The Importance of Small Connections

The Importance of Small Connections

How long has it been since you reached out to a friend - just because?

A few months ago, I was sitting in a meeting when the thought popped into my head, "Call John."?

I hadn't spoken to John in over 20 years. What would we talk about? How would I even start the conversation?

Still, the thought persisted until I could no longer ignore it, so I pulled out my phone. To my surprise, he answered.

"Hey, John. It's Greg. I know it's been a long time..."

And despite our prolonged lack of communication, I was amazed at how quickly the awkwardness faded into the background, and we were just friends talking again.?

In a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Psychology, researchers found that?even simple connections, like the kind I had with John, may be more essential and more appreciated than we think.?

Researchers found the receiver of these small connections reported feeling far more appreciative than the giver expected. And what's more, the connection meant even more when the connection was unexpected, which might explain why I felt so apprehensive about reaching out to John, but soon we were talking like old friends (1) (2).

There are lots of reasons we may feel uncomfortable in reaching out. Maybe you're like me and are embarrassed at the communication gap you have allowed to grow.?Perhaps you feel vulnerable in other ways.?

No matter the reason, there is nothing more essential in our lives than relationships. And there is nothing more essential to relationships than communication.

This time of year, our thoughts often turn to gifts and giving. Your friendship, your connection - reaching out and letting someone know they matter to you -?is one of the best gifts you can give.?

(1)?Apa.org. (2022). [online] Available at: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/psp-pspi0000402.pdf.

(2)?Pearson, C. (2022). Text Your Friends. It Matters More Than You Think. The New York Times. [online] 11 Jul. Available at: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/11/well/family/check-in-text-friendship.html.

Listen

The Greg McKeown Podcast

"In some ways all of us are waiting all of the time for someone to be interested in us, for someone to really see us, to really hear us, to know that we really matter, and [this] one word shift...can do the trick."?

Learn how to communicate at deeper levels by adding one word to an everyday question in the latest episode of The Greg McKeown Podcast. You can?listen here .?

Expand what you’re learning. Explore the?show notes ?and access all the episode’s big ideas, tools, and resources.

?Learn

If You Want People to Listen, Stop Talking

"Because it was clear [he] had heard them, people did not argue with him. And, because he had heard them, his perspective was the wisest in the room."?

In his article published for?Harvard Business Review,?Peter Bregman, bestselling author and CEO of the executive coaching company Bregman Partners,?explains how the most influential leaders are counterintuitively able to effect change not through their words, but through deep listening. You can read the article?here .

?Weekly Wisdom

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”?― George Bernard Shaw

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