The Importance of Personal Excellence

Introduction

In sports like golf, there is a leaderboard even though the biggest challenge in golf is yourself - your physical skills and your mindset. Similarly, in life, the greatest competition is often within us.

At primary school, I was always top of the class academically, believing I was on a perpetual leaderboard. However, high school quickly brought a surprise: I was no longer the top student. This early lesson taught me early that life is not a competition, but rather a journey of personal growth. School became about enjoying learning how to learn and excelling in various subjects on my own terms.

This article discusses how, in today's world, people have a habit of striving for perfection or comparing themselves to others. We explore why striving for excellence is more important than being driven by ego or fear which do nothing of substance apart from a temporary sense of worth based on others.

By focusing on excellence, we can achieve personal growth and fulfillment, rather than chasing an unattainable ideal or being demotivated by comparisons.

The Perfection Trap

Perfectionism can be a debilitating mindset. It often leads to stress, anxiety, and procrastination because the fear of making mistakes can paralyse us.

In my first job, I often spent hours perfecting reports that only needed to be good enough to serve its purpose. My obsession with making it flawless delayed its submission and stressed me out, only to find out later that the content mattered more than the tiny details I was fixated on.

Perfectionism hinders progress by setting unrealistic mythical standards. What does perfect actually mean? It's pretty impossible to define. It can cause individuals to abandon projects or delay their completion out of fear that the result won't be perfect. We also fear failing to achieve lofty ideals; achievements based on false information. This trap not only affects professional tasks but also personal endeavours, relationships, and overall well-being.

Reader Exercise:

Think of a recent project or task you worked on. Identify one aspect where you aimed for perfection. How did this focus impact your time and stress levels? Consider how striving for excellence rather than perfection might have altered your approach.

The Comparison Conundrum

The habit of comparing oneself to others is another common pitfall. It can negatively impact mental health and self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

At University, I constantly compared my grades to my peers. One semester, I scored lower than a friend in a difficult course. This comparison demotivated me and caused unnecessary stress, impacting my performance in other subjects. Real story! At the end of the day, it matters not a cent of money or self esteem.

Social media exacerbates this issue by presenting curated highlights of other people's lives, making it easy to feel inferior. However, comparing oneself to others ignores individual journeys and unique strengths. It shifts focus away from personal growth and achievements.

Reader Exercise:

Reflect on a recent instance where you compared yourself to someone else, whether at work, school, or on social media. How did it make you feel? Write down three ways you can focus on your own progress instead of comparing yourself to others. This applies to both outcomes and the methods to get there.

Defining Excellence

Excellence is about doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have. It involves continuous improvement and learning from experiences. Unlike perfection, excellence is attainable and sustainable.

Everyone is different in their mindset and perspectives, collected experiences and skillsets. So, there usually isn't just one way to look at the world or to get tasks done or definitive outcomes. You can easily find great examples in the food and beverage industries. No one product is the best or perfect. It is very subjective.

A colleague once told me about their habit of setting small, achievable goals each week. They weren’t the top performer in the company, but their consistent focus on personal excellence earned them respect and steady career growth over time. This demonstrates that excellence is not about being the best but about being the best you can be.

Excellence fosters a growth mindset, encouraging individuals to see challenges as opportunities for learning rather than threats. It promotes resilience and adaptability, qualities that are essential for long-term success and personal satisfaction.

Reader Exercise:

Take a moment to define what excellence means to you in one area of your life. Write down this definition and one or two specific actions you can take to strive for excellence in that area.

Internal vs. External Motivation

Motivation can be driven by internal (intrinsic) or external (extrinsic) factors. Intrinsic motivation comes from within and is driven by personal satisfaction and a sense of achievement and usually based on your own personal values. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is influenced by external rewards or recognition.

When I do walking exercise, I am motivated by the idea of fitness and stamina, not by the approval of others. This intrinsic motivation keeps me going through rain and sunny weather. Intrinsic motivation is more sustainable and fulfilling because it aligns with personal values and passions.

Studies show that intrinsic motivation leads to higher engagement, better persistence and performance, and greater well-being. It fosters a deeper connection to the task and encourages a more meaningful pursuit of goals. Extrinsic motivation can be effective in the short term but often fails to provide long-lasting fulfillment.

Reader Exercise:

Identify an activity or goal you are currently pursuing. Determine if your motivation is primarily internal or external. Write down one intrinsic reason why this goal is important to you and how focusing on this reason can help you maintain motivation.

The Journey to Personal Excellence

Shifting from a perfectionist and comparison mindset to one focused on personal excellence requires conscious effort and practice. One effective approach is to set small, achievable goals and celebrate progress along the way.

I once read about a writer who committed to writing 1,000 words daily, regardless of the quality. This habit built their writing skills and confidence over time, leading to the publication of their first book. This example illustrates that consistent, incremental progress leads to significant achievements.

To cultivate excellence:

• it is important to engage in regular self-reflection.
• Evaluate your goals, strategies, and progress. Adjust your plans based on what you learn and be open to new approaches. Your environment changes, and so should your approach.
• Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow rather than obstacles to avoid.

Reader Exercise:

Choose one skill or habit you want to develop. Set a small, daily goal related to this area and track your progress for a week. Reflect on how this daily practice contributes to your journey toward personal excellence.

Overcoming Ego and Fear

Ego and fear can derail the pursuit of excellence. Ego drives the desire for external validation, while fear can prevent us from taking risks and trying new things. Overcoming these obstacles is crucial for personal growth.

