The Important of being yourself

From the time we were young, we may have been taught that we are not enough as we are. People would not accept us the way we are. They wanted us to think, look and behave in different ways. It is fundamental human desire for connection and social relationships because we are, at our core, relational beings. Many of us chose to compromise, afraid that we would otherwise be left alone, isolated and helpless.

So we had to find ways to convince those around us that we are worth their friendship and act in certain ways to please others. In other words, we had to pretend. We may have learnt to cover ourselves well with the veil of pretense. As adults, we may have a dozen masks to hand. Behind every mask lies a deep-rooted fear: the fear to express yourself and reveal to others who you truly are. When we blend in and try to be what we think others want, our life doesn’t feel very satisfactory because, well, it’s not our life. It’s based on a fake version of us.

Do we really have to ask ourselves whether we’re happy? The truth is, something inside of us already knows the answer if we have to ask the question in the first place. When we’re genuinely happy, we know. When we are not, we know that, too. Exposing our true selves, fully embracing our deepest desires, and facing our fears requires a tremendous amount of courage. Many of us have been trying to please others for such a long time, that we may have forgotten who we are and what is truly important to us. We have forgotten how to express ourselves, to be spontaneous and to recognize what we truly enjoy doing.