The importance of doing nothing

The Long View is back from holiday, with some reflections on why we all need breaks - big and small - and how that could work differently for each of us.

The challenge of doing nothing

I am famously bad at doing nothing - the Italian phrase "il dolce far niente" (the sweetness of doing nothing) is difficult for me to master. This was, in fact, one of the five or six things I identified that I didn't like about myself, maybe 8 years ago now.

I saw that other people were able to finish a difficult day's work and they would unwind with Netflix, gaming or maybe a little online shopping. I don't really watch TV, and find it very hard to sit still (or lie in on the weekend) when just a quick scan around the room is a reminder of a dozen different things I should be doing.

There are crumbs on the table, that pillow needs washed. Did I remember to buy more coffee? I think I forgot to set up the Zoom for that meeting tomorrow.

Eventually, I get up and start doing stuff, not because anyone expects me to, but because it's the quickest way to quieten that noise. I don't know if I'm like this because of years of juggling family and work (sometimes as a single parent) - or if I've always been like this.

Either way, who I am, to the core, is someone who has trouble relaxing, and letting go.

Why rest matters

We all know this, but we're also collectively bad at putting what we know into practice: rest is really, really important.

We need breaks to allow us to recover, physically and emotionally, from the stress that we put ourselves through - in work and study, in caring for others - for some people, in just surviving, when daily life is challenging.

We need small breaks, and we need big breaks.

We are presented, day-to-day, with some very common visions of what rest can look like: a morning meditation, a lunchtime stroll, a warm bath. A weekend away with your best friend, a week at the beach, a family road trip.

But when you picture these possibilities, do you really find them restful?

The truth is, what works for you, might not work for me. We all have such different requirements for stimulation or quiet, and such different incomes and spare time to plan and enjoy those big and small breaks - rest is not a one-sized-fits-all kind of thing.

Finding your own path to rest

I realised, a while ago, that it would not serve me to keep getting upset about not enjoying what other people seem to enjoy.

Instead, I did some reading* and a lot of experimenting, and I discovered some new things that I loved and also find relaxing: walking Munros and early morning coffees.

I also rediscovered some things that I have always enjoyed, but forgot about: reading fiction, and lying about in hammocks.

For me, rest appears to be a requirement mainly for outdoors, solitude and quiet.

For others, I know, it can look very different: cooking and making music together, drinks and dancing, playing sports. I like these things too, but for very different reasons.

Returning to: the importance of doing nothing

Hopefully, I've made a convincing case now that "doing nothing" is actually a question of perspective: we are always doing something, but to understand whether it is the something we need most at the time, it might help to be clear-sighted about how we are spending our time, what we're hoping to achieve and why.

What do your ideal small and big breaks look like? And are you making time for what you need - to rest and reflect?

Thanks for reading again this week! I hope you've had an opportunity for a big break this summer - or are looking forward to one - and would love to hear about what kind of small breaks you take to get through your every day, and every week.

* For those of you who like a book recommendation, here are a few that changed how I think about the importance of rest: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mere Mortals (Oliver Burkeman), Radical Rest (Richard Lister) and the Headspace Guide to Mindfulness and Meditation (Andy Puddicombe).

For those of you who prefer to listen, try the five minute daily Radio Headspace podcast.