Is it important to have your own house in order before you help others organise theirs?

We're always told on take-off as the plane prepares to exit the runway that we should always assist ourselves in the event of an emergency and put our own oxygen mask on first before we aim to help anyone else (even our own children).

The theory being that if we don't help ourselves first are we lowering our chances of being in the best place to help other people?

Is this really the case? And how easy is this to do in reality?

If you're a dietician should you always eat well? If you are a financial adviser should you have a healthy bank balance? If you are a hairdresser should you always don a stylish hairdo? If you are a fitness instructor should you have the perfect figure and BNI? I guess this debate goes on in all sectors and will continue to until the cows come home.

Here's a summary of the pros and cons of the discussions I've been part of over the years with other therapists, particularly in relation to whether an overweight therapist should be treating an overweight client who wants to lose weight...

Pros

• It's not necessary to be able to practice what we preach so long as we can preach it well to others
• There may be reasons why our home is out of order and these reasons may be beyond our control e.g., medical/genetic issues but does this make us a badly placed therapist?
• An overweight therapist understands and empathizes well with the plight of an overweight client. A slim therapist won't be able to understand the problems faced by an overweight client (inability to empathize well)
• If a therapist doesn't have a problem with it why should it matter?
• A client may feel more comfortable about being less judged by the therapist
• By treating clients with similar issues, a therapist may find the therapy they give starts to have a positive effect on themselves too
• Like attracts like (The law of attraction) and clients will achieve more gain if they trust and like the person they are working with
• Therapists are individuals and bring with them a special set of skills. If they are passionate and knowledgeable about their work and are able to help others, that's all that matters
• One therapist could be overweight and be feeling sad with low energy and little hope for her future, whilst another therapist of similar weight may have fun, be lively, energetic, love life and be in a great place personally. Isn't it then about the state of mind rather than the state of body?
• It didn't matter so long as rapport was in place (Unconditional Positive Regard & the core conditions of therapy are present)

Cons

• Being a good role model is important for influencing others if we haven't got our act together how and why should we expect the client to?
• The therapist can appear less credible and seem unlikely to be the best person to help if they have the same problem
• Wouldn't the therapist just collude with the client and 'let them off the hook'? After all, isn't therapy about being honest with people too and facing up to our demons?
• The therapist may avoid certain strategies with the client because they wouldn't want to go there themselves
• Many therapies require students to have self-therapy before they can graduate, how can someone help if he or she are not in a good place to help themselves?
• It's unprofessional to be displaying the problem the client has presented with as it shows incompetence on their part

So as you can see a wide range of opinions has been expressed here just from practitioners in a single profession. Take this onto the streets or into other professions and I guess the variety of comments would be astonishing. What's your take on this? Do you think it's necessary/important to have your own house in order before you help others to organise theirs? Please share your views.

Karen is a productivity coach and advanced hypnotherapist, and co-founder of the?Academy of Advanced Changework, a hypnotherapy and NLP academy providing training from beginner to advanced practitioner.

Her Academy provides?attended Diploma courses in Hypnotherapy & NLP on the Sunshine Coast, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Melbourne, Perth & Sydney, Australia, and a range of online & distance CPD courses internationally, including an?Advanced Diploma?in Hypnotherapy?course?for qualified hypnotherapists and?'How to Change a Habit, Phobia or Compulsion'

Are you a qualified hypnotherapist ready to take your hypnotherapy know-how to an advanced level? Find out more about our internationally recognised Advanced Diploma in Hypnotherapy for qualified hypnotherapists by downloading a Free copy of ‘The Advanced Hypnotherapist’ https://eepurl.com/c-Bqsn written and published by Karen Bartle MSc, and Dr Paul Peace.