Importance of Empathy in Relocation

Relocation.

This word certainly conjures different emotions depending on which side you stand. For the relocating employee, it is an exciting financial and growth opportunity. For the real estate agent working for a relocation company, it is the gift of a new client. However, the spouse/partner of the employee should never be overlooked--service to the non-employee beyond simply finding a home is critical in order for in order for the employee to be able to focus and thrive in their new role.

After learning that my husband was offered an opportunity to move to Germany, I could not have been more proud or excited for him. Yet it required fully letting go of a community I loved and a magical Victorian home in Georgia. Thankfully, I had a great agent--brand new to the business--who went above and beyond to take care of me while I dealt with the numerous logistics of an international move: deciding what would be shipped and what would go to long-term storage, acquiring and renewing passports for a family of six, applying to international schools, and dealing with the emotions of 3 teenagers and a 10-year-old (who had just studied WWII and couldn’t understand why we would move to Germany!)--all while my husband was absent as he prepared for his new role. But thankfully, our Realtor saw her job as far more than selling our home. She was my advocate, doing whatever needed to ease the physical and emotional burden of the move.

Fast forward to Germany. Similar experience with a wonderful company founded by American Cheryl Koenig who had herself moved to Europe as a young adult. She built her company to meet the needs of expats so they could be better served in the relocation process--and she did it exceptionally. Her personal experience created an empathy which created the foundation of her company, providing the warm welcome and services she wished she had received when moving to a new country as a young professional. Click HERE for more information on CKRS Group.

But not all relocations go so smoothly.

I’ve lived through 8 corporate relocations plus many others with a mixture of “good, bad and just plain ugly.” And, I’ve surveyed numerous other relocated spouses and their stories of both success and frustration often mimic my own.

Our most challenging of all was our last move as we left Germany to start again in a new state and a country that no longer felt like ‘home.’ We were assigned a ‘top’ relocation agent. No doubt she knew the business of negotiations and contracts--but as a lifelong resident of Texas, she had no personal context to understand our family's unique needs and challenges beyond the purchase of a house. As a native Texan, our agent couldn’t relate to my world anymore than I could to hers. I’ll spare the details, but it was a nightmare that greatly impacted our adjustment to Texas. It wasn’t that she was a ‘bad’ agent--she simply wasn’t the RIGHT agent for our family, underestimated how little we knew about Texas communities and schools, and didn't provide the time we needed or possess the expertise required for the neighborhood where we found a home.

Thankfully though, “Out of our mess, there is a mess-age,” and my story and experiences serve as the inspiration for my real estate career serving others and creating a relocation strategy to ensure their successful transition.

For buyers and sellers: If a client is not moving to or from the small geographical area in which I'm the local expert, I then help them identify the right Realtor, resources and strategies for their individual needs. This is critical in order to ensure the highest level of customer service essential for a successful transition of a family beyond the simple purchase or sell of a home.

For real estate agents: I'm creating a relocation course as I love to provide insight into the unique needs and challenges of relocation especially beneficial for agents who are long-time locals. If an agent has not personally experienced a move across state lines much less over an ocean (especially with toddlers or angry teenagers!) there is a missing level of empathy. So I love to share stories, resources and insight that will allow agents to deliver a level of customer service that will make them the hero!

In my experience, empathy is one of the greatest qualities--hard to teach, but when a service provider has it--it makes all the difference in the customer service experience! And when you help the family transition successfully, then you increase the likelihood of success for the relocation employee and, ultimately, the company that employs them.

The following list of emotions provides a bit of insight to create a sense of empathy for those who may not be aware of the challenges, especially for the relocating employee's family:

Grief: Loss is an overwhelming emotion--no matter how exciting the opportunity or new place to which one is moving. This is especially true for the spouse that gave up a career, family, frends in order to follow his/her partner. Your client, in particular the employee’s spouse, has lost the connections essential to who they are: friends, responsibilities, familiar places--this sense of identity loss can be overwhelming. As an agent, you often serve as the first ‘friend’ --be the best one you can be until they find themselves again.

Resentment: The employee’s hard work has been acknowledged and they probably have a new sense of excitement and purpose. However, quite often the spouse/partner-and more often the kids-experience a feeling of powerlessness. They may believe some wrong has been done against them and blame the person responsible for making them leave all things familiar in order to pursue a new opportunity. The fear of the unknown can create a spoken or unspoken resentment--and resistance to the change. Help them find the familiar in the unfamiliar.

Fear: Be aware that your relocation client’s personality may be altered from their typical mode of operation. Moving is terrifying--no matter how brave a person may appear on the outside. It conjures up all kinds of fears: What if I hate it here? What if my kids don’?t make friends? What if I can?t find a a place to belong? How will I spend my time?? I have more than once overheard an agent express frustration toward a ‘demanding’ client. Be aware of the challenges, especially for the spouse of the employee. They need an extra degree of patience and service. Reach out to them early in the process and let them know you are their advocate. The home purchase may be secondary to the relocation employee as work will be their primary focus as they already have a job where they ‘belong.’ The family members following often need to be the primary focus--as an agent, your job is to calm their fears and help them see the new city and community as ‘home.’

Isolation: Being in a new state, a different culture, an unfamiliar city, can trigger a sense of loneliness that one cannot imagine until experienced personally. To ensure a successful relocation for your client, go above and beyond just the logistics of buying a home. Find out who the client is--their hobbies and passions--and connect them to others with shared interests so they know they are not alone. If they are from another country, help them find an international club. If they are seeking a job, ask to share their resume or connect them to local networking and employment resources. It takes time to make connections with people. Make yourself available as a point of connection to the community, neighborhood, schools, and recreation until they find themselves again.

Again, our job as Real Estate professionals is much more than helping clients buy or sell a house, it’s helping them find ‘home!’

I would love to hear from relocation clients, agents, companies and HR professionals. Please add anything in the comments that might help someone the next time life requires a move!

Lindy Chapman | Realty Professionals of Texas | Southlake | [email protected]