The importance of choosing who you work with; and for.

Something that struck me recently is the importance of picking who you work with, and for. The people we surround ourselves with, and that we are surrounded by, represent us. 

“Whatever you put around yourself, you will be the mirror of it.”

Marcel Wanders

I didn’t realize how true this was until I woke up one day and realized that I was in an insanely toxic work environment, and no matter how hard I pushed to be different, I was slowly normalizing the behavior. I had begun to overlook, and normalize a consistent behavior of dishonesty from someone I reported to, and by not calling it out every time it happened; I was in effect condoning it. Even as I tried to focus on what I controlled, the dirt slowly got onto me as well. I wasn’t fully living my values of transparency, honesty and factual integrity because I forced myself to accept it under the logic of ,”It’s not me doing that.” Except....that people began to associate the broader leadership team with the toxic behavior; and I was part of that leadership team. That “dirt” was starting to stick to me.

I got sick. Physically, it wore on me. Mentally, I was the most unhappy I have ever been in my work career. 

So I left.

I felt better. I found happiness again in what I was doing. 

It was the most important and impactful thing I could have done.

The people we work with, and for, are reflections of us. They reflect what we are “willing to put up with”, they reflect “how we see ourselves”, and they reflect “whether we will truly stand up for our values.” When choosing a new role, it is so important to make sure that we pick not just exciting roles and projects, but that we pick people and teams that we respect. And if you ever realize that your working for someone, or a company, that you don’t respect; then it’s probably time to leave. 

As leaders, everyone watches what we do; and what we don’t do. They notice when we don’t call out the half truths and condescending comments by other leaders, and we become complicit. Our actions, of standing up to bullies at the office, or not; of staying in a toxic environment, or not; are crystal clear reflections of our value systems in action. You are valuable. Don’t go to, or stay at a place where your value isn’t appreciated. Always pick who you work for.

I want to be the leader that I want to work for. Honesty, transparency and data driven decisions are core to my person as a practitioner. Embracing diversity, earning respect and helping people to grow, are food for my soul as a human. I’ll never be a “yes man” and I’ll always invest into people. Yes, I’ll set high bars, but I’ll help people to get there. 

It took going through a toxic work environment to really learn how deeply this all means to me.

I will forever place the importance of choosing who I work with, and for, at the top of my list. Their character says a lot about mine.

My question to all of you:

What are your values and what kind of leader do you strive to be? How important do you think it is to choose who you work with/for?