It is important when to stop arguing

I would like to share some wise statements of one of the wisest men of India , Swami Vivekanand said - “ You cannot educate fools “, the moment I read that I could not digest for I felt swami spread education and wanted to make every one education so I questioned one of the seniors in Ramkrishna Mission at Belur math which is the original head quarters of Ramkrishna Mission and Swami Vivekanand’s abode till he lived and he answered and educated me that one who is blind to logic, not ready to listen, nor has desire to learn or correct is the true fool un mindful of his / her gender, age, experience and history - in the view of the senior at Ramkrishna Mission - learning is a continuous process of listening , learning and embracing new logical, changes positively .

I went on to face as a teacher in times ahead to the same phenomenon earlier learned, as very close and seemingly well educated relatives and colleague closed their ears and eyes to logical wisdom and the entire efforts of committed work of years was put on altar of fire - to remind me not to argue with such nincompoops who were now few more mislead by the manipulative and cunning game player . I stopped arguing for after wasting years I found a dead end wall and thus learned what swami had read years ago .

I went on to be patient and directed my energy to positive efforts , strengthened my work and initiated written communication instead of verbal to avoid arguments and be specific and more focused of what I wanted to communicate in the best of respectful language - I resolved the dead lock and also accepted that I must not be persistent in expecting wisdom or my logical ways to find success - there are alternative solutions of directing my energy to happy issues and activities in life .

So I now advise - embrace wisdom and move on with life avoid arguments learn to gain symmetry - use written communication certainly ten times more effective if read - the tone , the message the positivity reaches its goal - why then argue leave written evidence that you stopped them from being wrong and let destiny takes it shape - the almighty will bless you for sure.

I would say try to avoid arguing all times in life. Why to argue, when you can put forth your opinions without getting into argument. But, you can chose to argue only when you know you are facing the matured person who limits to the topic and forgets it post argument. A healthy argument. As per my understanding of human psychology, most of the times people argue put of ego to prove we are correct or to prove the other person is wrong. If one can overcome the Ego, we become wise to save our mental energy over trivial arguments.

Actually, I would suggest taking a look at why you have a need to “be right”. What does it actually bring you? What is the prize for being “right” in any argument? There is only one prize: an elevated Ego. And only you can experience it. To answer your question, ceasing to argue should happen when emotions enter into the argument. If both Egos are vying to “be right” then flared emotions are usually a red flag of when to stop.

In order to know when it is better to continue an argument and when it is better to stop, you must have a sufficient level of emotional intelligence to maintain awareness of both your own and your interlocutor’s means the one you’re speaking with emotions as well as being able to manage your emotions and being in position of sufficient relationship management skills to assess the productivity of further conversation.

There is a phenomenon known colloquially as “flooding” in interpersonal relationships — technically it is called Diffuse Physiological Arousal (DPA). It occurs at the point in an argument when your heart rate speeds up, blood flow to your gut and kidneys slows down, adrenaline starts to pump — you’re on your way to a full blown “fight or flight” fear response. Any time you are arguing with someone and your heart rate gets to 100 beats a minute — it is safe to assume you are “flooded.” Once someone is flooded and you just can’t process social interaction.

Different people may have different physical signs they notice that tip them off to being flooded — you may find yourself unable to focus, or your skin gets blotchy, or tears form in your eyes, or you just find yourself shutting down. The signs are obvious for some, while others have to pay more attention. n any case, that’s the point at which there is no point in further discussion of the topic in the present moment.

It takes a minimum of 20 minutes to return to emotional baseline once you’ve been floodedand it can take up to 24 hours. One recovers from being flooded by self-soothing. If you break off the argument, but then spend your time stewing over it, planning what you will say next, etc….you are just maintaining your flooded state and nothing else, cheers!