The Importance of Friendships With Those Who Hold Divergent Beliefs

Something that has become clear to me in recent years is that the ramifications of presidential elections aren't just political. They can also be very personal. I've been disheartened to see political differences tear apart many personal relationships. As election season ramps up, it can be tempting to disconnect from friends and loved ones who have wildly opposing views from your own. However, I want to share my opinions on the importance of friendship with people with beliefs different from yours. These friendships, far from causing you to compromise your values, can actually empower you to represent your side with dignity and confidence. They can be a source of personal growth and resilience, inspiring you to stand firm in your beliefs while respecting others' perspectives.

Why Putting Differences Aside Is Harder Than Ever

Political differences have always been a part of our society. In some cases, turbulent political times have led to important societal changes. However, the difference between the times in the past and today is that people can "break away" from political talk more easily.

With social media, it can feel like people you know are broadcasting their political views 24 hours a day with no filter. People can "shout" every thought and opinion that pops into their minds on demand. Anger, fatigue, resentment, and blame are just some of the feelings we experience when someone we care about constantly makes statements that we feel invalidate or marginalize us. We may also be "over it" when it comes to people we know sharing sensitized or inaccurate information.

According to the Survey Center on American Life research, 15% of Americans have ended a friendship over politics. Political disagreements are also driving divisions in families like never before. When researchers at the University of Wisconsin Survey Center completed a study involving more than 1,600 estranged parents to identify why estrangements occur, they found that political affiliation has become the most potent reason people decide to befriend or reject someone. Political differences now far surpass differences by age, race, ethnicity, gender, educational attainment, and religious affiliation.

Don't Fall for the Trap of Divisiveness

While it may sound cliché, I'll never stop saying that division is the only true enemy. When we break off into our own political silos, we create a society of isolation and alienation that teaches us that anyone who disagrees with us is the enemy. Most people familiar with my legal career and advocacy work would describe me as a progressive. However, I have maintained lifelong friendships with people on both sides of the aisle. In fact, I consider Justice Clarence Thomas a friend. While our political views may be as opposite as night and day, we have a connection over the fact that our families lived in the same little corner of Georgia. This shared humanity, this common ground, should bind us more closely than politics. These types of connections should allow us to see past our political differences and maintain meaningful relationships.?

Division Can Harm Our Mental Health

"Politics is a pervasive and largely unavoidable source of chronic stress that exacted significant health costs for large numbers of American adults," concludes a 2022 paper examining the negative impact of political engagement on public health during recent elections. Other studies have confirmed that elections have caused increases in anxiety or depression that have been detected by researchers directly measuring biomarkers of stress that include cortisol or testosterone. We are becoming physically, mentally, and emotionally sick over the divide. As social creatures, one of the best things we can do for our physical and emotional health is to maintain close relationships with others. We can't let politicians we've never met steal our friendships from us.?

You Don't Have to Agree With Someone to Care About Them

For people who feel passionate about political topics, maintaining a relationship with someone you disagree with can feel like compromising your beliefs. However, this is a false dynamic. Being empathetic to someone else's viewpoint, taking time to hear the opinions of others, and finding common ground whenever possible can only help you be firmer in your convictions. It's important to know your triggers. If discussing politics with certain people sets you off, it's okay to set a boundary of agreeing to disagree and not discussing hot topics when you're together. This is not a compromise but a way to maintain respect and control in your relationships. Of course, a person who refuses to respect your wishes to keep politics out of it shows that they do not respect your boundaries. This is more of a character issue than a political one. In this way, election season can help you identify who is worth your time regardless of their political leanings.

In 2024, let's stay strong in our convictions yet commit to being a source of light instead of division. Let's also be patient with people even if we believe they're heading in the wrong direction.