great and worthy they are. I think that's because so many people went through life without those words. Not everyone received a whole lot of praise growing up. Not everyone gets enough praise now.

It's the good kind of impression to remind people that they're worth it.

I'm so impressionable

I mean it. If Burger King flashes me a Whopper on Reddit or something, I'll want one. If I see someone's art exhibit, I want to do art like that. I love picking up things from all over. If I hear some folk music, I think about how there should be more folk music in the world. If I read a book by some really accomplished person, I think about the ways I could try the same.

I just finished Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara, and of course, I need to open a Michelin Star restaurant in New York. Right?

Only, I know that what I can best do are take all these impressions and point them towards the goals of the business I serve, and the other projects I like to do.

And when I see these moments of greatness, it reminds me to call them out when I see them in others.

Praise isn't enough, but it's a great additional ingredient

If you lead people by praise, you're asking for problems. People need directives, coaching, reinforcement, all kinds of things. So many. You can't eat praise.

However, once you've given people a whole lot of the materials they can use to form themselves into a great version of themselves, a dash of praise might give them a sneak preview of where they're headed. That's the best use of a little praise.

Listen to my advice. After all, I'm a top 10 restaurant reviewer in my area.

Chris...