The Importance of Both Giving and Accepting a Compliment
Simone Knego
Keynote|Women’s Leadership|TEDx Speaker, Confidence Coach, Co-Host of the Her Unshakeable Confidence Podcast, Award-Winning Author, I Help Women Build Unshakeable Confidence from the Inside Out
Why is it so hard for us to say thank you when someone gives us a compliment?
This is something that I have struggled with for years.
Your response is a reflection of?you.
Being able to say thank you for a compliment is part of our ability to see our own self-worth.
It is seeing our value and respecting our reflection.
Saying thank you for a compliment encompasses all the things that I like to talk about when I speak to women about loving who they are and seeing themselves differently.
The ability to say thank you when someone gives you a compliment is really a reflection on how you feel about yourself.
If you don’t recognize the good in yourself, you’re not going to believe others when they see it.
This is why it’s so important that we learn to see the good within ourselves.
That way, when other people recognize that good and compliment us on it, we will recognize it, too.
Rather than feeling uncomfortable by the compliment, we can accept it and simply say, “Thank you.”
A compliment is a reflection of what others?see.
I used to struggle for years with accepting compliments.
When someone said I looked pretty or that my hair looked great, I always had an excuse. I felt I had to explain why it really wasn’t or why it was not the norm.
Every time I was given a compliment, I always had an answer for them instead of just accepting the compliment and saying thank you.
Over the years, however, I have realized the error of that way of thinking.
When someone goes out of their way to give you a compliment, it’s not because they have to.
It’s because they genuinely feel the truth of it.
They have a desire to give you the compliment because that is how they see you.
And because they want you to know the good that they see in you.
By saying thank you, we are accepting their view of who we are and validating them in their perspective.
Thank you are the only two words required.
I was at a friend’s house the other day when someone gave her a compliment.
This person actually gave her multiple compliments like, “You look really pretty,” and “You look great in that outfit.”
My friend’s response was, “You think?”
This friend of mine is the sweetest, nicest person in the world. And she’s absolutely beautiful.
But her response was, “You think?”
I immediately said, “Oh, girl, you know what I’m going to say. You know how much I struggled to say thank you when I was given a compliment.”
So she repeated back the words, “Thank you.”
Those two simple words are so hard for us to say when it comes to accepting a compliment. But they are really the only two words we need.
We don’t have to question the compliment, make excuses for it, or downright refuse it.
All that we have to do is simply say thank you and receive the compliment with grace and gratitude.
Genuinely accepting compliments can change our perspective.
Sometimes, it’s hard for us to see who we truly are.
But seeing ourselves through the eyes of another can help us change our negative perspective.
We need to give ourselves more credit for who we are and what we have to offer the world.
If we really want to build our confidence, we have to recognize that it doesn’t come from the outside?—?it starts on the inside.
We have to build our confidence through self-respect, self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love.
All of these things together can really change how we see ourselves.
And when we’re confident on the inside, we’re confident on the outside, too. It just works together.
The more confident we are, the easier it is to accept compliments when they come.
Make it a point to give compliments to?others.
It’s not just important to receive compliments, it’s also important to give compliments when you see good things in others.
I’m not saying to just go around giving compliments for the sake of giving compliments. I’m talking about genuinely looking for the good in others and complimenting them on it.
When you see something good, say something good.
This is really how we ought to be living every day of our lives?—?when you see the good, be the good.
Another friend of mine was telling me a story about how she was walking down the street and saw an absolutely gorgeous woman.
As my friend walked past this woman, she gave her the once over, looking her up and down.
My friend didn’t say anything because she didn’t have the courage to speak in that moment, and the woman passed.
She walked about five more feet, then turned around and went back to the woman and said, “I have to tell you, you look so beautiful in that outfit. I’m sure when I looked at you, you probably thought I was judging you. But all I was thinking was that you look so beautiful.”
The woman’s response surprised my friend, “Thank you so much. My husband just left me, and I’m here on vacation by myself, trying to get myself back together again. I can’t tell you what a difference you have made in my day.”
Just a simple moment of courage from my friend in giving this woman a genuine compliment changed everything for that woman.
Find your courage to both give and receive a compliment.
My friend’s experience is a great reminder to all of us that when we see something, we need to find our courage and our voice to say something.
We may never know the difference we can make with one simple compliment to a stranger.
We also need to find our courage to say thank you when a compliment is given to us.
We may have so much we want to say instead. We may even be embarrassed by the compliment because we feel it’s not the truth.
But remember that when someone gives you a compliment, it is their perspective, and it is their truth.
So, accept what others see, and say thank you for their perspective. Let it help you start building that confidence of yours from the inside out.
Because the more we can see ourselves through the eyes of another, the more we can see the truth for ourselves.
And the more we can train ourselves to see the good, the more good we will see.
This article was originally published on SimoneKnego.com.
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