The importance of connection...

The summer holidays are now well underway, and whether it is business as usual for you, whether you are balancing and juggling working and having your cherubs at home, or whether you have taken the time to spend some quality time with the family, the importance of connecting with ourselves, others, and nature cannot be overstated.

The trio, trinity, triad, trilogy - regardless of what we want to call the combination of these three elements, for me they require constant work and balance (maybe that’s the Libra in me!), having the self-awareness to make adjustments, dial up and dial down elements, and possibly even make a course correction.

I had the pleasure of attending the Coaching Outdoor Live event at Henley Business School earlier this month… and what an INCREDIBLE day it was! One of the foundations of the event was connection, and for me, this event created a depth of connection across all three of these areas. It inspired my reflection and this post.

Ultimately, amidst the constant noise of commitments, obligations, and the rush of daily life (summer holidays or not), taking the time to pause, to truly connect, is not just beneficial but essential for our overall well-being.

Connecting with Self

Self-connection is the foundation of personal growth and well-being. It involves introspection, understanding our thoughts and emotions, and aligning with our true selves. In the hustle and bustle of modern life, we often neglect this vital connection, which can eventually lead to stress, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from our own lives.

From a coaching perspective, if effective coaching facilitates self-discovery and empowers individuals to unlock their potential (Whitmore, 2002), then self-connection is crucial for personal and professional development. Coaches often use techniques like mindfulness, self-reflection, and goal setting to help clients deepen their self-awareness.

Taking time for self-connection allows us to reflect on our values, goals, and desires. My practices differ from day to day, but I have made a commitment to myself to work on my self-connection as a daily practice without fail. For me, it can be journaling, exercise, walking in nature, yoga, tapping (Emotional freedom technique), meditation, reading, a morning cup of tea in the garden before the world has woken up, or even an evening sitting gazing at the stars! Anything that brings joy and relaxation.

With self-connection improving our ability to make decisions aligned with our true selves, when we understand our motivations and feelings, we are better equipped to navigate life's challenges with resilience and authenticity. Through the holidays, my self-connection practices will, of course, continue. I suspect I may even dial some of them up!

My challenge is to keep this element in balance without neglecting the work to be done with connecting with others…

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Connecting with Others

Human beings are inherently social creatures. Our connections with others - family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, play a crucial role in our happiness and well-being. The need to belong is a fundamental human need, and deep, meaningful relationships provide the emotional support and sense of safety that fulfil this need.

These connections are built on empathy, trust, and shared experiences. Spending quality time with our ‘tribe’ of people, engaging in meaningful conversations, and showing genuine interest in others’ lives set a foundation for strong bonds. Connections that reduce feelings of solitude and enhance our sense of belonging.

Our tribe, whether personal or professional, requires boundaries, continual commitment, and collaboration. Someone once told me they strive to be around people more clever than themselves… I get it. There is something powerful about that for me. Being around people who inspire us, connect with us at both an intellectual and spiritual level. Keeping our boundaries strong to allow us to spend time connecting with our ‘radiators’ rather than our ‘drains’.

In coaching, our foundation is the importance of building and maintaining healthy relationships. Coaches like Kimsey-House et al. (2011) highlight the significance of active listening, empathy, and effective communication in creating strong interpersonal connections. These skills are essential not only for coaching relationships but also for personal and professional interactions.

My tribe isn’t only made up of humans… my four-legged friends, both equine and canine, play a vital role in feeling connected, enhancing the sense of belonging, reducing stress, and promoting overall well-being. This connection is deeply intertwined with the benefits of being in nature, creating a holistic experience that nurtures both the mind and body.

Which leads to…

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Connecting with Nature

Nature has an unparalleled ability to rejuvenate our minds and bodies. Spending time outdoors, whether it's hiking in the mountains, walking in a park, or simply sitting at the side of the river (we are very lucky at our stunning Greenlands campus!), offers a respite from the chaos of daily life. Connecting with nature is associated with numerous health benefits, including reduced stress, improved mood, and enhanced cognitive function.

The therapeutic effects of nature are well-documented. Ecotherapy, a practice that involves immersive experiences in natural environments, highlights the healing power of nature. Studies have shown that even short periods spent in nature can lower cortisol levels, reduce blood pressure, and promote overall well-being (Hartig et al., 2003; Bowler et al., 2010). Nature also fosters a sense of awe and interconnectedness, reminding us of the larger world beyond our individual concerns.

