The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Many of us struggle with boundaries. This can be boundaries at work, in a relationship, or at home.?

A colleague may ask you to complete a task you feel uncomfortable to do. You do it anyway because you don’t want to be perceived as unhelpful. It may stand in the way of a promotion at work. Deep down though, you feel that this isn’t the right approach, and it conflicts with your morale.?

Not having boundaries leads to:

• Higher stress levels
• Vulnerability
• Unhealthy lifestyle?
• Higher likelihood of conflicts?
• Lower confidence

Saying?no?can be difficult. Yet, having clear boundaries in place protects us from getting hurt.?

Why are boundaries important??

• Better autonomy?
• Keep you safe and protect your personal space
• Keep stress hormones at bay?
• Healthier relationships with family, friends and colleagues

Setting boundaries often shows up as a topic in my coaching practice. Many of us haven’t quite learned to stand our grounds. So how can we set and maintain healthy boundaries?

Increase self-awareness?

Understanding?what?felt uncomfortable and?why?is a good place to start. Understanding the expectations we have from ourselves and others and what we feel comfortable with is important. We can then maybe start seeing a pattern, which informs us about our limitations of acceptance.??

Communicate clearly

I often make the mistake to address something in a moment of heat. This is an unproductive way of communicating. Instead, it is helpful to wait until the situation has calmed down. Seek a quiet moment to debrief and discuss the discomfort you experienced. State clearly and firmly what you wish from the other person. Accept the potential awkwardness that can arise on the back of this. They might feel ashamed or guilty and that’s ok. Clear communication is key to maintaining healthy boundaries.?

Consider consequences

You may have done your part in communicating the overstepped boundaries. And yet your colleague still asks you to complete those uncomfortable tasks. Think about your next steps. What is required to keep yourself comfortable and potentially safe? Be strict and honor your personal space, even if this involves?drastic action.

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I’m Aurelia. I help individuals navigate career change and be more aligned with their values.

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