An Impossible Encounter.

A V Ram Mohan.


It was a glorious pre-summer day in Nellikuppam in the late 1960’s. The clay tennis court in the Wright Club was bathed in the golden rays of a setting sun. Fully grown, tall sugar-cane plants across the side wall were swaying in the gentle breeze. All in all, it was a perfect evening to be outdoors. An earnest young man of about sixteen years was flipping through the pages of LIFE magazine marvelling at the black and white photographs. From time to time he was checking to see if his friend Kin-Kin had arrived so that they could start playing. The young man was a typical of the example of sixty’s youth from the middle classes: keen, optimistic, belief in the power of hard work, vulnerable to passing phases, unquestioned faith in the value of knowledge and so on. You get the point of course.

The young man grew tired of waiting and was about to walk away. He heard a mild rustling noise beside him, and spotted an elderly gentleman approaching him and taking a seat next to him on the wooden bench. Well-preserved for a man over sixty years, with clear eyes and unlined face, the gentleman had a strange feel to him. His clothes and shoes were clearly from a different age, but there was something strangely familiar about the way he was turning his head while addressing the young man. ‘Waiting for Kin-Kin, aren’t you? He is coming a bit late today, got held up at home doing home-work’. The young man was startled. ‘Don’t look so surprised, my dear fellow, I know a lot about you’ the elderly gentlemen went on. 

Once the ice was thus broken, both men became chatty and passed time by talking about many things. While the young man was eyeing the elderly man with unalloyed curiosity wondering where he had seen him before, the gentleman seemed to want to take the younger man under his wing and be a life guide to him. Naturally the discussion turned towards life’s lessons and how to navigate the unknowable future. ‘What would you do differently if you were to start all over again?’ the younger man was bold enough to ask his new companion. ‘Based on what I experience all these years and what I do know now after several encounters with ups and downs of life, there are only a handful of do’s and don’t’s to deal with today’s existence, and these rules come out of a larger all-encompassing theme. But, I must caution you, young man, they are not easy rules to follow. They may even cause a lot of hardship if you do follow them, but they would lead you to a fulfilled life ultimately. I am not even sure that you are ready for them and that I must share them with you now’

Such open reluctance spiked the young man’s curiosity even more, and he begged the elderly gentleman to continue, and spell out what he should look out for as he steps into the real world. So encouraged the older man started speaking at length:

‘Lesson number one, is not to be over-awed by big-name institutions and to keep a clear, well-grounded perspective of what value these top institutions confer on individuals. For example, all around us we see people getting impressed by degrees from exalted institutions, such as Harvard, IIT, IIM and so on. People assume automatically, against evidence to the contrary, that everyone from such famous colleges or universities possess universally great knowledge or exceptional human qualities to enable them to succeed. Such is not the case, since what is true in particular cases is not universally true. Putting such elite institutions such as universities, companies and even countries on a pedestal, is completely against rational evaluation of what constitutes good in society. By surrendering top positions in society, unquestioningly, to members of an elite community to come out of such select institutions we create false gods amongst ourselves, and we make our youth pursue wrong or patently unworthy objectives in life. Even more ridiculous is the modern tendency to rank such institutions on some seemingly objective but actually, mindless parameters, and to purse the top ranked schools with such tenacity as if all other goals are worthless. Good quality is to be found in every place if you look carefully enough and not just in well-known and reputed places. Be wary when somebody flashes a stellar bio-data at you.


Point number two, is to select carefully whom to admire and whom to detest, and not to surrender our judgement to external forces in the media which promote some people without merit and denounce some others without cause. The modern phenomenon of celebrity journalism imputes great qualities to popular icons who may not fully deserve such adulation. Over the long term, however, false heroes are found out, but by that time enough damage has been done. For example, for over forty years Milton Friedman and Eugene Fama ruled the roost in economics and financial theory; but nowadays their free market theories and efficient market hypothesis are lying among the ruins of recent financial collapse. In this time, more than a generation of economists and financial market practitioners have invested their entire intellectual existence to these policies, only to be discredited later on. Closer to home and among our heroes in business and industry, many of them promoted by the business press, have since been shown to have feet of clay. Don’t therefore give your loyalty and unquestioned admiration to someone without first examining the underlying reasons why they deserve them. Perhaps it is altogether a good idea to keep a good distance from the big shots.

Three, know that talking is easy, but doing is difficult. With the advent of power point, blog posts and several online media we are nowadays surrounded by various versions of speech making. We automatically equate good speech makers to good executors of such ideas, but sadly that is not true. There is an inverse correlation between those who speak well for public consumption and those who execute things for a living. Words are certainly not deeds, and don’t mix up these two things. It is difficult not to be enslaved by compelling prose or powerfully spoken words, but they really do not indicate an action-orientation on the part of speaker or writer; may be just the opposite.

Finally, do not take others’ words of admiration, advice or particularly criticisms too seriously or too literally. Most comments, including harsh words about you, your behaviour or your abilities, are not done after a careful analysis of facts. People criticise others from a lofty vantage point, and not necessarily after going through the circumstances of the other party being so slandered. Many people go into the deep end about what others would say or think about them, and not do things which would indeed be helpful to themselves or further their own cause. One would do well to filter all words of advice or criticisms through a filter of rationality before conceding there is an element of truth in them. In other words, don’t be governed by the value systems of the society outside which has largely no continued interest in you except feeling superior to you for the moment.

What then is the over-arching theme behind all these rules? Learn to train your mind to evaluate every bit of information passing through it: information about institutions, people, streams of words and society’s views and strictures. A trained mind would not follow rote acceptance of what is presented in front of it, but would steadily question their basis or their true foundation before forming an opinion or even acceptance of outside thought. With so much of information coursing around us through the internet, a twenty first century version of scepticism is what is needed to stop us from worshipping false gods. This is exactly what is meant by living life on one’s own terms’.

By this time the young man was getting confused by all this talk, since it was the first time he was hearing words like internet and blog posts. ‘Why is this nice man talking of twenty-first century already?’ he was thinking to himself. Nearer the end of his long speech, the elderly gentleman was wildly gesticulating with his arms. A scar in his left fore-arm, remnants of a burn injury long time ago, came into view. The young man twisted his own arm to see an identical scar of his own. He simply could not believe what was happening. He began to wonder just who this elderly gentleman was. ‘Could it possibly be…, No it is simply not possible’ he was telling himself.

Just then Kin-Kin strolled in with his Dunlop Maxply racket. The earnest young man turned around wanting to take leave. He was stunned. His new friend was walking away in strides which looked very familiar, in fact very much like his own gait.


A V Ram Mohan. 16/02/2017

(Written for my children in a way it doesn't sound like advice, and so they would take it seriously)

Karthikeyan R

CEO & Managing Director - Trustee at WORTH TRUST - A Sixty years old organization with a Unique Self Sustaining model in the cause of Rehabilitation, Education, Training, Employment and Empowerment of Differently Abled.

4 年

Profound ...Felt every word.

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Vivek Shevade

at Vivek Shevade Consulting

4 年

Enjoyed your article, Ram! Loved the concept - not only of the story, but also the words of wisdom and how to convey them!

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Nicely written Ramu. Enjoyed reading it. Good piece of advice for all.

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Rohit Thomas

Business Transformation I Strategy I Marketing

4 年

Candidly written piece.

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Sivakumar Ramanathan

General Manager Finance at Edwardian Group, London

4 年

Very nice portrayal of thoughts.

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