Imposter Syndrome? Let's stop being a prisoner of how we define ourselves.

"I have imposter syndrome."

I’ve said this a few times over the past 16 months, with no small amount of surprise. I've always been able to rely on my confidence and boldness. Ok, yes, even opinionated brashness at times. ???? Suffice it to say that in the tally of my strengths and limitations, confidence was always in the plus column. Today, not so much.

But I’ve also heard concerns about having imposter syndrome from more friends, clients, and students than I can count.

Doubting your abilities, having a hard time acknowledging accomplishments, not taking pride in recognition, and sometimes feeling like a fraud are fairly common feelings; a theme amongst high-achieving professionals, especially women (more on that below). Countless talented women, including my personal heroes Michelle Obama and Christine Lagarde, have reported feeling it.

Lumping all these feelings together as ‘imposter syndrome’ has been a useful construct to explain our experiences and understand our feelings.

But I’m over it.

‘Syndrome’ sounds like a disorder; a dysfunction.

When we're experiencing self-doubt, we can often feel 'less than', unwhole, and more vulnerable. Mental health is on a roller coaster as it is, why add to this burden?

The feelings characterized as imposter syndrome seem incredibly common and normal today.

Over the past two years, we’ve all become distanced from how we define ourselves as workers, parents, partners, and friends. We’ve become disassociated from our traditional self-image, our go-to view of self.

Imposter syndrome is a human issue.

Imposter syndrome is most often described as a female issue. This characterization is beyond unfortunate. As Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey have said, “Imposter syndrome puts the blame on individuals, without accounting for the historical and cultural contexts that are foundational in how it manifests in both women of color and white women.”

We don’t need one more negative and subjective female leadership trait to discuss in talent review meetings. We don’t need one more characteristic with which to judge women differently, and more harshly, than men.

And as an aside, it’s not solely a female issue. I’ve known a number of men who express these same feelings. ‘Imposter Syndrome’ is a state of mind that most self-aware women and men can relate to.

'Imposter syndrome' is a label and labels are harmful.

• Labels influence how we behave.
• Labels limit how we think about and define ourselves.
• Labels can compromise our growth and interactions with others.

Defining the many flavors of self-doubt we experience as ‘imposter syndrome’ is to over-simplify and mask the underlying issues and concerns. It ignores the normal ebb and flow of confidence as we tackle the challenges we face, many for the first time these past two years.

In reality, we are a sea of identities and labels that shift daily, even hourly. Over-identification with a label, any label, will inhibit possibilities.

So what do we do to move past this self-doubt? First, let’s understand our pattern of thinking. With a nod to the psychologist, Steven C. Hayes, these three questions may help.

??Do I experience a lack of confidence everywhere? Where do I feel most confident?

??Do I experience a lack of confidence with everyone? With whom do I feel most confident?

??Do I experience a lack of confidence all the time? When do I feel most confident?

Answering these questions can help us understand that our identity and level of confidence are not fixed.

It also helps us identify strengths, values, and situational variables we can lean into. How can we bring more of what makes us comfortable, heard, and assured, into those situations where we feel uncomfortable, unseen, unheard, and insecure?

The opportunities and choices to develop and hold onto greater confidence are in front of us. They are not always obvious, but they are always there.

“I have imposter syndrome.” Yes. After all, I'm human. Can we please just call it normal?

#iamprofessional #impostersyndrome #mentalhealth #leadership #thefemalelead #chief #leadershipcoaching