I remember a colleague who always hesitated to share their ideas in meetings, fearing criticism. When they finally overcame this fear, their contributions significantly improved our team’s projects and their confidence grew. This shows that overcoming fear can unlock potential and lead to greater success.

To overcome ego, focus on the process rather than the outcome. Recognise that failure and criticism are part of the learning process. Build resilience by accepting mistakes and learning from them. Practising humility and gratitude can also help in managing ego and fostering a mindset of continuous improvement.

Reader Exercise:

Think about a fear or ego-driven behaviour that has held you back. Write down one step you can take to address this fear or ego barrier. Consider how overcoming this obstacle can help you strive for excellence. Talk to a mentor or trusted colleague to get feedback and ideate new ways of thinking.

Giving Back to Others

Achieving personal goals is a fulfilling and rewarding experience, but true excellence also involves contributing to the well-being of others. Giving back not only enhances the lives of those around us but also enriches our own journey, providing a deeper sense of purpose and connection.

The Importance of Giving Back

Giving back to others fosters a sense of community and shared success. When we help others achieve their goals, we create a positive ripple effect that can inspire and motivate. It also cultivates gratitude and humility, reminding us of the support we've received along the way. By sharing our knowledge, resources, and time, we can make a meaningful impact on the lives of others.

During my career, I mentored a young colleague who was struggling with confidence and ideas in their role. By dedicating time to guide and support them, I witnessed their growth and success, which brought immense satisfaction and strengthened our professional bond. This experience underscored the importance of giving back.

Ways to Give Back

1. Mentorship and Coaching: Share your expertise and experiences with others who are on a similar path. Offer guidance, honest feedback, and encouragement to help them navigate their challenges and achieve their goals.
2. Volunteering: Dedicate your time and skills to causes that resonate with you. Whether it's through community service, non-profit organisations, or local initiatives, volunteering allows you to make a tangible difference.
3. Supporting Peers: Celebrate the achievements of your peers and offer support during their struggles. This creates a supportive environment where everyone can thrive.
4. Sharing Knowledge: Write articles, give talks, or create content that shares your insights and lessons learned. This can inspire and educate others on their journeys.

Reader Exercise:

Reflect on a recent achievement or milestone. Think of one way you can give back to others in your community or professional circle. Write down a specific action you can take this week to support someone else's growth or contribute to a cause you care about.

The Benefits of Focusing on Excellence

Focusing on personal excellence rather than perfection or comparison leads to numerous benefits. It fosters personal growth, resilience, and a sense of fulfillment. A friend of mine, a musician, focused on improving their skills rather than comparing themselves to more famous artists. This focus on personal excellence led to unique opportunities and collaborations that advanced their career.

By striving for excellence, you build self-confidence and self-esteem. You become more adaptable and better equipped to handle challenges. This mindset also enhances your relationships, as you are more likely to appreciate and support others' efforts when you are secure in your own journey.

Reader Exercise:

List three benefits you have experienced or could experience by focusing on excellence in your personal or professional life. Reflect on how these benefits contribute to your overall well-being and success.

Conclusion

Focusing on personal excellence rather than perfection or comparison often leads to greater personal fulfillment and success.

By shifting our mindset toward internal growth and self-improvement, we can overcome ego and fear, and unlock our true potential.

Strive to be the best version of yourself and lead the “Leader Board of One.” Take pride in your journey toward excellence, and remember that true success lies in continuous personal growth and the pursuit of your own standards.

Giving back to others along the way enhances this journey, creating a legacy of shared success and community uplift.

Thank you!

Frank Choy

23 June 2024

Recommended reading:

The Perfection Trap

• "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown - book encourages readers to embrace their imperfections and cultivate a wholehearted life, free from the pressure of perfectionism.
• "Present Over Perfect" by Shauna Niequist - her journey from striving for perfection to embracing a more balanced, grace-filled life.

The Comparison Conundrum

• "The Comparison Trap: A 28-Day Devotional" by Sandra Stanley - practical advice and wisdom for overcoming the habit of comparing oneself to others.
• "Comparing Ourselves to Others: The Science of Why We Compare and How to Stop" by Leon Festinger - the psychological reasons behind social comparison and offers strategies to break the cycle.

Defining Excellence

• "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink - intrinsic motivation and how it leads to excellence and fulfillment.
• "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck - the concept of a growth mindset, which is essential for striving towards excellence.

Internal vs. External Motivation

• "Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior" by Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan - the theories of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation and their impact on human behaviour.
• "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi -how achieving a state of flow can lead to intrinsic motivation and excellence.

The Journey to Personal Excellence

• "Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" by James Clear - a practical guide for developing small, consistent habits that lead to personal excellence.
• "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth - the importance of perseverance and passion in achieving excellence.

Overcoming Ego and Fear

• "Ego Is the Enemy" by Ryan Holiday - how ego can sabotage our success and offers strategies for overcoming it.
• "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers - practical advice for overcoming fear and building confidence.

The Benefits of Focusing on Excellence

• "The Pursuit of Excellence" by Ryan Hawk - This book highlights stories and strategies from high achievers who have focused on personal excellence.
• "Excellence Wins: A No-Nonsense Guide to Becoming the Best in a World of Compromise" by Horst Schulze - The author shares his principles for achieving excellence in both personal and professional life.