The importance of politeness in life and purpose at work.

Recently, my wife and I ordered dinner from a local chain for delivery. It arrived incomplete, with her meal missing the protein and sauce. She didn’t want to have to go through the process of getting a full refund then doing the whole thing again with DoorDash (including all of the associated service fees) when she only needed two things. So, she called the restaurant directly.

The person she spoke to ended-up being the manager. Without disparaging the kitchen staff, or really complaining at all, she politely explained what went wrong and that she was hungry. The two then worked out a way to get the missing ingredients to us (for $8 which would be refunded with credits). Before ending the call, the manager said “Thank you! You’ve been the nicest person I’ve spoken to all day.”

This was strange. All my partner had done was treat the person on the other end of the line like a human being. As I selfishly ate my meal, which arrived as ordered, I thought to myself that I could never do that manager’s job.

When the missing ingredients arrived, it ended up being our entire original order plus dessert, coupons for free drinks and a personalized note. Far beyond what we were expecting, they certainly gained loyal customers in us!

However, the response to her politeness also highlighted something that appears to be growing in our culture of always-online social existence: toxic selfishness. Are we honestly at a point in time where we think of ourselves as so important that we’re forgetting customer service reps have feelings? Maybe this isn’t new, but it certainly seems to be getting worse.

Reflecting on this interaction over the past two weeks, the rabbit hole I’ve gone down has resulted in some elucidation on our interactions at work. In particular, how we assign tasks and the meaning behind productivity in our roles. ?

Why should we care about our jobs?

Fair pay, of course, is essential.

Working for a cause you believe in is great, but also a privilege that many don’t have. Most of our roles are geared to produce profit for our employer and not much else.

My current conclusion is that we find our own purpose. We find a way to gain personal satisfaction from clearing 78 emails, from nailing a big presentation, or from being able to sign-off for the day without worrying about what we must do tomorrow.

That being said, all of those things are, to an extent, selfish. Not in a bad way, but they are what brings us professional contentment as individuals. Getting to those personal goals can sometimes lead to us forgetting to properly acknowledge those who helped us accomplish them. I've certainly been guilty of this in the past!

In today’s office environments, the importance of treating your team well has never been more essential. Decent salaries and occasional free lunches are great but are also not nearly enough. We need to be cognizant of the way our team views work, especially those earlier in their careers. It’s one of the best ways to help them find their own professional purpose and to feel appreciated.

What does that mean?

Well, in the case of this thought experiment, it means making sure that when you ask someone to help you with something, they know why. i.e. "We’re building a business case for ‘x’, if you could put data together on ‘y’, it would really help us accomplish ‘z’" or “I’m hungry.”

It means that regardless of whether it’s already in their job description, you’re polite when requesting assistance. i.e. "If you could get me those TPS reports by Friday, it would make my week" or “Would it be possible for me to get the missing ingredients?"

It means always treating the person on the other end of of our communications like a human being.

'Everyone else' is looking for their purpose at work and in life, just like you and me. Being pleasant and purposeful isn't hard, it just takes a little extra effort when we're stressed or busy or both. Maybe we'd all benefit from keeping that more front of mind in our interactions. I know I will be.