For me, it’s ‘being’ in all weathers, whether it's observing the rain fall on the river, feeling the wind move through on top of a hill, basking in the sun watching the waves break on the beach, feeling held by the trees in the woodland around you, or standing on a mountain to see fresh perspectives. The outdoors offers a space that allows you to stop, pause, breathe, and connect. It offers a place for deep reflection.

From a coaching perspective, coaching while walking is a relatively new concept, and there is a lot we are still to discover in terms of the benefits and how walking and coaching/reflection can generate new insight. McGonigal (2019) speaks about how movement is a tool to get into your innermost self, and for me, this highlights the importance of movement generated from walking, the freedom of forward momentum, and how metaphoric it can be when you or a client is feeling cognitively stuck (Trebilco, 2021).

Movement is one thing; being totally present in nature is another… being totally aware of what is around us and what is working in partnership with us. I recently attended an incredible session at the Outdoor Coaching Live event with Karen Liebenguth on Embodied Practice. As coaches, how can we ensure we really ground ourselves in nature, with our clients, and not just treat the outdoors as another office where we coach? How can we slow down to see and find meaning in what is around us? Nature provides us with a rich smorgasbord of metaphors if only we stop, pause, and notice with curiosity.

So… how do we shut down the metaphorical 100 tabs that we keep open? How do we support ourselves to slow the pace from 500mph? How do we remove the blinkers? How do we take time out and down tools to re-connect?

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The importance of Taking Time

In our busy lives, the constant barrage of tasks and responsibilities can be overwhelming. The need to be constantly 'on', juggling work, family, and personal commitments, can lead to burnout. This state of perpetual busyness not only affects our mental health but also diminishes the quality of our connections with ourselves, others, and nature.

Taking intentional time for self-care, even for short periods, can have profound benefits. Breaks, where individuals consciously take time for themselves, help reset our energy levels and reduce stress. These breaks allow us to be more present and engaged in our offline lives.

In coaching, we may work with clients to develop personalised plans for managing time, promoting well-being, for reflection or relationship-building. How do we as coaches ensure we engage in these practices ourselves to help us disconnect from the busyness of life and reconnect with what truly matters?

I recently read the book Unlost by Gail Muller, a book of self-discovery and the healing power of the great outdoors, trekking the Appalachian Trail (such an incredible book that I took so much away from… it might even get its own post at some point!). I discovered the term ‘A Zero’—a rest day on the trail, when zero miles are hiked, time to recharge and refuel. I recently took this to a supervision session on how I can look after myself better as a coach. Fundamentally, though, how can I implement a zero ‘day’ or even zero ‘moment’ to be a better mum, colleague, and friend? How do I take time to pause, restock, and refuel to be a better person?

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So what am I leaving you with?

It’s my belief that connecting with ourselves, others, and nature cannot be overstated. These connections enrich our lives, promoting well-being, resilience, and a sense of belonging. In a world (at any time of the year, not just the summer holidays!) dominated by constant demands, making a conscious effort to take time and nurture these connections is essential.

By doing so, we create space for reflection, build stronger relationships across the elements, and find belonging in the natural world. These elements of connection are the threads that weave the tapestry of a meaningful life. Fostering these connections is integral to personal and professional growth, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life for not just our clients but for us coaches too.

As the holidays progress, this is me holding myself accountable to try and find as much balance in each of the elements of connection as possible and to ensure that I can take as many zero days/moments as I can to pause, rest, and take stock.

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References

• Bowler, D. E., Buyung-Ali, L. M., Knight, T. M., & Pullin, A. S. (2010). A systematic review of evidence for the added benefits to health of exposure to natural environments. BMC Public Health, 10, 456.
• Hartig, T., Evans, G. W., Jamner, L. D., Davis, D. S., & G?rling, T. (2003). Tracking restoration in natural and urban field settings. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 23(2), 109-123.
• Kimsey-House, H., Kimsey-House, K., Sandahl, P., & Whitworth, L. (2011). Co-Active Coaching: Changing Business, Transforming Lives. Nicholas Brealey Publishing
• McGonigal, K. (2019). The Joy of Movement: How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage. Penguin.
• Trebilco, C., (2021). Coaching Outdoors Podcast Episode 6 - Cat Trebilco. 16 Mar 2021. Available from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZsHQFGmWN8 [Accessed 29 July 2024]
• Whitmore, J. (2002). Coaching for Performance: Growing Human Potential and Purpose. Nicholas Brealey Publishing.