The importance of 'allyship' and Networks in spaces that are not your own...

Media and in particular, social media have done a lot of us dirty. It has created a false sense of reality that exists in a space that cannot be touched, tasted or smelled and yet, here we all are on a platform called LinkedIn. No matter the platform, we are generally inundated with the Good; whilst every now and then the Bad will pop out to let us know that they're still here and the Ugly tends to lurk in those dark spaces that we've either never heard of or dare not venture. Subsequently, they all come together in some way or form to shape our thoughts and feelings about any given subject. It is at this point that I present to you the issues that I face when it comes to the space of LGBTQ+ communities - a place that is riddled with understandable sensitivities but also the quagmire of misinformation and disinformation. A space where I, as a Tutorial Facilitator want to stand strong.

I lead with the disclaimer that I am not really a fan of the word "ally" because of it's overuse/ misuse has given rise to some folks having the idea that although they are invited to the cookout, they at some point start to feel too comfortable and believe that they created the cookout and invited you (hold tight Black community!). I've toyed with the word "affiliate" with some work colleagues and whilst that feels a little closer to a truth I think connects better for me, there's still something about it that doesn't quite capture everything - but I prefer it. Another disclaimer, I am a cis-het black woman who does tutorials and every now and then LGBTQ+ communities enter the chat. I am straight and until you do the work around LGBTQ+ anything, you don't fully comprehend the power of straightness! I state this to highlight that when I deliver or discuss these communities with young students who are just about on the precipice of learning who they are, words and descriptors matter and in the absence of anybody from those communities in the room, I am literally at the LGBTQ cookout and really don't want to appropriate or outstay my welcome. Language changes all the time and language ultimately does matter.

Being a woman of a certain age, I really thought that this generation was tech-savvy, free of bi/ trans/ homophobia and everybody was in it to win it (think daisy chains and singing round campfires); but I don't think that I could have been more wrong. There are spaces where this is happening (hold tight creative crew!) but generally, there is still work to be done. With the rise of the dark web that houses incels, neo-fascists and other undesirable folk, the social media that I alluded to up top, is what is shaping a lot of young minds out there. Even the more progressive young people, say things that could be interpreted as phobic and a by-product of my role has become challenging language, interpretation and inference. However every single time, I have touched on anything pertaining to the LGBTQ+ communities, these are the things that happen and the comments I hear:

• The fixation on the transgender community: there becomes an almost hyper-focus on the trans community. It's always prefaced with "Live how you want to live but I just don't get it...." It's also interesting that the focus is on the male-to-female transitions. Maybe because they are the more prominent of the group or because I am generally delivering tutorials to males. I am slowly working on this with stats and new vocabulary counteracting the negativity with the use of statistics (no they're not taking over!)
• The Furries: Without fail, discussion on the transgender community always inevitably leads onto discussion about Furries - a subset community that identify as anthropomorphic characters. It really is a thing that has gained prominence out of anime but if you think Bugs Bunny, the Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood or the Fox in Aesop's Fables, these characters have been around for an extremely long time. This new subset however, are more of an online, cosplay situation but because there is the issue of identity then it suddenly becomes part of the discussion. It helps to point out at this juncture that out of 7 billion people, the highest estimate of this community is 2 million. The lowest, 100,000. Contextualising the number of people helps to minimise the apparent "threat" of this community (again, no they're not taking over!).
• The (almost obvious) comments of dissent: "I'm tired of hearing about it. They're just ramming it down our throats." "If I had a gay child, I'd disown them." "If someone is telling me they're a woman and they clearly look like a man, cry me a river, I'm telling them straight that they're a man." and then the classic displacement of privilege "I feel like as a straight, white man, they [the LGBTQ+ communities] are taking over and their voice takes priority."

With a predominantly male and working class cohort of students, I find their views surprising, interesting, disheartening and enlightening all at the same time and yet, I want to hear their voices. I see a lot of people pushing that education and educational institutions are only preparing our students/ pupils for the world of work. Conjuring up images of a capitalist system churning out workers who are blind to the churning only to feed the system and all voices of dissent are crushed. Tutorials - for me - is the space where the challenging happens. A safe space to discuss the issues of what they are going to face in the world of work, university or self-employment. It is also the space where they are able to develop their own thoughts around inclusivity of communities that they are not a part of. Challenging themselves as to what things look like, why they look the way they do and potential ways forward to either change what they don't like or create new ways of living that suits them but not at the harm of others. What I present are statistics, facts, evidence and in some cases, voices of the past that were instrumental in bringing us to where we are today. However, this cannot be done in a bubble. You need the voices of lived in experience to guide you.

At BMet, I thank those voices and our LGBTQ+ Network for helping me shape the Tutorial around the LGBTQ+ communities. It was a journey of working out how to say what I wanted to say without it being patronising or hurtful. I am a cis-het Black woman standing in a space that is not mine. My own awareness of invasion or Straight Gaze is what makes me uncomfortable - Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Am I giving what is needed to enhance the views of young minds? Is there a student in here that this is helping? Also and really importantly, Am I suppressing any voices? I understand oppression/s and this is the space where those with lived-in experience can enhance my own thinking, affiliation or allyship. They have been an enormous help. (Hold tight Sam Coles and the EDI crew!) And I want to say, I don't feel like I am fully 'there' but once I get it out there, I have room to amend, ask further questions and amend again.

This reads as an introspective and (I couldn't think of a clever title) and maybe I can answer more questions further down the line. Maybe readers can suggest new intersectional ways of approaching the subject. At this point, I hope that my Tutorials will be a space to cultivate more thinking and care (and daisy chains around the camp fire). However, I have to keep remembering that no matter how articulate my students present their views, young people are just that- young. I see far too many adults expecting our young people to be like a Victorian seen-and-not heard version of reality. But without stating the bleeding obvious, technological advances, life expectancy and two (open) world wars were meant to put paid to that and honestly, I really want to hear the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of young people's thoughts so that we have the opportunity to unlearn, learn and relearn not only our own truths but the truths of others.

Thanks for reading. Glenice/ Patricia

#ViewsMyOwn #EDI #LGBTQ #Tutorials