The Importance of Belonging

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to attend the Torrington Mayfair celebrations – a wonderful and famous day, if you happen to live in a small North Devon market town.??Stretching back in the annals of history, the town has always celebrated Mayfair – the first Thursday in May when the town effectively shuts up shop, the Square becomes the scene of Maypole dancing and the crowning of the May Queen, all involving children from the Junior School.?The pubs are open, the fair arrives in town, people flock in from the local villages and much merriment and mirth ensues.?Because of Covid this was the first time for 2 years that the town was able to celebrate – and boy did they celebrate, the sun shone, and the day was a huge success.

It is the first time I have been ‘back for Mayfair’ for a long time and probably only the second time I have visited since I left home at 19.?It was wonderful to be back – I bumped into many friends, including my mate Bomber, the first friend I made at primary school when we moved back from Kenya in 1976.?I met several ex-teachers – including a man called Bob Brewer who spoke so eloquently and with such warmth at my Dad’s funeral. I met ex pupils – years above and below me who I wouldn’t class as friends – but who greeted me with “hello Fergy, nice to see you” and then regaled me with stories about Dad.

The overriding emotion and the point of the blog I guess is the importance of belonging!?I felt an enormous sense of collective pride at the ‘show’ the town had put on, I loved hearing on several occasions “cor idn’t there a lot of people, abn’t seen so many people at Mayfair for yurs!”?I also felt welcomed and connected to something that was important to so many people, I had no part to play other than the role of observer and witness to something special, itself an important privilege.??But above all I felt an enormous sense of peace – generated I think from the shared experience in the moment, and the emotional connection to shared experiences with family and friends back in the day (my Grandfather was the Town Clerk and part of proceedings for many years with Grandma looking on, my sister was an attendant to the May Queen in 1978, and I too had danced around the Maypole).?

I think that sort of emotional peace has been in very short supply for many of us over the last few years with the Covid pandemic and more recently with the challenges of Ukraine and cost of living rises.?It certainly has for me personally as I have navigated the various trials and tribulations that have come my way.?I hadn’t really thought about ‘emotional belonging and connectivity’ as either a missing ingredient or a potential antidote to stress and unhappiness until that moment in the Square last week.?

I have been reading a lot on social media about ‘the employee experience’ in relation to the shift to hybrid working, the great resignation and the like.?I think a sense of belonging and emotional connectedness is potentially a huge lever in this debate and one that great leaders at any level in an organisation probably naturally create.?It is not the silver bullet by any means – but I believe that there is a real opportunity to take a different look at this challenge of connecting and engaging employees by focussing on creating a real sense of belonging – to their work, their team, their function or their organisation.?I think that the lessons I take away from my Mayfair experience resonate in the workplace too.

• Building collective pride in the delivery / provision of the goods or services you are responsible for – celebrating and amplifying success, sharing and talking about it with pride and passion.
• Building a shared sense and appreciation of what is important, why it is important and for whom it is important.
• Building and amplifying the shared experience – talking about the impact and implications of what we do as a team, sharing the stories of how we delivered, what we created, what we overcame and how it made us feel.

I love the banner that is put up across the square and is the symbol of Mayfair – it reads “Us be plaised to zee ee” and think this is a wonderful reminder. Who do you welcome in this way and where are you welcomed thus????I found a happy place last week and as I leant against the wall in the sunshine – the noise and excitement bubbling up around me – I felt a sense of peace and contentment I have not felt for a long time.?We all have a leadership opportunity, for ourselves, the people we love and care for or the people we lead, to actively foster a sense of belonging.?If you don’t belong then you are alone and that isn’t much fun!