The importance of being happy...

Recent events have reminded me of the importance of being happy. You would think, given how much I talk about employee experience/happiness, I wouldn't need a reminder!

This story covers a non-work related, but extremely important, part of my life, but it can be considered in many contexts, including our work life. I hope those who read this, will find an "aha" moment and enjoy it!

This year, we have had to make decisions for my eldest daughter, who is 10 years old, regarding the secondary school she will attend for at least 5 years from September 2024.

My daughter has a deep love of music and has been sharing her love of music with anyone and everyone for more than half of her life (my previous article talked about her desire to make people happy). In September, she joined an amazing College Chapel girls' choir almost an hour's drive from our home. She had trained for 10+ hours per week for several years to achieve this and loves it. The choir is an 8 year commitment for our family, but one which we are very willing to make, to say we are amazingly proud of her is a massive understatement. Her Primary School have been amazingly supportive of her too.

At this stage (school year 6) in the UK, parents/carers and their children typically tour schools to determine the one best suited to their child and circumstances. We (well my wife and I really) fell in love with a school based on their brilliant academic outcomes. We were massively excited to be walked around the school during an Open Evening taking in everything about how brilliant it was - the full trophy cabinets, the multiple reminders of "success"... We discussed the choir, the need for minimal time flexibility and how we were willing to work hard to make things work with the school. You can imagine how our collective excitement roller-coastered when our daughter was congratulated on her amazing achievement and for us to be told, in the next breath, "We do not do that here!". I was prompted to write with the whole story and what we needed, but this, along with a couple of later calls and emails, went unanswered for 4 weeks - perhaps not responding would eventually make the "problem" go away! I talk about the importance of communication all the time - this is a perfect example of it not going so well!

We tried so hard to impress the school; my daughter had studied a song, above her current music grade, to sing for 4 weeks and had additional lessons to help prepare for a music audition at the school - she nailed it and ranked very highly, according to the letter we received from the school. We thought that this school would be great for her and she could be a great student and ambassador for both this school and the choir - we simply got part of this thought wrong!

The headaches that followed were worsened by a crazy, stupid belief I had managed to store in my mind that "this is the only school that can provide an education to my daughter" - I am not sure how I had arrived at this ridiculous belief and I feel awful for letting this thought settle in my head!

As the chances of my daughter attending this school were diminishing and the feeling that this school was not a good fit for her and our family, more widely, were settling in, I talked to many people about the situation and we were directed to our local school. We also learned a lot about other peoples' experiences, that were not too dissimilar to our own, through this process.

I called the local school and explained my story in great length to the first person who picked up the phone (poor lady!) - the fact that we needed some flexibility and that we were willing to work with the school to make things work. "I'll get someone to call you back" was the response and, honestly, I didn't expect what happened next to happen.

The next day, my phone rang, it was the Deputy Head Teacher from the local school - "Tell me your very exciting story!" were her first words to me. Imagine going from "We do not do this here!" to "Tell me your exciting story!" - the art of communication! She patiently listened to my story and passionately explained that the school value academic outcomes but also the child's and family's happiness - they would "welcome my daughter with open arms" (subject to going through an admissions process and getting a place!) and would support the "once in a lifetime chapel choir opportunity" that my daughter is so fortunate to have. We were invited in for the open evening and school tour where we met the Head Teacher, the Deputy Head and the Head of Music and were blown away by the facilities in the local school and their apparent desire and love of doing the right thing for their students.

I look back at my belief that nothing else could compare to the other school and want to punch myself (pretty hard)!

Takeaways

Other recent events in my life, including horrible news of my wonderful friend's health situation and deaths of a friend and family member, have reminded me that we sometimes have to go with our heart but we must ALWAYS be happy - life is way too short. We can get starstruck, desperate, only to find that beneath the fine looking surface things are just not right for us - sometimes the right thing to do is to "walk"!

So, tonight we submitted the admissions forms for our daughter to attend the local school and we look forward to watching her bloom academically and musically whilst smiling (we hope!).

Thanks for reading and I hope this article helps someone out there!