The Importance Of Healing From Past Relationships Before Dating Again

Biology creates this driving force for us to meet a partner to procreate with....yet what's not factored in is what happens if that goes wrong and how do we know if we are in fact ready for a new relationship?

In this article I want to share with you a few insights that can help when it comes to healing and moving forward to enjoy a healthy relationship.

These are a few elements that can happen if you haven't healed fully from previous relationships and even childhood events and patterns. (Remember our first none romantic relationship was with our parents/carers and this will influence the way we connect with EVERYONE). If you have elements that require healing you may find:

• Find yourself dating the same person again and again
• Pining over the ex despite knowing that relationship was bad/didn’t work out
• Feeling fearful of being alone or with just your own company
• Strong needs for human connection/validation (The thought of going a day without communicating with no one feels like it could be world ending)
• Not giving yourself the chance to fully recover confidence/rejection

Something to remember: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT DECREASE YOURSELF WORTH/CONFIDENCE

I was on a call the other day with a lovely lady who had gone through a break up and we’ve all been there where we feel the need to help and support the ex partner (even if they were the one who broke up with you) and she had mentioned how her relationship had decreased her self worth and confidence and how that was her fault and her issue to work through.

Let me tell you how unhealthy/borderline abusive relationships work (and also how even cults work). They say small one liners that stick!

• Oh you’ll never meet anyone as good as me
• Only silly people think that way – don’t be so stupid
• Gawd you are so insecure

Which then plays on to identity issues.

Remember out identity and the way we see ourselves will impact on the type of relationship we have. This is why I take my clients through the Desired Woman Approach which is a blend of healing, releasing old subconscious patterns and building up the confidence to build up the life and relationship you do want.

This is only one of the three approaches I take my clients through but it’s so important as what happens when we don’t get this right is SELF SABOTAGE

The types of self sabotage I tend to see is:

• Dating for validation rather than connection
• Reaching out to the ex constantly without a real reason to
• Feeling the need to tell EVERYONE the issues and the ins and outs of what went wrong in their relationship to JUSTIFY and PROCESS what they had actually been through (More common for fresh relationships that just ended).
• Dating people who are wrong for them
• Pushing the right ones away as they are too afraid to have someone close to their heart again
• Sleeping with lots of people – To either FEEL something as they feel numb or as a punishment to themselves (LOW SELF WORTH)

WE CAN NOT HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IF WE ARE CREATING A RELATIONSHIP FROM AN UNHEALTHY PLACE

When we create a relationship from a healed place – like my clients do after the “Desired Woman Approach”

• They are confident within themselves
• They feel excited about dating and enjoy connecting with people
• They have standards and hold themselves to those standards
• They know who is right to date for them and where to meet the right one for them due to the compatibility matrix which is personalised to them.
• They are at peace with their past – no matter how awful it was was – shame, guilt, fear
• They also know what a healthy relationship looks like and how to create it.
• They are excited for the future and have an idea of what the future looks like for them.

Everyone deserves real, honest love but not everyone knows how to get it. That's why I have dropped a link below where you can book a free call with me where we can understand the elements you need to be able to move forward and to meet the right one.

https://calendly.com/withintelligence/love-blue-print