Imposter Syndrome - The Right Amount is Good for You

In my coaching practice working with elite athletes and executives, the theme of Imposter Syndrome is raised ALL OF THE TIME. I have had so many questions and conversations around this topic, leading psychologist Dr Nicola Gates and I dedicated a podcast to it.?

Total absence of imposter syndrome puts you at total risk of being a narcissistic arse hole. Too much of it is debilitating. I’ve come to learn the right amount is like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, “and this amount of imposter syndrome is juuuuust right.”??

But how do you determine ‘the right amount?’??

?Phone Conversation last week?

My phone rang and it was Paul Devlin, strength and conditioning guru and Global Sports BD at Amazon Web Services.?

Paul: “Maysie, are you free tomorrow night mate? AWS have a function with our high-end clients at Accor Stadium and unfortunately Cam Smith can’t make it. Iven Cleary is also unavailable. Do you think you’d be able to do a Q&A with me?”?

Me (response inside my head): “Borderline panic attack.??

Cam Smith played 430 games, is a two-time Dally M Medal winner, 3-time premiership winning captain of Melbourne Storm, future Immortal, and an absolute legend of the game.?

Iven Cleary played 186 NRL games, is a 3 times NRL premiership winning coach with the Penrith Panthers and is an absolute legend of the game.?

And me? My highlights package is scoring two try’s playing Rugby League for the Yass Magpies under 13’s.??

What the f*ck am I going to deliver compared to two absolute legends of the game? And how disappointed will the fervent footy fans be when a shiny-headed, former middle-distance runner takes centre stage…”?

?Me (actual response): “Um, yeah mate. I am available tomorrow night. But what on earth do you want me to talk about and compared to those two legends, am I really going to be able to offer your audience value?”?

?Paul: “Maysie, you know your stuff backwards buddy. And I have a feeling our corporate audience will take as much, if not more, from your Q&A, as you can not only share examples from elite sport but, also connect it to the experience you have coaching CEO’s and senior executives.”?

?Understanding Imposter Syndrome?

Two clinical psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes, first identified and named the phenomenon back in 1978. Imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high performing in external, objective ways. Imposter Syndrome results in people feeling like "a fraud" or "a phony" and doubting their abilities.?

The imposter phenomenon stems from a sense of inadequacy in the environment despite objectively being competent.? It isn't about assessing the situation but about assessing yourself.???

What Causes it??

Imposter syndrome is a?cognitive distortion causing people to doubt their skills and accomplishments. They doubt others’ high regard for them. They doubt their own history and track record.?Research shows it comes from a combination of factors including family environment, social pressures, sense of belonging, and personality.??

Research has shown there is a relationship between impostor phenomenon and overprotective parent(s) or legal guardian(s)1, racial identities1, attribution style2, anxiety and depression. low trait self-esteem3, perfectionism3, and an excessive self-monitoring, with an emphasis on self-worth4.?

?Characteristics:?

• Self-doubt?

• High levels of achievement?

• Tendency to deny ability and attribute success to luck, mistakes, overwork, contacts?

• Discounting of praise, feeling fear and guilt about success?

• Fear of failure and being discovered as a fraud?

• Not feeling intelligent?

• Perfectionism?

• Overestimating others, while underestimating yourself?

• Not experiencing an internal feeling of success?

• Overworking or self-sabotage to cover the feelings of inadequacy?

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Overcoming Imposter Syndrome:?

An article in HBR outlines it is important to:??

??Recognise imposter feelings when they emerge. Awareness is the first step to change, so ensure you track these thoughts: what they are and when they emerge.?

??Rewrite mental programs. Instead of telling yourself they are going to find you out, remind yourself it’s normal not to know everything??

??Talk about your feelings. It’s better to have an open dialogue rather than harbour negative thoughts alone?

??Reframe context. Most people will have experience where they don’t feel 100% confident. Reframe saying: “the fact that I feel useless right now does not mean that I really am.”?

??Be kind to yourself. Remember it is ok to make small mistakes along the way, then reward yourself for getting the big things right.?

??Visualise success. Keep your eye on the outcome – completing the task or making the presentation, which will keep you focused and calm?

??Seek support. If it is debilitating and impacting your personal and/or professional life, find a coach or psychologist to help you harness the benefits, and mitigate the barriers?

Back to the Q&A:?

30 mins before taking centre stage, I sat down and reviewed my high-level notes and indicative questions. And just like I do before appearing on live TV, I answered a bunch of questions out loud, warming up my brain. I reminded myself that the right amount of Imposter Syndrome is healthy, and it means I am stepping out of my comfort zone. It means that I care.?

After Paul’s introduction, we launched into an engaging dialogue and 25 minutes passed very quickly. There were a bunch of great questions form the audience and I forgot about the self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy that had surfaced back in that original phone call.??

As we transitioned to watching the Rabbitohs play Storm, I had several engaging conversations with attendees and Amazonian staff. And we have already had a few enquiries about booking me to speak at upcoming events.?

Stretch, Reflect, Grow?

Writing this post has helped made me understand the process I now use to step out of your comfort zone, and at the same time not drain too much energy.??

• At first your primitive, survival brain will freak out. Accept this?

• Talk it out, ideally with someone else or use a journal, this helps break the automatic negative thoughts and unhelpful rumination?

• Remind yourself feeling nervous is good for you. It means you care, and it means you are being stretched?

• Doing the right amount of ‘reps and sets’ beforehand builds memory links to draw upon?

• Reflect on previous experiences where you felt uncomfortable and how this led to growth?

• Take a big breath, soak in the moment, and enjoy feeling alive?

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