The Importance of Setting Boundaries on LinkedIn

There was someone in the customer success community whom I added to my network last year. 

He messaged me continuously on LinkedIn, and often his messages didn't have anything to do with customer success or needing help as he initially approached me. 

He would message me and say things such as "...I am not so sure if I should get on one knee and present you with a 10 carrot ?? diamond ring..." send me heart emojis, and regular "check-in" messages. 

Most of the time, I ignored his messages or reported them to LinkedIn only for them to tell me his message(s) weren't in violation. LinkedIn could do better and have human eyes viewing these types of reports or adjust their AI.

The final straw was when he sent me a message on LinkedIn at 2:13 am on Saturday and asked could he call me next week. 

I had enough and decided to block and report him again on LinkedIn. 

After blocking him, I thought I would never hear from him again. 

Well, I was wrong. He went on my website and sent me a message with his phone number and asked that I call him.

Then hours later, he somehow found my business phone number and called me. I missed the call and called back, not knowing it was him, and when he told me his name, let's say I wasn't a nice person. 

He got an ear full from me because this behavior isn't something I tolerate, and he crossed the line.

I never met him, never exchanged phone numbers, never talked to him on the phone, nor did I know him personally.

I just simply accepted his invite request on LinkedIn and answered a couple of questions via LinkedIn to help him with customer success jobs.

Because he sent a message via my website, I had his email address and decided to send what I told him over the phone in writing - never call or contact me again!

He sent this reply after I asked that he no longer contact me. He tried to play the victim. He is attempting to change the narrative. He messaged me this past Saturday on LinkedIn and Tuesday on my website. He also called my business phone!

I've learned a valuable lesson: when people are inappropriate the first time, take action immediately regardless of their "friendly" tone. Please don't ignore them or brush off their behavior!

His behavior and actions gradually escalated to the point of him finding my phone number and calling me.

Regardless of his intentions, his delivery, behavior, and impact made me feel uncomfortable and crossed the professionalism line.

Sometimes I don't feel like teaching others how to behave or telling men what are appropriate or inappropriate behaviors toward women, especially on social media. I am too busy for that (and shouldn't have to do it)!

Here are a few quick tips.

• NO means no.
• LinkedIn is NOT a dating site.
• Don't send messages to people on LinkedIn asking them to "call you."
• Continuously sending unwanted and unnecessary messages is harassment.
• People don't owe you an explanation.
• Practice self-awareness and respect people's boundaries!