The Importance of Organ Donation: Two Family's Journey

From: COLUMN: Highlighting the importance of organ donation | Local News | hometownsource.com

October 2012 was the worst time in my family's life and simultaneously a miracle for multiple families in our community. My wife's brother, Adam, went out downtown Stillwater with some friends. He planned to have only a few drinks, so carried only a small amount of cash with him. That fun evening with some friends turned into a tragic event when a drink was spilled. He was unable to replace the spilled drink with the small amount of money he had with him which led to an assault and head injury that would lead to the loss his life.

A few years before that happened, a young 16-year-old boy was playing a game of pick-up basketball.?With no warning, he collapsed on the court in front of his father. After a long series of terrifying doctor’s appointments, doctors concluded that he would need a new heart and registered him for the organ transplant waiting list.

The organ donation process contains a bit of a “Goldilocks” element: the recipient must be sick enough to be on the list but well enough that the recipient is unlikely to have additional complications. The reality is that the need for life-saving organs is far, far greater than the supply. One can only imagine the horror and fear that would come of having your own child on that list.?

We didn’t know that young man or his family at the time, but as we watched in horror as Adam’s condition continued to deteriorate and confront the awful truth that we would walk out of the hospital without him. It became clear to my in-laws that they needed to salvage what good they could from the awfulness and made the decision to donate his organs. I watched as my mother-in-law spoke to the people at LifeSource (the organ donation organization for Western Wisconsin, Minnesota, and the Dakotas) about the specific ways that Adam could save lives. The men and women of LifeSource were our partners – ensuring that every question we had was answered, that this would truly help others, and that the police were able to get the answers they needed to charge the assailant.?

I also got to see the city and county in action. The NJ Café in Bayport (where Adam used to work) ran an “Adam McCloud Special” and donated the money toward what would become our efforts toward supporting organ donation and Toys for Tots. The Stillwater Police Detective was so thoughtful and careful when collecting evidence, ensuring that our family knew everything we needed know. Stillwater City Council passed an ordinance that allowed them to look at police records when issuing liquor licenses; and County Attorney Pete Orput and Prosecutor Karin McCarthy took meeting after meeting with us to walk us through the process. That’s not even half of what we experienced. Everyone just put their arms around my mother-in-law and father-in-law and loved them. It was awful and amazing.

Adam’s last day was that young man’s first day in years where he had hope.?That night his parents got the call that their son would get a new heart… as we were saying our final goodbyes to Adam. We didn’t see it at the time, but the circle was completing as our hope passed theirs burned brighter.

The bible doesn’t cover how to feel about organ donation. One cannot open Proverbs and find Solomon’s wisdom on the topic. But when pressed to name the greatest commandments, Christ said to love your neighbor as yourself. This is how it is with organ donation – you love someone you don’t know and create good where only evil has stood.?

As we have gotten to know Adam’s recipients (there are many), this young man stood out to us. In the intervening nine and half years since that faithful day, he has earned his degree in nursing, married, and grew up to be a kind, thoughtful man of faith.

Recently, we received word that the young man passed away overnight at the much too young age of 28. Having observed a family hold the hand of their son as the life slipped away, I have no end of empathy for what they are going through. No parent should bury their child. It’s my greatest fear – far outweighing the concern for my own life. While I mourn his loss, I also celebrate that this kind soul got almost a whole additional decade on this earth to do so much good, thanks to Adam’s gift.

This is why I am proud that Stillwater, Minnesota is the FIRST Donate Life City in the nation. Soon, you’ll see signage up, blue and green lights at Chestnut Plaza by the Lift Bridge, and information booths at city events. We are kind by nature in this town – I have seen it first-hand.?I hope you also support this simple but sincere approach that the city is taking and will do so by also registering as an organ donor on your driver’s license or online at Life-Source.org/Register – and telling your friends and family of your intentions.??