The importance of mentorship, or: 10 pieces of advice I wish I had been given sooner

As you know, one of my favorite topics is that of mentoring and mentorship. The last times I talked about it (check it out in the comments below), I talked about the most important things I learned from my mentors and the joy of being one myself.

Now I want to follow up on this sharing some thoughts again, because I think in times like these it is super important to have people around you helping out with their piece of mind on topics like career planning and handling day to day business, but also providing tips for daily life or personal challenges. The assurance to connect with people always helps when things get a little bit more complicated or it gets hard to succeed. At the end of the day, knowing that there is someone watching you and watching out for you, someone you can trust, gives you positive energy and confidence. And confidence and trust is the biggest difference between leaders and managers.

People often forget this power of mentorship. I see mentorship as something that comes naturally to human beings. We want to trust each other, provide experience and advice and offer solutions that maybe lead to entirely different thought and decision-making processes – in business and personal matters. ?Often it is great to have several mentors for different topics, as it is always beneficial to get several opinions and points of views. Both being a mentor and having a mentor means personal engagement, networking skills, creating a save environment, being willing to trust and getting something out of it and overall being open for change.

But how to find a mentor? How to find a person who is willing to share their thoughts and experiences? Whenever I get asked this question, my answer is simple.

Ask for it! Like it! Have the courage to ask people if they want to be your mentor and enjoy the process. Only in conversations and their outcome will you realize, if it’s a match. Days later, you might realize that a certain sentence or one simple word held the utmost importance and gave you the key to make certain decisions, change your behavior or else. It is the small situations that hold the most importance and the right mentor by your side can really change the way you look at things or approach certain situations. ?

I am a firm believer in a system that shares experience, gives support when support is most needed as well as the chance to learn from each other. This is also an important point. The mentor will also learn, have interesting takeaways and realize that this partnership becomes a perfect synergy. Often people think of it as a “one-way street”, but really, if executed well and letting the relationship thrive in the right environment, it can benefit both parties and ultimately those surrounding it as well.

But enough of mentoring and mentorship in general. I recently got asked the question, what the one piece of advice is that I give, that I myself wish I had been given when younger. That question did not only prompt me to think long and hard on the topic, but also to pass this question on to friends, former colleagues, other mentors and mentees. The results I of course want to share with you, so here it goes:

10 pieces of advice I wish I had been given sooner?

1.????Don’t focus on the negative now, but the positive ahead!

Let’s start with the most important one and my favorite. A friend of mine mentioned this to me, when asked about advice. The answer, to quote Robert H. Schuller: "Tough times never last, but tough people do.” Even if the road gets rocky sometimes, it is important to continue ahead and not give up at the slightest bump. Don’t focus on the negative now, but the positive yet to come.

Or how I would put it: Don’t view situations, problems, even people in limits, but in possibilities! Every hurdle can be your chance to jump higher, every cul-de-sac your opportunity to go down an entirely different road. This mindset of “Just do it!” largely got me to where I am today and it is the strongest advice I can give young people, as especially in these times people tend to think in “no’s” and “but’s” and “can’t’s”, but hardly think in “yes’s” or “if’s” or simply “maybe’s”. Always look at the potential, not the limit!

2.????Make clear, what it is that you want!

Don’t only think the positive and dream about your future, but make clear to your superiors, where you want to go and act accordingly. Wishful thinking is not the way to go in business. Say what you want and work to get there. Ask for the necessary support and take the corresponding measures. ?

But also:

3.????Focus on the present work instead of overthinking and worrying about the past and future!

It is great to think about and plan what lies ahead, but don’t get lost with your head in the clouds – or the past for that matter. Neither dwelling on the past or future for too long will get things done in the present. This input I also got from two different sources. One focusing on the inevitability of things, stating that you can never know what will happen or what the consequences of these things will be anyways, while the other quoted Phil Jackson: “There’s a Zen saying I often cite that goes, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” The point: Stay focused on the task at hand rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.” So true and so important to keep reminding yourself of this on the daily!

4.????If you want to achieve greatness, be willing to go all the way!

A mentor of mine shared this one with me and there is nobody better to make this point than Kobe Bryant: "A lot of people say they want to be great, but they’re not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve greatness. They have other concerns, whether important or not, and they spread themselves out. That’s totally fine. After all, greatness is not for everybody." In short: If you want to be the best, you have to take the necessary measures and pay up. No more words needed, thank you, Kobe!

And corresponding to this:

5.????Surround yourself with greatness and learn from the masters!

A source told me, to always seek to play with someone better than yourself. That is how you get better at a sport faster and the same applies to business. It’s more important to pick a good boss than pick what you think is a good job for you. Always go for the situation that challenges and pushes you forward the most. Learning from the best is key!

And don’t forget: Asking is also key! Challenge your mentors and those better than you, ask questions on why they do things the way they do them, and get their input on your work. Working on problems together, especially in moments where you might be stuck, will not only get you better results, but probably also more creative ones. Two or more minds thinking an something will ultimately yield more diverse results than anything you alone might conjure up. And let’s be honest: Together is always stronger than apart, so use your mentors, colleagues and other minds to get the best results together!

And here comes an important one:

6.????Stay true to yourself!

Never compromise your integrity for the sake of the company you work for – you become immediately less valuable for that company itself. If the values of a company do not line up with yours, cut ties with it. Hoping for change won’t make things better, changing them directly, however, will. Find a culture that lines up with your beliefs instead of getting lost in a different belief system.

7.????Always be aware of your impact!

There is no act, no solution, no turn you take without paying a price. Everything you do affects others, everything you might say has an impact on your surroundings, no matter your rank or position. Positively or negatively: You always have an impact. Never forget that!

8.????Ask open questions to learn instead of judging or defending.

Whatever the situation, whatever the problem: Ask to learn what happened first or ask what can be optimized instead of judging the situation, looking for whose fault it is or jumping to your defense. To remind you of an earlier piece of advice: Instead of focusing on what happened in the past, stay in the present and ask yourself: What can I do better?

And now some advice, that is important to everyone, but especially for those wanting to be good mentors:

9.????Listen to understand instead of listening to respond!

An important point. Understanding should always come before responding. Listen first, act second.

10.?Juniors talk first!

Always let the younger generations offer their fresh and untainted points of view before coming in with your input. Those future-centered, idealistic mindsets should get to talk first, before being silenced by the older generations’ apparent wisdoms.

My personal conclusion to this? Well, as I mentioned above, point number 1 is the strongest advice I could ever give you. A positive mindset and a positive attitude will always get you further than thinking in problems or constantly doubting. Most boundaries and limits are created by ourselves, so I believe it to be essential to break and constantly overstep them. You might surprise yourself with what is possible, if you just try and go for it. ;)

And now to you: Have you already thought about mentorship as a mentor or mentee? Have you already been active as a mentor? How does it feel? What advice have you given?

And to all the potential mentees: What are the kinds of questions you would want to discuss with a mentor? Which topics do you need advice on the most?

Let me know in the comments below, what your take on the matter is or to what questions you would like my two cents. ?

Ciao

Ralf

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